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parabel

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parabel

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  • Number of visits : 699
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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parabel's page activity

Visits<b>dinosxxrawr</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 6:39am<b>ohgeejosee</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 1:23pm

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parabel's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a first date. Everything was going well until he asked me, "So, what's the biggest thing you've stuck up your vag?" FML

#21281604
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23613) - you deserved it (1822)

On 10/20/2014 at 5:28am - intimacy - by bye loser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML

#21281207
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23081) - you deserved it (3601)

On 10/19/2014 at 4:58pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I gave birth to my first child. The first thing my husband says? "When can I hit it again, doc?" FML

#21280942
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28293) - you deserved it (3572)

On 10/19/2014 at 7:22am - kids - by how about never? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took my printer to work because the one in my office is broken. When I tried to leave, my boss stopped me and accused me of stealing it from the office. Nobody would believe me when I explained. Now my boss has a new printer. FML

#21280817
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27515) - you deserved it (4814)

On 10/19/2014 at 12:11am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but I was so nervous that I had a panic attack, fainted and split my head open. My girlfriend then fainted at the sight of the blood. An onlooker had to call an ambulance for both of us. FML

#21280696
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29467) - you deserved it (2980)

On 10/18/2014 at 9:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML

#21280509
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29338) - you deserved it (10218)

On 10/18/2014 at 3:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was at a football game with my boyfriend. I said my hands were getting cold, hoping he'd hold them. He replied, "Uh, they make pockets for a reason..." and physically showed me how to put my hands in my pockets. FML

#21280399
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28932) - you deserved it (5936)

On 10/18/2014 at 10:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend tried to rid me of my hiccups. As he'd screamed at me and I'd pissed my pants, I just burst into tears. FML

#21279967
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26346) - you deserved it (3143)

On 10/17/2014 at 4:12pm - health - by catt - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I rode my new motorcycle to work for the first time. As I accelerated, I felt a sharp pain in my neck. Apparently, poisonous spiders can actually get trapped inside motorbike helmets. Duly noted. FML

Today, my boyfriend gave his penis a high five for not getting me pregnant. He does this every time I get my period. Every. Single. Time. FML

#21279390
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34026) - you deserved it (5501)

On 10/16/2014 at 9:27pm - love - by highfive - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I discovered that I climax sooner if I think about pretzels. Yes, pretzels. The food product. I'll never be able to eat them again. FML

#21278160
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31798) - you deserved it (4389)

On 10/15/2014 at 2:26am - intimacy - by datgurllllukno (woman) - United States

Today, I watched from my office window as a couple maneuvered their car to squash a dead pigeon flat on the road. I then watched as they got out of the car, set up tripods and started taking photos of it. FML

Today, I left for a fifteen-hour drive with two guys who won't stop talking in a Yoda voice. Sick of this nonsense, I am. FML

#21277425
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31637) - you deserved it (4379)

On 10/14/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by longdrive - United States (California)

Today, my friends and I went paintballing. The instructor showed us the sound of an unloaded gun by shooting at my face. It wasn't unloaded. FML

#21277056
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41874) - you deserved it (2913)

On 10/13/2014 at 5:33pm - health - by clumsylobster - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, it's the first birthday of the condom in my pocket. FML

#21276832
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34630) - you deserved it (6943)

On 10/13/2014 at 10:15am - intimacy - by badplacerightnow (man) - United States (Texas)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

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