Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

pattycakeys12

Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member

pattycakeys12

7Fucked!

pattycakeys12pattycakeys12
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 7 September 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4924
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About pattycakeys12 : Not entirely sure how you got here since I don't comment and I don't stalk,very often;), but gimme a fuck and ill fuck ya back

pattycakeys12's page activity

Visits<b>ThatOneAstro</b> - 12 hours ago<b>lchollett</b> - 16 hours ago<b>Michelle1121</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 10:40pm<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 11:56pm<b>PinkApplePie</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 12:20am<b>belindailene</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 4:53pm<b>amybrookehardin</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 6:49am<b>menabella</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 4:25am<b>leeleeamber</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 4:22am<b>Emi1y</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 10:34pm<b>thalassa11</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 10:43pm<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 12:54am<b>flux_panic</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 12:20am<b>weeyin12</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 2:23pm<b>hoosierholla</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 11:40pm<b>tranced_</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 11:31pm<b>moron011</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 2:14pm<b>kjlancaster</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 4:51pm

Fucked!<b>Michelle1121</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 4:40am<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 5:56am<b>thalassa11</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 4:43am<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 6:54am<b>hoosierholla</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 9:07am<b>menabella</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 4:04am<b>weeyin12</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 11:51am

pattycakeys12's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of pattycakeys12's badges

pattycakeys12's favorite FMLs

Today, while taking an order over the phone for the customer at work, I began to hear slight moans. The moans gradually became faster and louder, until climax was achieved and I realized I was being used for phone sex. FML

#20955245
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44740) - you deserved it (3640)

On 11/12/2013 at 3:29pm - work - by long day - United States (Michigan)

Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML

#20952990
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43798) - you deserved it (3993)

On 11/10/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was quizzing a girl at my college, and I noticed that when she answered a question, her ears wiggled. It was cute, so I pointed it out. She burst into tears, and the guy next to me said, "Way to make her feel insecure, douchebag." FML

Today, after doing vigorous chores all day with my girlfriend, her mom came and paid us each $100. My girlfriend cried and threw a fit because she said they were her chores, so she deserves all the money. FML

#20952303
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47861) - you deserved it (4290)

On 11/10/2013 at 3:03am - love - by Go away - United States (Iowa)

Today, somebody broke into my car, just to steal the obviously fake $1,000,000 bill hanging from my rear-view mirror. FML

#20951747
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45553) - you deserved it (11252)

On 11/09/2013 at 6:27pm - money - by jsyn (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I heard my dad complaining that he won't be able to go to a concert, because it's happening on my birthday. This is the first time he's even acknowledged my birthday in over ten years. FML

#20951699
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42371) - you deserved it (3132)

On 11/09/2013 at 5:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, a woman accused me of bullying her son, and said that she is going to get me fired. Her son is a 27-year-old teacher at my school, whom I disciplined for showing up drunk. FML

#20950736
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46545) - you deserved it (2486)

On 11/08/2013 at 8:46pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, she did it again. While I was minding my own business reading the paper, she casually walked up to me and slashed my face with her nails, drawing blood and screams of pain. I need to get out of this abusive relationship, but no one will adopt my asshole of a cat. FML

#20950555
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44372) - you deserved it (8206)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:02pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I walked into my dorm room, only to witness my roommate shaving her vag over my trashcan. FML

#20950523
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49959) - you deserved it (4083)

On 11/08/2013 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by JN5SLK (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

#20950369
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45712) - you deserved it (3467)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm - work - by thank god you'll only live once (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I've been awake for nearly three days due to homework and my mom's wedding preparations, so I took some adderall to keep me awake at school. I took too much, totally zoned out in class, became hopelessly fascinated by my own hand, and was accused of doing drugs. FML

#20950229
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38377) - you deserved it (20879)

On 11/08/2013 at 12:43pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, the package I've waited for months for finally arrived. It turned out it wasn't for me, but for my sister, who bought the same thing only 2 weeks ago. When I called, the company told me they received my payment, but that there were no more of the item in stock. FML

#20946407
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43436) - you deserved it (2687)

On 11/05/2013 at 12:34pm - misc - by GDubeau24 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

#20946225
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45851) - you deserved it (5543)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I played a friendly prank on my dad, loosening the legs of his chair so it would fall apart when he sat on it. He responded by making me stand outside and watch as he keyed both sides of my car, front to back, as punishment. FML

#20944097
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36971) - you deserved it (42591)

On 11/03/2013 at 4:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Cyprus (Nicosia)

Today, my car keys are in my house and my house keys are in my car, and I'm in neither. FML

#20943997
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49468) - you deserved it (8855)

On 11/03/2013 at 3:18pm - misc - by Argh (man) - France (Poitou-Charentes)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: