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Today, after moving house, changing my number, my email, and beginning legal action to get away from a girl who was stalking me, I decided to go to the movies to relax. As soon as I got in my seat, that same girl walked into the nearly empty theatre. She sat next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29971) - you deserved it (2307)
On 11/05/2010 at 5:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, as a physics teacher, I was testing a class to see how high a sound frequency they could hear. One girl claimed she could hear the sound even though it was physically impossible. Without thinking, I replied "Only dogs can hear this frequency." Needless to say, she was picked on all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20868) - you deserved it (9066)
On 10/29/2010 at 8:17am - kids - by mrtut (man) - United Kingdom (Merseyside)
Today, I was lying on my bed with my boyfriend. I didn't really want to have sex so I told him I would if he really wanted too, but I wouldn't enjoy it. He then started to undo my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9840) - you deserved it (37443)
On 09/06/2010 at 8:50am - intimacy - by sad-sexed (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, while at my friend's house, I noticed her brother had a bit of an accent. I laughingly said "Is it me or does your little brother have an accent?" She stared and replied with "No, he has autism." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10944) - you deserved it (31837)
On 08/12/2010 at 7:00am - misc - by kggggg - United States (Nevada)
Today, at 1am, the girl of my dreams that I've been trying for over three years to date, finally asked me out via SMS. Too bad I was asleep at the time. She now thinks I've rejected her, and will no longer speak to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21857) - you deserved it (2515)
On 02/20/2010 at 11:22am - love - by Bilirubin (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I got a phone call from my cheating ex asking if I would go out with him that night. After 3 years of no contact, I decided to give him another chance and gave him my address for his GPS. I was then told that I lived too far and he didn't want to drive. He cancelled. I live 15 minutes away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8303) - you deserved it (16270)
On 12/29/2009 at 2:41am - misc - by SherryBaby (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I awoke to find a giant turd on my carpet, cat hair everywhere in my room, and a big hole in my window screen. I don't own a cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27135) - you deserved it (1390)
On 10/17/2009 at 7:13am - animals - by Ethan (man) - United States (California)
Today, during a major fight with my boyfriend, I threw a necklace he had given me out the window, thinking it was just a cheap trinket. He then told me, for the first time, that that necklace had belonged to his now deceased grandma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9336) - you deserved it (64956)
On 09/14/2009 at 6:22pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was at a friend's pool party. He lives on a lake and one of our friends wouldn't get in the water. My best friend and I decided to push him off the dock. Once we had, I turned to see my crush who had watched looked shocked. Then said "You know he can't swim right?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (5402) - you deserved it (44893)
On 09/04/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by babydoll13211 (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my crush came over and we began to fool around. He started to kiss my stomach, and just when I was getting into it, he pulled away with a disgusted look on his face, wiped his mouth, and said, "We'll continue this when you get rid of all your bellybutton lint." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15698) - you deserved it (44484)
On 07/14/2009 at 5:41am - intimacy - by unlucky_number13 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while working at McDonald's a car full of obnoxious teens came through. They had made a $30 order, and handed me a tin of small change, claiming that on a McDonald's ad they saw that we, employees, liked counting change. I had to count out $30 in spare change during a rush period at work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43781) - you deserved it (3339)
On 07/11/2009 at 2:28am - work - by Meow (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I went to announce to my son that I am pregnant again. After I told him, he looks up and yells: "fuck this shit!" and walks out of the room. My son is nine years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56215) - you deserved it (20775)
On 06/27/2009 at 12:05am - kids - by poormom (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went out on a first date with a cute guy. Turns out we won't be going on a date again because I didn't know the difference between "Star Wars" and "Star Trek." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24661) - you deserved it (48666)
On 05/15/2009 at 5:17pm - love - by not4geeks (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I went out to a nice restaurant for my friend's birthday. I went to the bathroom and heard the woman in the other stall crying. She couldn't pull her underwear up over her obese, old-lady ass because her arms don't reach that far anymore. I was the only one there. I had no choice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66231) - you deserved it (8189)
On 05/12/2009 at 3:19am - health - by bathroomseww (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (89042) - you deserved it (14380)
On 04/30/2009 at 8:15am - intimacy - by soooyeah (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Friday 24 May 2013
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