parabel

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Offline (the 07/01/2015 at 2:02pm)

parabel

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2353
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About parabel : *_*

parabel's page activity

Visits<b>Aquamarine9</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 3:07pm<b>dinosxxrawr</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 6:39am<b>ohgeejosee</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 1:23pm

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parabel's favorite FMLs

Today, I found my bike that was stolen a week ago in front of someone's house. Now this wouldn't have been a problem if my husband didn't steal it to go meet with his girlfriend. FML

by double trouble / 05/04/2015 at 12:04am / Love

Today, I pulled a piece of dental floss out of my ass. How it got there is one of life's great mysteries. FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2015 at 3:42am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom decided to have a get together at my house while I was at work. When I came home, she pulled me aside and asked me to pretend to be her maid. FML

by Eternal Servitude / 05/02/2015 at 12:54pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML

by Anonymous / 05/01/2015 at 10:22pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, while shopping with my 6-year-old daughter, she said, "Mommy, remember you wanna get duck tape!" A middle-aged guy nearby scoffed and told her: "DUCT, not DUCK. Dumb cunt." I ended up having to drive my bawling daughter home with no shopping. FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2015 at 2:16pm / Kids

Today, I had a one night stand. After holding in my farts all night as is done, I decided enough was enough and to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out instead I shit myself in her bed. I was naked at the time so was unable to hide it. FML

by Anonymous / 01/29/2015 at 4:17pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

Today, I dreamed that I cheated on my boyfriend. I was so overwhelmed with guilt that I called him while half-asleep to tell him about it and apologize. I'm fully awake now and he doesn't believe it was really a dream. FML

by ihateeverything / 01/14/2015 at 12:35pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I was walking with a female friend when suddenly, my ex-girlfriend comes running down the street and says, "So, you're cheating on me with this slut, huh?!" We've been separated for a decade now. FML

by RipeFlame / 01/13/2015 at 10:05pm / United States (Florida) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my husband confessed that when he's angry with me, he uses my makeup sponge to apply his hemorrhoid cream. FML

by Maiar / 01/13/2015 at 12:42pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Love

Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend at the store. Before I knew what was happening, he'd sniffed me and started whimpering about how I don't smell like I used to. He does this kind of crazy shit all the time. FML

by GOAWAY / 12/26/2014 at 6:06pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, my little sister randomly came up to me and said: "Aww, don't be sad. Even ugly people can get boyfriends." She then smiled, patted my back, and walked off. I wasn't actually sad before, but I am now. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2014 at 4:54pm / United Kingdom (Southend-on-Sea) / Kids

Today, I went to break up with my psychotic bitch of a girlfriend after months of abuse. When she opened the door, her 5-year-old son ran up to me, smiling and calling me "DADDY!" for the first time. Now I don't have the heart to dump the psycho and devastate her son. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2014 at 12:36pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love

Today, my boss sent me a link on how to write a good resignation letter. FML

by scoold / 12/21/2014 at 5:02pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Work

Today, I got a new downstairs neighbor. Herpes. FML

by fuck / 12/16/2014 at 4:04pm / Norway (Buskerud) / Health

Today, I asked my spouse to help me apply some hemorrhoid relief cream, since I couldn't see what was going on down there clearly. Next time, I hope I'll remember if I'm still in a conference call with my online classmates so they don't witness the whole thing again. FML

by Heyjai / 12/16/2014 at 9:31am / United States (New Jersey) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.