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Today, I decided to introduce my girlfriend to my parents by telling them that we were gonna have a very special guest for dinner. While my mom was preparing the meal she asked, "What does he like?" I'm straight. My parents thought different. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60724) - you totally deserved it (4018)
On 03/17/2009 at 3:25am - love - by isaacBENNETT (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was with my grandma waiting in a line. She only speaks Chinese and there was a black man in front of us talking his phone. My grandma tells me that the black man's really loud and annoying. The man finishes and turns and said fluently in Chinese, "What's wrong with loud black men?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (38895) - you totally deserved it (20665)
On 03/16/2009 at 10:09pm - misc - by kaichennnxx (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. Just as things were heating up, my closet door flew open and my little brother ran out screaming, "Mom, they're doing it, come quick!" My mom paid my 9 year old brother to spy on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (85975) - you totally deserved it (9303)
On 03/13/2009 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by evanescence (man) - United States (California)
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I undressed and then proceeded to throw up all over the rug. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63064) - you totally deserved it (6892)
On 03/12/2009 at 6:08pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my mom came to me and asked if I had drank her wine. I'm 16, so I lied and said "no". The next morning there was a DVD on my bed labeled "pool house security cameras - love mom." It was a video of me downing two bottles of red wine and having it off with my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25084) - you totally deserved it (128250)
On 03/12/2009 at 4:08pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I went over to my uncle's house for dinner and my stomache hurt really bad. I noticed there were two toilets and sat in the prettier one and proceeded to take a huge dump. Turns out I chose the brand new toilet that wasn't connected to anything yet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41052) - you totally deserved it (18622)
On 03/12/2009 at 3:56pm - misc - by Noname - United States (California)
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