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Today, A Friend Informd Me Tat Ma Dog's Name Means "penis" In Greek. I Live In A Predominantly Greek Neigbourood, And Apparently I've Been Screaming Fir "dong" Every Evening Fir Te Past 3 Years. No Wonder Tey Don't Talk To Me Muc. FML
2DAY "TE PANTOM OF TE OPERA" SOUNDTRACK BLASTED ME AWAKE AT 4 AM . NOT KNOWING OW IT GOT ON MA IPOD , I CECKED AN FOUND I AD BOUGT TEOLE $17.00 ALBUM IN MA SLEEP . TIS IS TE SECOND TIME TIS MONT; TE FRST TIME I DOWNLOADED TE SOUNDTRACK FROM "TE WIZARD OF OZ" . FML
I WAS VISITING MA DAUGTER,OSE USBAND WAS STILL ASLEEP AT NOON!! I MADE A POINT OF STOMPING AROUND ON TE ARDWOOD FLOOR AND SPEAKING LOUDLY TO WAKE IS LAZY ASS UP!! TURNS OUT E'S NOW WORKING A 14-OUR GRAVEYARD SIFT, AND IT AS NO NEGATIVE EFFECT ON IS SOE-TROWING SKILLS!! FML
I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down looool for a talk , only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore , for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML
Today... I was writing out palm cards and didn't know if I'd spelled a word correctly... so I stared at it 4 about 10 seconds waiting 4 spell check to tell me if it was right or not before I realised I was writing on paper. fat FML
Today, mah boyfriend discoverd that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs mah clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewardd with a queef. He found it hilarious and testd it out 5 more times. FML
Friday 27 March 2015