About pattycakeys12 : Not entirely sure how you got here since I don't comment and I don't stalk,very often;), but gimme a fuck and ill fuck ya back
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pattycakeys12's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 09/02/2015 at 9:56am / India (Tamil Nadu) / Miscellaneous
Today, I dyed my hair purple. I came out of the salon and a little girl walked past and said, "Wow, you look like a mermaid!", to which her mother quickly said, "No she doesn't, she looks like her parents don't love her." FML
by laurencoc / 08/31/2015 at 6:50pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids
Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML
by Anonymous / 08/30/2015 at 11:44am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Lord Buttfuck IV / 08/29/2015 at 10:06am / France / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that I won't be able to attend my own wedding, because I'll be in a mandatory training class that doesn't allow people to take vacation for any reason. So now we've wasted $10,000, and I can't even fly home for one day. All because I got promoted unexpectedly. FML
by Anonymous / 08/28/2015 at 4:05pm / Italy (Friuli-Venezia Giulia) / Work
by jack / 08/27/2015 at 6:56am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Health
by Anonymous / 08/25/2015 at 3:54pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
by Anon / 08/25/2015 at 6:10am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/24/2015 at 2:08pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, my husband and I locked our keys in the car. Our only spare is in the drawer with all our sex toys. So we either had to get our oldest go in the drawer and get them to bring to us or walk the 12 miles home. My feet will never recover from that walk. FML
by Anonymous / 08/24/2015 at 12:25am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, even after explaining to my boyfriend that I was self conscious about my breasts because they're slightly misshaped, he still persisted with begging me for a tit pic, saying he would still see me as beautiful. I gave in and sent one. He responded with "LOL WHAT ARE THOOOOOOSSSEE." FML
by YourAverageFckUp / 08/22/2015 at 9:21pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
by fuck no / 08/22/2015 at 6:18am / India (Kerala) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/22/2015 at 2:58am / United States (Michigan) / Work
by ambiiii / 08/19/2015 at 11:25pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, my girlfriend of five years broke up with me, saying I've changed and she can't be with someone who's so emotional all the time. Well I'm so sorry that after two weeks, I'm not quite over my brother's death yet. FML
by Anonymous / 08/18/2015 at 12:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…