Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

paravoz

Offline (3 hours ago) | Search for a member

paravoz

3Fucked!

paravozparavoz
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 24 December 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 920
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About paravoz : How about you?

paravoz's page activity

Visits<b>Arni792</b> - yesterday at 3:09am<b>aylind</b> - yesterday at 11:33pm<b>kissmeImawkward</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 2:42am<b>bethers_</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 5:54am<b>silvermoon5033</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 3:51am<b>KayDee29</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 5:35am<b>MechanicKayla</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 10:27pm<b>1PersonIsMyWorld</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 11:38am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 11:19am<b>odessarose</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 3:51am<b>A_Little_Girl77</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 2:25am<b>IvyRizzzzoli</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 11:31am<b>aleemoe45</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 2:45am<b>FMLMaximus</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 5:07am<b>oldmanringo</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 10:31am<b>myselfkk</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 7:51am<b>flyingmind</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 4:15am<b>PlainWhiteWalls</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 2:23am

Fucked!<b>heatherma</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 12:40am<b>missa8604</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 4:45am

paravoz's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of paravoz's badges

paravoz's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom got me a Christmas present. Since I'm a whovian, she thought it would be cool to get me what she thought was a sonic screwdriver. It was actually a dildo shaped as one. I opened the gift in front of my entire family. FML

#21323893
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33354) - you deserved it (3471)

On 12/25/2014 at 10:17am - intimacy - by whovian - United States (Maine)

Today, I posted a photo on Facebook showing a side-by-side view of me before and after I'd tried out my new makeup. My dad commented, "What is this, Gollum cosplaying an Orc?" My mum, brother, and over 20 "friends" liked his comment. FML

#21320382
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27454) - you deserved it (4635)

On 12/19/2014 at 2:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was studying for my Spanish midterm nonstop. After I closed my book, I was so tired that I thought that my cat was asking me questions in Spanish. FML

#21303629
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28542) - you deserved it (3271)

On 11/21/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Studying is for crazy people. - United States (California)

Today, I caught my 15-year-old son trying to roll catnip into a joint and smoke it. FML

#21281464
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32244) - you deserved it (4399)

On 10/19/2014 at 11:48pm - kids - by Bad Dad - United States (Colorado)

Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML

#21281207
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30349) - you deserved it (4787)

On 10/19/2014 at 4:58pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but I was so nervous that I had a panic attack, fainted and split my head open. My girlfriend then fainted at the sight of the blood. An onlooker had to call an ambulance for both of us. FML

#21280696
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35965) - you deserved it (3596)

On 10/18/2014 at 9:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

Today, I went into an exam room to do a check-up on one of my patients. I told the little girl's mother that she needed her flu shots. When the girl heard this, she took an apple out of her pocket and threw it at me. FML

#21267077
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33328) - you deserved it (3935)

On 09/28/2014 at 3:26pm - health - by jazzie7719 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to take my husband's laptop to University for an in-class exam. I opened the screen, and loud porn started to auto-play. The silence in the class was deafening as I tried to make it stop. FML

#21256842
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48840) - you deserved it (6813)

On 09/12/2014 at 9:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

#21255419
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42173) - you deserved it (11757)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50518) - you deserved it (9195)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

#21241090
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42231) - you deserved it (5983)

On 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm - health - by humdrummitydrum (woman) - United States

Today, I went camping with my husband not too far from our house. We got our tent pitched up, stove ready and roll-out bed out. He then said, "I'm just gonna go for a walk." It had been about an hour before I decided to go find him. He had walked home to play CoD. FML

#21239602
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45633) - you deserved it (5205)

On 08/17/2014 at 6:19am - misc - by AnnoyedWoman (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

#21239517
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42588) - you deserved it (13822)

On 08/17/2014 at 2:15am - kids - by you ripped them off ages ago (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I went to a job interview, and a guy ahead of me went to enter the building, only to walk face-first into a glass door. I rushed to help him up, and after we had a good laugh about it, I turned to walk inside, only to walk straight into the door as well. FML

#21236025
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41296) - you deserved it (8871)

On 08/12/2014 at 5:23pm - health - by facefuckedguy (man) - Australia (Queensland)



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: