nice and none of ur bisness just kidding
Today, my boyfriend who likes to get high was driving me insisting he wasn't currently high. A family of deer was standing on the side of the road and he pulled over by them waited until they walked closer to us and said, "what seems to be the problem officers?" He wasn't kidding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15155) - you totally deserved it (25765)
On 08/07/2009 at 2:34am - misc - by Jstar - Sent from a mobile version
Today, a very good platonic friend of mine said he had a question to ask me. Jokingly, I threw my arms around his neck and said 'Oh yes, yes, a thousand times yes!' When I sat back down, I saw tears in his eyes, and he said 'You've made me the happiest man alive' as he pulled a small box out of his coat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14949) - you totally deserved it (58214)
On 08/06/2009 at 5:25pm - love - by dundundadumb (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I woke up with a black eye. Why? My husband was having a dream where he was fighting somebody and wound up punching me in the face in his sleep. I had a very important job interview this morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32481) - you totally deserved it (1426)
On 08/06/2009 at 3:22pm - love - by DravensMommy (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML
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On 08/06/2009 at 9:35am - misc - by who_could_it_be - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39171) - you totally deserved it (6422)
On 08/06/2009 at 7:11am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was introduced to my future stepmother, but it turns out that I already know her. Not only are we the same age and went to the same high school, when we were in the same math class together the teacher would often confuse our names because "we could pass as twins". FML
I agree, your life sucks (46407) - you totally deserved it (1215)
On 08/06/2009 at 4:45am - misc - by whatismydadthinking (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)
Today, I punched my wife in the face, because she jumped out from behind the bedroom door in the dark. I'm afraid of the dark. I'm 21. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16602) - you totally deserved it (25046)
On 08/06/2009 at 3:58am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was sitting at the computer when this really annoying fly kept landing on the keyboard. After a while, I took the bottom of a pen and squished it. Twenty minutes later I absentmindedly started chewing at the bottom of the pen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9070) - you totally deserved it (37416)
On 08/05/2009 at 11:04pm - health - by dumbblonde (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was walking in the mountains when I tripped, I grabbed onto the fence in an attempt to soften my fall. The fence was electric. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37761) - you totally deserved it (2324)
On 08/01/2009 at 12:49pm - misc - by Electronotfriend (woman) - Poland (Pomorskie)
Today, my girlfriend and I were having ice cream and I jokingly asked "What's better? The sex or ice cream?" Apparently I don't pleasure her like Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream does. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12223) - you totally deserved it (29594)
On 08/01/2009 at 10:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, after a long stressful day, my boyfriend and I decided to take a shower together. As I'm telling him all about my day, I suddenly felt something warm on my foot, only to look down and see him peeing on me. When I asked what he was doing he said "I'm marking my territory, you're mine now." FML
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On 07/24/2009 at 3:34am - love - by Surprise (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was on a flight and one of my friends was sitting next to this woman who happened to be sleeping with her mouth wide open. My friend decided to take a picture. While I was editing it, a man sitting behind us said "If you want to take a picture of my girlfriend, wait until she's awake". FML
I agree, your life sucks (3757) - you totally deserved it (38026)
On 07/24/2009 at 1:23am - love - by SexyPlayer9 (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my mother invited me to a nice restaurant to meet her boyfriend whom she's been seriously dating for a month. Imagine my surprise when she led me to a table and my boyfriend's father stood up, shocked, to greet me. Rather than being horrified, she is now planning double dates every week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35734) - you totally deserved it (1309)
On 07/23/2009 at 8:52pm - love - by pleaseno (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I pulled up next to my boyfriend at a stoplight. He was in the back of a police car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37875) - you totally deserved it (3740)
On 07/21/2009 at 1:45pm - love - by sexychica (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I lost it on my co-workers about how hard I've been working, picking up everyone's slack with no appreciation, and it was clear that I needed to find a job that actually rewarded hard work. As I went to grab my jacket to leave, I saw a cake and gift card for a cruise on the table, from the staff. FML
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On 06/24/2009 at 4:44pm - work - by Whoops (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
