About pataplop : Dedicated to martial arts 💪
Tried a lot of them, for example :
Western Boxing, Judo, Jiu-Jitsu, Karate (wado-ryu), Taekwondo, Wing Chun, Muay Thai, Sanda, Taichiquan, and now I'm 100% in Shaolin Kung Fu after having spent one month training it at it's birthplace !
Skiing is wonderful, let's enjoy snow while it lasts !
Love to have a laugh at every time of the day ;)
Well I kept you away long enough from other people's misery.
P.S. : if you're seeing this, send me a message :) I'm from the French-speaking part of Switzerland, but I also speak German quite fluently and understand Italian !
Have a nice day stalking !
About pataplop : Dedicated to martial arts 💪
pataplop's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
pataplop's favorite FMLs
Today, I heard what sounded like high-pitched feminine moaning coming from my son's room. I knocked and walked in, expecting to catch him red handed with a girl. He'd just beaten his high score on Flappy Bird. FML
by royallymessedup / 09/21/2014 at 11:33am / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, I had just sat down in the lobby of my doctor's office when my phone alerted me that I had a friend request. I checked; it was from some girl from high school. I muttered to myself, "I don't want to be your friend." I then heard a gasp. She was sitting across from me. FML
by emydoll / 04/27/2014 at 11:28pm / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in a market in France, and went to ask the seller for some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flustered and instead of saying "pomme de terre", which is the French for potato, I said "pomme de merde". I literally asked for an "apple of shit". FML
by Kaddiscott / 01/20/2014 at 5:12am / Italy (Trentino-Alto Adige) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/10/2013 at 9:23am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, while training a new employee, I had to run after a naked guy chasing a hooker at the hotel I work at. I made him go back to his room, while she offered me a good time for 300 bucks. The trainee left and hasn't come back yet. FML
by Awkward / 08/22/2013 at 7:50pm / United States / Work
by Forever Alone / 07/03/2013 at 12:26am / Canada (Ontario) / Money
Today, my sister and I were having a slumber party in my room since my parents left on a trip. They left my grandparents here to watch us. It was past bed time and we started hearing some strange noises through my floor. We thought it was the radio. Turns out my grandma is a screamer. FML
by kalleylynn / 06/08/2013 at 2:38am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML
by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by Money-money-money / 12/13/2012 at 9:25pm / France / Money
Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML
by cumhole / 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, it's the 3 month anniversary marking the day two friends and I shaved our heads as a show of solidarity for a friend starting chemo. Her prognosis is good and her hair only thinned slightly. We, on the other hand, look like a motley crew of lesbian biker chicks. FML
by Anonymous / 01/15/2011 at 2:09am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
by Tai / 10/31/2010 at 9:30am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/09/2010 at 12:19pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, I was watching Free Willy with my boyfriend. It was at the part where the boy leaned into the water to give Willy a hug. I asked, "How do you even hug a whale?" My boyfriend rolled over and gave me a hug, and said, "Like this." FML
by leigh2812 / 01/05/2010 at 5:03pm / Love
Today, I woke up at my crazy ex-girlfriend's house, naked and disoriented. You know, the kind of crazy like we-didn't-break-up-it-was-just-a-fight-now-we-can-get-married crazy. She says everything's fine now and she's so glad we've "started our family." FML
by drugged_on_arrival / 09/10/2009 at 6:55am / Virgin Islands British / Miscellaneous
- Today, it was my fifth wedding anniversary. After an intense lovemaking session, my husband looked… Today, my drunk boyfriend decided to wake me up by fingering me. Let's just say going to the ER to… Today, I grabbed some lotion to have a good old wank. However, I'd got it a bit wrong in my rush to…