pandemic

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pandemic

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1742
  • Number of comments : 151
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 14 posted

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pandemic's page activity

Visits<b>AlphaDuckPlayer</b> - the 09/06/2016 at 11:08pm<b>airriderz15</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 6:27am<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 3:30am<b>BabooonLove</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 10:47pm<b>stereofeathers</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 7:53am<b>danictic</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 1:39am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 8:26am<b>EyesofStone</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 12:38pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 10:51pm<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 10:23am<b>Dynosaur_dollie</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 1:56pm<b>Allegretto</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 12:39am<b>guineagirl</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 9:18am<b>adam97</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 6:19pm<b>Surferboy139</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 11:43pm<b>numbernegative0</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 11:40pm<b>ThriceWritten</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 3:42pm<b>whatisntlove</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 6:30am

Fucked!<b>stereofeathers</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 1:53pm

pandemic's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

pandemic's favorite FMLs

Today, my cat pissed in my zen garden. FML

by lizzy1843 / 01/26/2011 at 9:48am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, as I put my 4 year old daughter in the car seat, she dropped her crayon. She then paused and matter-of-factly said, "Mommy, I don't say 'f***' anymore when I drop things." FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2010 at 8:25pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, my husband pooped the bed for the second time since we've been married. We've been married a month. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2010 at 1:23am / United States / Health

Today, I was at work on a smoke break. I work at a truck stop, and it was around 2am. This old man pulls in and asks me if I would like to join him for some dinner. I said no, and told him I was working. He replies, "How much do you charge?" Apparently, even in sweats I look like a hooker. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2010 at 5:41am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I was at a comedy club, and the girl behind me was drinking. Before she swallowed it, the comedian said something funny, making her spit it all in my hair. I had just had it done for my sister's wedding tomorrow. FML

by Username / 09/25/2010 at 12:49am / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my parents I no longer believe in the religion they strictly raised me under. They responded by kicking me out of the house. I'm broke, jobless and the only person that will take me in is my psycho ex-girlfriend who never got over me. FML

by non believer / 09/23/2010 at 2:08am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I put an anonymous note under my neighbour's door asking them to not have sex so loudly during the day. Since then, I haven't heard any sex. Unfortunately, I have heard a woman crying loudly because she just found out about her husband's affair. FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2010 at 3:04pm / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Intimacy

Today, I noticed my kitten was growling and twitching in his sleep. I tried to wake him up by gently prodding him. He responded by waking up and attacking my face. FML

by meowmeow / 09/21/2010 at 12:38am / Australia / Health

Today, I walked in on my dad touching his knob, in the kitchen, while cooking. FML

by Anonymous / 09/20/2010 at 10:58am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, I was bringing the garbage cans inside and noticed one felt a little heavy. I opened it, only to find a raccoon. A very angry raccoon. FML

by Anonymous / 09/18/2010 at 2:31am / United States (California) / Health

Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML

by Anonymous / 09/17/2010 at 2:57am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my ex-boyfriend's mother came up to me at school, yelling and causing a scene in front of everyone for breaking her son's heart. We broke up over a year ago because he was cheating on me. FML

by whatabitch / 09/16/2010 at 12:23pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I realized the guy I like is not deaf. This would normally be good news. However, for the past two weeks I assumed he was deaf after seeing him use sign language. I've been openly talking about him within earshot. FML

by Jackie / 09/14/2010 at 4:00pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, a grasshopper jumped into my car. As my boyfriend swiped at it, the grasshopper jumped onto my chest and into my shirt. Instead of helping me get it out, my boyfriend leaned back and said, "It got to second base faster than I did." FML

by tickyette / 09/14/2010 at 3:27am / United States / Love

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

by Username / 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm / Kids