Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

pandemic

Search for a member

pandemic

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1384
  • Number of comments : 151
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 14 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

pandemic's page activity

Visits<b>stereofeathers</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 7:53am<b>danictic</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 1:39am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 8:26am<b>EyesofStone</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 12:38pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 10:51pm<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 10:23am<b>Dynosaur_dollie</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 1:56pm<b>Allegretto</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 12:39am<b>guineagirl</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 9:18am<b>adam97</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 6:19pm<b>Surferboy139</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 11:43pm<b>numbernegative0</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 11:40pm<b>ThriceWritten</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 3:42pm<b>whatisntlove</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 6:30am<b>mFUNdo21</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 4:22am<b>Mornai</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 1:01am<b>qpworiruty</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 1:45am<b>Jenmic</b> - the 02/13/2011 at 10:44pm

Fucked!<b>stereofeathers</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 1:53pm

pandemic's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

pandemic's favorite FMLs

Today, a wild squirrel managed to get into my house. I can't see him but I hear him in the walls. FML

#8712644
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26504) - you deserved it (2408)

On 02/28/2010 at 6:16am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 4 years. Her response? First, she threw up all over me and then she started crying hysterically. I'll take that as a no. FML

#6267863
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35460) - you deserved it (2527)

On 11/12/2009 at 12:36am - love - by youmakemesick - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went on a date with an awesome guy. I got super hammered and punched him in the face. FML

#5894935
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8691) - you deserved it (59203)

On 10/19/2009 at 11:42am - love - by DrunkGirl - Sent from mobile version

Today, my sister bought my five year old son a giant ant farm for his birthday. We set it in the living room on a table. I went into the kitchen for a minute, and when I walked back in to the living room, my son was holding the empty case over his head, smiling. FML

#5488289
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36163) - you deserved it (7545)

On 09/26/2009 at 4:28pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while teaching swim lessons, a boy was holding a noodle and claimed it was his fishing rod. Trying to be fun, I grabbed on and told him to "reel" me in. He then yells out 'YAY, I caught a whale!'. FML

Today, I had a dentist appointment. While waiting, I pulled out my Cosmo magazine to entertain myself. The woman sitting across from me points and tells me I'm reading "Satan's Manual." I told her I don't believe in Satan. She said, "You'll know he's real when you become his bitch!" FML

#2442070
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52818) - you deserved it (7832)

On 05/30/2009 at 7:22pm - misc - by satanlovesme (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML

#1415940
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16402) - you deserved it (85499)

On 04/28/2009 at 4:53am - love - by H-B (man) - United States

Today, I was giving a presentation to a group of high school kids about how being 'cool' wasn't as important as they might think. When I was done I asked for questions. A kid says, "Miss, I get that you're not into being cool, but you're wearing your pants inside out.' He was right. FML

#1148346
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43437) - you deserved it (24366)

On 04/20/2009 at 8:21am - misc - by indi1011 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I drove past a firehouse that had volunteer firemen taking collections. I take out a $20 and start to roll the window down when I remember my window was broken. I ended up driving by, holding the $20 against the window, staring at the fireman. Now the fireman thinks I was taunting him. FML

#1076233
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49106) - you deserved it (16200)

On 04/18/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to sleep in the same room as my grandparents. They checked to see if I was asleep, so I pretended to be to avoid getting scolded for staying up. Turns out they were checking so that they could make love. I witnessed two 70-year-olds have sex in the bed next to me for 20 minutes. FML

#507959
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (227835) - you deserved it (30021)

On 03/21/2009 at 11:38am - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (Michigan)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: