Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

pattycakeys12

Offline (the 12/23/2015 at 6:46am) | Search for a member

pattycakeys12

7Fucked!

pattycakeys12pattycakeys12
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 7 September 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5863
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About pattycakeys12 : Not entirely sure how you got here since I don't comment and I don't stalk,very often;), but gimme a fuck and ill fuck ya back

pattycakeys12's page activity

Visits<b>am1717</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 12:31pm<b>lil_c_03</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 5:49pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 7:52pm<b>weeyin12</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 12:11pm<b>Si123</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 5:22pm<b>royr7395</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 5:39am<b>SnowFangedBeauty</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 12:42am<b>Toonice45</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 9:02pm<b>infantrygeorge</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 4:12pm<b>ThatOneAstro</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 10:41pm<b>lchollett</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 6:31pm<b>Michelle1121</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 10:40pm<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 11:56pm<b>PinkApplePie</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 12:20am<b>belindailene</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 4:53pm<b>amybrookehardin</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 6:49am<b>menabella</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 4:25am<b>leeleeamber</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 4:22am

Fucked!<b>Michelle1121</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 4:40am<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 5:56am<b>thalassa11</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 4:43am<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 6:54am<b>hoosierholla</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 9:07am<b>menabella</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 4:04am<b>weeyin12</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 11:51am

pattycakeys12's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of pattycakeys12's badges

pattycakeys12's favorite FMLs

Today, I was over my grandparents' house for my grandfather's birthday. For years they would talk to each other in Italian and I could never understand them, so I started to take an online class to teach myself Italian. Now I know all they talk about is how much they hate everything about me. FML

#20773825
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62260) - you deserved it (4376)

On 07/10/2013 at 3:51am - misc - by mike - United States

Today, I made two cakes. One for my boyfriend's birthday tomorrow, the other for my family so they wouldn't eat the birthday cake. I came home to find they ate half of each. FML

Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there are children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. FML

#20772281
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55044) - you deserved it (22298)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was going to fight the guy who my girlfriend left me for. While waiting at the park, he sent me a video of the two of them having sex on my bed. FML

#20768398
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70234) - you deserved it (23190)

On 07/07/2013 at 8:35am - love - by SimG (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized that I am such a Grammar Nazi that when a porn star says something grammatically-incorrect, I lose my boner. FML

#20766909
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50292) - you deserved it (20181)

On 07/06/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by BlueB (man) - United States

Today, I tried acid for the first time while camping with my best friend. A drunk driver smashed into my car, leaving it totaled. I had to explain the situation to a cop all while thinking my car was bleeding green ooze. FML

#20759193
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26292) - you deserved it (66974)

On 07/02/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I finished explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he started crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML

#20756438
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51449) - you deserved it (9820)

On 06/30/2013 at 5:44pm - kids - by sorry, kiddo (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, my crush kissed me for the first time. However, my hair was falling into my face and getting in the way. No problem, I wear a wig so without thinking, I simply removed it. I don't think he'll kiss me again anytime soon. FML

#20755685
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50962) - you deserved it (19508)

On 06/30/2013 at 6:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I've come to the conclusion that my phone addiction is getting out of control after I typed my PIN code into the microwave. FML

#20754108
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26825) - you deserved it (38392)

On 06/29/2013 at 10:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my house was broken into. The burglar didn't steal my brand new laptop, iPad or TV. They instead made off with every single item of clothing I own. When I went to turn on my TV to try and distract myself from this, I found all of the cables in back missing. The police don't believe me. FML

#20753916
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51324) - you deserved it (2830)

On 06/29/2013 at 5:55am - misc - by Angry and Confused - United States (Nevada)

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63113) - you deserved it (4166)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, I decided to go buy myself a dildo to use on my lonely nights. Once at the adult store, I also grabbed a birthday card to make it seem the dildo wasn't for me. At the register, the cashier looked at me and said, "For God's sake, save yourself some money. I already know it's for you." FML

#20742274
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62648) - you deserved it (24564)

On 06/23/2013 at 6:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend announced to everyone at dinner that she was no longer a virgin. This was news to everyone: her parents, siblings, best friend, and me. FML

#20742151
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70783) - you deserved it (4709)

On 06/23/2013 at 2:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my wife made me moist cat food burgers as a prank. I didnt have the heart to tell her that they tasted better than the ones she usually makes. FML

#20742017
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51473) - you deserved it (4272)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:05am - misc - by kittybad - United States

Today, my brother got one of those water-vapour cigarettes. I was playing around with it, and my neighbour saw me through the window. She came over to yell at my parents about my "addiction" to marijuana. When my parents told her to get lost, she called the cops and tried to get me arrested. FML



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: