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Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20304) - you deserved it (2454) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I am 8 weeks pregnant. I have debilitating 'morning sickness' all day. And now I get to add peeing my pants every time I throw up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21183) - you deserved it (3414)
On 01/07/2012 at 9:07am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I woke up after a long night of partying. When I went to wash off my face, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My missing tooth was almost enough to make me overlook my black eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8701) - you deserved it (24183)
On 01/01/2012 at 12:19pm - misc - by msnewyearseve - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend decided to raid my games collection and try her hand at Amnesia: The Dark Descent. Two hours later, despite my best attempts to make her stop shrieking like a dying crackhead every two minutes, two cops showed up at the door with our neighbors in tow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17901) - you deserved it (1908)
On 12/30/2011 at 9:43pm - misc - by axel519 (man) - United States
Today, while having sex, I told my boyfriend that I love him. I could feel him go soft inside me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35988) - you deserved it (6992)
On 12/30/2011 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by KrissyBearr - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my family. The night consisted of my sisters hiding in a tent and chasing us around in it, my parents singing songs from 'The Lion King' opera-style and throwing cheese at him. Pretty sure he's freaked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21652) - you deserved it (2929)
On 12/30/2011 at 1:35am - love - by wellthatsawkward (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I was taking people's orders at the drive-thru. I was confused as to why people were screaming their orders at me, until one of my managers handed me a paper that he'd found taped to the menu, saying "speak loudly speaker isn't working properly." Punkd. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18359) - you deserved it (2093)
On 12/30/2011 at 12:38am - work - by Ashton Sprunger - United States
Today, my separation anxiety got so intense, I found myself smelling my boyfriend's pillow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15621) - you deserved it (5897)
On 12/21/2011 at 12:12am - love - by 409sPoisonGirl - Australia
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16307) - you deserved it (16883)
On 12/14/2011 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I photocopied several hundred pages of my school's textbook because I didn't want to buy it. My school later says to just buy it and it will be reimbursed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7258) - you deserved it (24975)
On 11/30/2011 at 10:52pm - work - by ChrisD2V - United States (California)
Today, my mom went through my textbook and sharpied everything that could be "pornographic." It's a high-school biology textbook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23057) - you deserved it (1372)
On 11/27/2011 at 8:07pm - misc - by wow - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out my wife has been bribing my daughter to keep quiet about her affair with my boss. That would explain the iPhone 4S, the $500 shoes, the $200 purse, and the professional $300 haircut. They told me it was because she had straight A's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37180) - you deserved it (2484)
On 11/20/2011 at 9:05pm - kids - by brokeandalone (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I found out that a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser will erase the paint right off your wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16962) - you deserved it (4467)
On 11/20/2011 at 7:29pm - misc - by jazzybell - United States (Michigan)
Today, I found out that a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser will erase the paint right off your wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16962) - you deserved it (4467)
On 11/20/2011 at 7:29pm - misc - by jazzybell - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went camping and shared a tent with this girl I have been sleeping with here and there for a year. To impress her, I popped a certain male enhancement supplement. Thirty minutes later I found out she was on her period. What a long night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9013) - you deserved it (34384)
On 11/20/2011 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by johnnydoe6969 - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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