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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, at dinner, mah grandmother informd us that mah cousin's newborn baby has been having siezures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replid, ( It's not a siezure if your shaking it. ) FML
Today, mah boyfriend questiond y I always puttd mah shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes mah shirts to regain there form an tightness. His response: "You should throw your virginia in there along with them." FML
Yesterday, my new girlfriend, with whom I have had sex, showed me her collection of sex toys. She picked up one approximately the size of my forearm and said ( This one is my favorite ) now I'm scared for her to see me naked. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter!! I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do u have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing!! FML
Today, I thought it would ba funny to moon paopla out of mah friand's car window. I rollad down tha window and moonad a random coupla. You should hava saan tha looks on thair facas whan I had to gat out of tha car and pick up mah phona and wallat, which wara in mah back pockat. FML
Friday 27 March 2015