About paravoz : How about you?
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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
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Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
It’s in the can
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Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to put his penis in a hole in our bedroom wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25687) - you deserved it (4284)
On 12/25/2011 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)
Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19522) - you deserved it (2632)
On 12/20/2011 at 11:32pm - intimacy - by bathtime (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40949) - you deserved it (5769)
On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I walked in on my mom, braiding my dad's pubic hair. I don't know what scarred me more; my mom braiding his pubic hair or the fact that his pubic hair is long enough to be braided. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40165) - you deserved it (2607)
On 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm - intimacy - by Joe (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was looking through some old family pictures for a scrapbook I'm making. I found images of my dad passed out in his underwear, my great-grandpa having a drunken bath, and an unidentified moustachioed man sitting on the toilet, giving the photographer the finger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15755) - you deserved it (1863)
On 11/27/2011 at 11:02pm - misc - by Meowingtons500 - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, my girlfriend sent me a sexy picture of herself in my boxers. I thought it would be funny to take a picture of myself in the thong she left in my room and send it to her. She thought it would be funnier on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20432) - you deserved it (40768)
On 11/05/2011 at 3:25am - misc - by kdeeeceee - United States
Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33289) - you deserved it (3927)
On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I came home from work to my 3 year old daughter sniffing the rug in the living room. When I asked her what she was doing she said "Daddy smell this." So I went, got on my knees and bent down to smell it and she pushed my face in the dog crap smeared in the rug. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24255) - you deserved it (5145)
On 10/22/2011 at 10:06pm - kids - by me - United States (Maine)
Today, my mother came into my room and had a thirty minute long conversation with me. She kept looking very nervous and uncomfortable. Only after she left did I realize that a porn site was open on my computer screen. The entire time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11321) - you deserved it (33185)
On 10/22/2011 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, it was our 5th anniversary, so I decided to play a little joke on my girlfriend. Before I gave her the real present, an engagement ring, I gave her a gift-wrapped rolling pin instead. I ended up in the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20928) - you deserved it (13021)
On 10/20/2011 at 4:26am - love - by Awie (man) - Austria (Wien)
Today, I was in a public restroom. The guy in the urinal next to me was making loud sounds of discomfort. I ignored him and finished up. I turned around to be greeted by his red swollen beehive of a crotch, and him asking "Is my penis supposed to look like this?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28298) - you deserved it (1746)
On 10/17/2011 at 12:20am - health - by blarp - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71604) - you deserved it (9139)
On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I spent thirty minutes in the shower trying to remove "Pierre", a face complete with moustache that my girlfriend drew in sharpie on the tip of my cock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20890) - you deserved it (7793)
On 08/31/2011 at 10:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)
Today, my roommate told me that unscented deodorant prevents ingrown hairs on the bikini line. She shared this beauty tip with me when I caught her using my Lady Speed Stick on her snatch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24581) - you deserved it (1800)
On 08/17/2011 at 5:14am - intimacy - by AllieOops (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32899) - you deserved it (3156)
On 08/13/2011 at 2:37am - love - by bTOhno - United States (Oklahoma)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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