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paravoz

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paravoz
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 24 December 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 388
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About paravoz : How about you?

paravoz's last visitors

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paravoz's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of paravoz's badges

paravoz's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

#20116072
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19408) - you deserved it (3819)

On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

#20108644
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30490) - you deserved it (3185)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States

Today, while dog sitting my neighbor's Great Dane, I decided to order pizza. As soon as I received it, the dog stood in the hallway staring at me. As soon as I moved, he ran full force and knocked me into the door, causing me to fall and drop the pizza, which he promptly devoured in front of me. FML

#20083358
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18443) - you deserved it (2749)

On 09/22/2012 at 10:12am - animals - by Grauncho - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

#20015589
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13822) - you deserved it (37124)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML

#19806269
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26820) - you deserved it (2701)

On 06/18/2012 at 7:38am - misc - by DwarfFrog - United States

Today, I learned that if you're going to use vicks vapor rub for a cold, you should remember to wash your hands before changing your tampon. FML

#19790692
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22307) - you deserved it (10825)

On 06/15/2012 at 2:19am - health - by sickness_sucks - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up early for an important team meeting I needed to attend. I washed, got changed, and sat down to eat breakfast... I then woke up again, an hour late and covered in cereal. FML

#19645294
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15890) - you deserved it (2810)

On 05/19/2012 at 4:03am - work - by themcdave - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

#19631928
472 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38440) - you deserved it (3081)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, I found out where all my missing panties have gone, when my 12-year-old daughter was caught selling them to the boys at school. FML

#19598679
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26081) - you deserved it (2795)

On 05/09/2012 at 6:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

#19506149
426 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38701) - you deserved it (3514)

On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
582 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11631) - you deserved it (51487) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

#19343662
370 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36634) - you deserved it (11379)

On 03/25/2012 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML

#18754752
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29484) - you deserved it (2212)

On 01/09/2012 at 4:39am - misc - by maruskasommers (woman) - Czech Republic (Pardubicky kraj)

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

#18744677
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42092) - you deserved it (36801)

On 01/08/2012 at 9:36am - intimacy - by omgwhyme (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was at the park feeding nuts to some squirrels. One fell down my shirt and the next thing I know I'm being attacked by a squirrel that looked like it was on steroids. FML

#18660623
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21740) - you deserved it (5046)

On 12/31/2011 at 2:24am - animals - by YOURMOM - United States (California)



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