palahniukpaul

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palahniukpaul

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2174
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About palahniukpaul : Um... HI!!!!

palahniukpaul's page activity

Visits<b>I_am_TheSixth</b> - the 09/22/2016 at 12:13pm<b>obewonstrangeone</b> - the 09/01/2016 at 10:58pm<b>WhereverIMayRoam</b> - the 08/30/2016 at 12:36am<b>Liongoddess8</b> - the 08/28/2016 at 2:58pm<b>flyingflies</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 10:16pm<b>burriedalien01</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 2:53am<b>ILoveMyDogs420</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 10:32pm<b>10220706</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 10:16am<b>ExpectNeo</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 10:05am<b>lilpurplekat</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 12:42am<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 2:01am<b>HorrorJr</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 1:21am<b>CzaneWinters</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 4:09pm<b>imerichello</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 10:32pm<b>liv1222</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 4:21pm<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 4:04pm<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 2:38pm<b>imeanyeahok</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 1:31am

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palahniukpaul's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML

by Vitriol / 01/15/2012 at 1:14pm / France / Love

Today, I am 8 weeks pregnant. I have debilitating 'morning sickness' all day. And now I get to add peeing my pants every time I throw up. FML

by Anonymous / 01/07/2012 at 9:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I woke up after a long night of partying. When I went to wash off my face, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My missing tooth was almost enough to make me overlook my black eye. FML

by msnewyearseve / 01/01/2012 at 12:19pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend decided to raid my games collection and try her hand at Amnesia: The Dark Descent. Two hours later, despite my best attempts to make her stop shrieking like a dying crackhead every two minutes, two cops showed up at the door with our neighbors in tow. FML

by axel519 / 12/30/2011 at 9:43pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while having sex, I told my boyfriend that I love him. I could feel him go soft inside me. FML

by KrissyBearr / 12/30/2011 at 8:36pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my family. The night consisted of my sisters hiding in a tent and chasing us around in it, my parents singing songs from 'The Lion King' opera-style and throwing cheese at him. Pretty sure he's freaked out. FML

by wellthatsawkward / 12/30/2011 at 1:35am / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, I was taking people's orders at the drive-thru. I was confused as to why people were screaming their orders at me, until one of my managers handed me a paper that he'd found taped to the menu, saying "speak loudly speaker isn't working properly." Punkd. FML

by Ashton Sprunger / 12/30/2011 at 12:38am / United States / Work

Today, my separation anxiety got so intense, I found myself smelling my boyfriend's pillow. FML

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML

by Anonymous / 12/14/2011 at 6:12pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I photocopied several hundred pages of my school's textbook because I didn't want to buy it. My school later says to just buy it and it will be reimbursed. FML

by ChrisD2V / 11/30/2011 at 10:52pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my mom went through my textbook and sharpied everything that could be "pornographic." It's a high-school biology textbook. FML

by wow / 11/27/2011 at 8:07pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my wife has been bribing my daughter to keep quiet about her affair with my boss. That would explain the iPhone 4S, the $500 shoes, the $200 purse, and the professional $300 haircut. They told me it was because she had straight A's. FML

by brokeandalone / 11/20/2011 at 9:05pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, I found out that a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser will erase the paint right off your wall. FML

by jazzybell / 11/20/2011 at 7:29pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser will erase the paint right off your wall. FML

by jazzybell / 11/20/2011 at 7:29pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went camping and shared a tent with this girl I have been sleeping with here and there for a year. To impress her, I popped a certain male enhancement supplement. Thirty minutes later I found out she was on her period. What a long night. FML

by johnnydoe6969 / 11/20/2011 at 6:51pm / United States / Intimacy