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parabel

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parabel
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  • Number of visits : 455
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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parabel's favorite FMLs

Today, it's my birthday. The only people who wished me a happy birthday were the ones who saw the "birthday boy" poster my sister plastered around school, which included a photo of me as a kid dressed up as a girl. FML

#21114561
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10483) - you deserved it (781)

On 04/16/2014 at 1:24pm - misc - by birthdaygirl - United States (California)

Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML

#21114169
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18578) - you deserved it (3091)

On 04/15/2014 at 10:48pm - health - by Nose bleed - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I took my 12 year-old to the orthodontist. While I was talking to the dentist about what was needing to be done, my daughter listened. With a straight face, the dentist joked, "Yeah, we're going to need to rip off her entire jaw." My daughter won't leave her room anymore. FML

#21098025
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36240) - you deserved it (4236)

On 03/27/2014 at 8:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

#21097985
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39503) - you deserved it (5588)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:10pm - love - by oops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up at 3:00 am to the sound of a bird screeching. Turns out, my roommate bought a parrot without consulting me first. Even better, my roommate expects me to pay for half of the bird's expenses. FML

#21097210
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37059) - you deserved it (2580)

On 03/26/2014 at 7:44pm - animals - by In urgent need of a new roommate - United States (Oregon)

Today, I tried to get out of my boyfriend's car in an angered exit because he got a text from the woman he's been cheating on me with. I ended up tripping on my purse, falling out of the car and face-planting onto the sidewalk. FML

Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML

#21095689
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45169) - you deserved it (10997)

On 03/24/2014 at 11:39pm - misc - by dani (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my clingy girlfriend refused to leave me alone long enough for me to read an article about dealing with clingy girlfriends. FML

#21095315
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38196) - you deserved it (5193)

On 03/24/2014 at 4:28pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my drunken self became a vaguely racist poet. I am now the author of a four-page poem entitled "Chocolate Men". FML

#21094789
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28759) - you deserved it (15257)

On 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm - misc - by chocochoco - United States (New York)

Today, my brother tried to pay me to teach him how to French-kiss, so he wouldn't screw up on his first date. I'm shocked that the weirdo managed to get a date in the first place. FML

#21094457
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37388) - you deserved it (3503)

On 03/23/2014 at 4:25pm - love - by doesn't fuck on the first, thank god (woman) - United Kingdom (Southend-on-Sea)

Today, I realized how sad my life is when for my 18th birthday, I went to a strip club, by myself, in GTA V. FML

#21092916
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39000) - you deserved it (7022)

On 03/21/2014 at 7:42pm - misc - by BMTH2296 (man) - United States

Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML

#21092834
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36663) - you deserved it (2741)

On 03/21/2014 at 5:44pm - health - by iusedprotectionanyway (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my husband actually tried to pay me to forget about the affair that he's been having. FML

#21092678
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42089) - you deserved it (3433)

On 03/21/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames)

Today, fed up with my nerdy appearance, I got my hair shaved off, hoping for a Walter White kind of look. I didn't think it was too bad, but not even an hour later, I'd already been called a "fat Bruce Willis" and compared to a freshly circumcised penis. FML

#21092620
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32664) - you deserved it (6508)

On 03/21/2014 at 12:10pm - misc - by richard (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, a tiny worm was wriggling across the screen of my Mac laptop. I tried to wipe it away with my thumb, but it just kept crawling. Turns out the worm lives *inside* my screen, beneath the glass. FML

#21092367
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39859) - you deserved it (3757)

On 03/21/2014 at 1:14am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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