About paraphony : the karate master
paraphony's FML badges
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
paraphony's favorite FMLs
by thatwas10yearsago / 09/27/2012 at 10:41pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
Today, a girl-scout asked me to buy cookies, in front of Giant. She looked nice, so I bought 5 boxes from her. She took the money and went home with her mom. I opened the boxes when I got home and realized that the boxes just had rocks in them. I got scammed by a girl-scout. FML
by twit / 03/15/2009 at 9:14pm / United States (Maryland) / Money
Today, I had to get my hair chopped off for a role that I'm playing in a show. I was staring at the floor while the woman cut my hair, and I suddenly heard her start crying. Her tears were immediately followed by "It's okay! I have a friend in New York who can fix it. We won't charge you." FML
by Noname / 03/11/2009 at 1:21am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I have to go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her." FML
by TuralSucks / 03/10/2009 at 9:10pm / United States (Nebraska) / Love
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids
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- Today, I went to my company's HR manager to ask what the procedure was to file a sexual harassment… Today, I had to imagine myself savagely beating my cat to death, just to stop myself from getting a… Today, I dreamed that I was making out with a cute girl. Just as I was about to take it to the next…
- Today, because I’m on my period, I asked my boyfriend to turn around so I could change my clothes.… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because…