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parabel

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parabel

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  • Number of visits : 694
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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parabel's page activity

Visits<b>dinosxxrawr</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 6:39am<b>ohgeejosee</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 1:23pm

parabel's FML badges

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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parabel's favorite FMLs

Today, in a supermarket, my four-year-old son whispered to me, asking if the checkout lady was able to wash between her fat rolls. She heard. FML

#21268173
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24700) - you deserved it (2964) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/29/2014 at 11:08pm - kids - by super maman - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I was flipping out because I couldn't find my wallet, and after several hours of cussing myself out, I went downstairs to make breakfast. I poured cereal into my bowl and my wallet flopped out with the Honey Nut Cheerios. I need to stop drinking. FML

#21267969
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15253) - you deserved it (22765)

On 09/29/2014 at 10:13pm - misc - by KasSmoke - United States (Texas)

Today, on my first day of sailing practice, I managed to sit on a metal cleat. After being admitted to the ER, I was informed that I had two vaginal lacerations that needed surgery. The nurse tried to convince me it was my lucky day, because the hospital café was serving vanilla pudding. FML

#21267748
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29588) - you deserved it (2626)

On 09/29/2014 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my mom got genuinely angry at me because I refused to let her pop a zit that I had "promised" she could pop a few days back. She said with utmost look of disappointment that I'm "not a man of my word". FML

#21267417
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23950) - you deserved it (3891)

On 09/29/2014 at 12:31am - misc - by SystemofaBlink41 (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I made up an ingenious plan to finally hook up with the guy I really like at a party. Well, the plan itself worked great. Too bad I got so drunk that I used it on the wrong person. FML

#21266978
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17230) - you deserved it (24377)

On 09/28/2014 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML

#21266933
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35780) - you deserved it (2969)

On 09/28/2014 at 11:30am - intimacy - by tw@ (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad "What's up?" He casually replied: "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML

#21265875
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28352) - you deserved it (2280)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dog got so excited about a new toy that she vomited all over it. I had to clean up the vomit, throw away the toy, and now have a very sad dog. FML

#21265865
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31203) - you deserved it (3550)

On 09/26/2014 at 3:44pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was asked to order a new lockable cash tin for work. When my boss returned to ask which one I'd selected, I said, "An 8-inch black one". Her giggle said it all. FML

#21265697
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28280) - you deserved it (5335)

On 09/26/2014 at 9:03am - work - by dicksonthebrain (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a blind date that my friend set up. He greeted me with a winning smile, a belch, and the words, "Nice tits." I'm beginning to lose hope. FML

#21265612
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30755) - you deserved it (2838)

On 09/26/2014 at 2:56am - love - by bri_sci94 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend and I were planning on having sex. He first excused himself to the bathroom, then returned with a sad face saying he had fumbled with himself in the bathroom to get "ready" and accidentally came. He said, "I was thinking of you though." FML

Today, I found out that the neighborhood call-girl my husband and I secretly joke about is the same woman who secretly pleasures my husband for money. FML

#21263093
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37344) - you deserved it (4589)

On 09/22/2014 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by mislead - United States (Louisiana)

Today, the man who hit on me in a store and asked for my number showed up on my doorstep to inquire about my couch for sale. With his wife. FML

#21262712
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30193) - you deserved it (2247)

On 09/21/2014 at 9:27pm - misc - by ohtheirony -

Today, I found my husband in the bathtub, which was filled with blood-red water, motionless and staring blankly at the ceiling. I started screaming and crying, and he burst into laughter at his "hilarious" prank. He only seemed regretful that his video camera hadn't been recording properly. FML

#21261267
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36004) - you deserved it (3431)

On 09/19/2014 at 1:58pm - misc - by TuT (woman) - France

Today, I went with a couple of my friends to see a friend who's fallen very ill. Her dad walked in with a gun and demanded to know which of us had gotten his daughter pregnant. By the time I realized it was a joke, I'd already pissed myself. FML

#21261205
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33992) - you deserved it (4376)

On 09/19/2014 at 11:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)



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