Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

patchesOhoolihan

Search for a member

patchesOhoolihan
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 31 May 1999 (14 years)
  • Number of visits : 137
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About patchesOhoolihan : Football, Pokemon, food, repeat.

patchesOhoolihan's last visitors

TypicallLickitungJrThatSlappinBassLeeBCallilahStoicCloudAdamUSNlexypaigeJMichaelInnocentMaliceemxy92

patchesOhoolihan's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of patchesOhoolihan's badges

patchesOhoolihan's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to dye my hair blue. The result is slightly different than I expected: my white bathroom is now blue, and so are my skin and nails. The only thing that isn't blue is my hair, which is now green. FML

#21036650
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38267) - you deserved it (18289)

On 01/22/2014 at 10:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

#21020996
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53676) - you deserved it (22243)

On 01/08/2014 at 12:43am - intimacy - by gottacatchemall (woman) - United States

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

#20713183
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54386) - you deserved it (10838)

On 06/08/2013 at 6:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was called into my son's school because he had got into a fist-fight with another pupil and I had to take him home. He clammed up about the reason behind the fight, until I finally managed to coax it out of him: the other kid is in "Hufflepuff" and he's in "Ravenclaw." FML

#20070089
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22064) - you deserved it (3681)

On 09/13/2012 at 10:31am - kids - by PissOffPottermore (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at around 2am, I was walking through a parking lot to my car when a man walking behind me told me not to be scared. I turned around to tell him there was no problem. He was naked. FML

#18991669
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29345) - you deserved it (2572) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/04/2012 at 11:39am - misc - by DarkDolly - France

Today, over a year on from my parents telling me my dog had died, I went to the shelter to volunteer, and saw my old dog. FML

#17534903
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43432) - you deserved it (2043)

On 08/21/2011 at 1:51am - animals - by Dogless - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my teacher called me into his office so he that he could pass me some information for my project. Just as he plugged in my thumbdrive, he opened the folder named "School Work". That was the folder name I used to disguise my porn. FML

#1415955
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21654) - you deserved it (97824)

On 04/28/2009 at 5:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, I was babysitting for a new family. While the father was telling me about bed times and how to reach him, their dog started humping my leg. As I tried to discreetly push the dog away, his paw got caught in the pocket of my huge sweatpants, pulling them down. I was wearing a thong. FML

#771625
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62259) - you deserved it (10390)

On 04/02/2009 at 7:05pm - animals - by darlingditz (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I'm in Spain, and told the kids with whom I will be working that I was excited to be working with them. Only the form of excitement I used apparently refers to sexual excitement. Basically, I told the kids I was sexually aroused to be working with them. FML

#30294
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39751) - you deserved it (11866)

On 02/12/2009 at 7:14am - intimacy - by thegoldenboy3 (man) - Spain (Andalucia)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: