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parabel

Offline (the 04/28/2014 at 4:42pm) | Search for a member

parabel

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  • Number of visits : 638
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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parabel's page activity

Visits<b>dinosxxrawr</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 6:39am<b>ohgeejosee</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 1:23pm

parabel's FML badges

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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parabel's favorite FMLs

Today, I held the door open for a woman and her kids on my way out of the bank. She started accusing me of patronizing her, and when I just let go of the door in protest, she deliberately leaned in so it hit her in the face. I felt the glares from the entire bank as she pretended to cry. FML

#21220355
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40318) - you deserved it (3179)

On 07/25/2014 at 2:16pm - misc - by notadoorman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML

#21219246
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38073) - you deserved it (19445)

On 07/24/2014 at 11:59am - misc - by FML - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was so ashamed of my weight when I sat down and the suction of my thighs made a loud fart noise, I admitted to it being a fart rather than my fat rolls. FML

#21218616
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30491) - you deserved it (17258)

On 07/23/2014 at 7:24pm - health - by ThunderThighs (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to my weekly AA meeting. It was a huge crowd and I was the guest speaker. Not 5 minutes into my speech, I was booed off stage and banned from further attendance because I accidentally wore a Jack Daniel's shirt. FML

#21217633
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19836) - you deserved it (46580)

On 07/22/2014 at 7:20pm - health - by dypshyyt - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML

#21217343
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51262) - you deserved it (39744)

On 07/22/2014 at 1:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend said we can't have sex with the light on anymore. He said he can never finish because the face I make when I orgasm makes him laugh. FML

#21216984
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31085) - you deserved it (22426)

On 07/22/2014 at 1:55am - intimacy - by teegtwo (woman) - United States

Today, I was scrubbing the bloody aftermath of a successful mouse trap off of my stove with an old toothbrush. After a few good scrubs, out of habit I put the toothbrush in my mouth while I turned on the water. FML

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML

#21213104
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44592) - you deserved it (6130)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm - love - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I ran into my boyfriend of 5 years. The weird thing was that he was supposed to be in Iran. The even weirder thing was that he was with his wife and kids. FML

#21212869
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62921) - you deserved it (4811)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:49pm - love - by someonepleasehelpme (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to drop off my library book. I thought I'd dropped in into the library book drop, but I'd accidentally put it in the post office mail box. To get the book back, I had to explain this incident five times to three librarians, a mailman, and my sister who called me ridiculous. FML

Today, I ran into a good friend at work. I work at a jail. She doesn't. FML

#21211411
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50039) - you deserved it (4177)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:51pm - misc - by Is that..? - United States (Colorado)

Today, I came home early, only to hear a mad scramble in the living room. I found my now ex-girlfriend and best friend in there, sweaty and in their underwear. The idiot actually had the balls to claim he was teaching her how to do push-ups. FML

#21210956
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52927) - you deserved it (3815)

On 07/16/2014 at 4:09pm - love - by betrayed (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML

#21206318
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42738) - you deserved it (7886)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm - animals - by and god shat (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had to explain to my boss that using a wired connection instead of wifi won't stop his computer from getting viruses. He looked at me, open-mouthed and wide-eyed, like he was a 13-year-old boy and I was a pair of tits. Then he called me clueless and told me to get back to work. FML

#21206280
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37700) - you deserved it (3434)

On 07/11/2014 at 6:54pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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Tuesday 22 July 2014

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