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palahniukpaul

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palahniukpaul

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1461
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About palahniukpaul : Um... HI!!!!

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palahniukpaul's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML

#18814667
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26120) - you deserved it (3291) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/15/2012 at 1:14pm - love - by Vitriol (man) - France

Today, I am 8 weeks pregnant. I have debilitating 'morning sickness' all day. And now I get to add peeing my pants every time I throw up. FML

#18734137
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26779) - you deserved it (4517)

On 01/07/2012 at 9:07am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up after a long night of partying. When I went to wash off my face, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My missing tooth was almost enough to make me overlook my black eye. FML

#18674490
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10617) - you deserved it (28958)

On 01/01/2012 at 12:19pm - misc - by msnewyearseve - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend decided to raid my games collection and try her hand at Amnesia: The Dark Descent. Two hours later, despite my best attempts to make her stop shrieking like a dying crackhead every two minutes, two cops showed up at the door with our neighbors in tow. FML

#18657725
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22617) - you deserved it (2572)

On 12/30/2011 at 9:43pm - misc - by axel519 (man) - United States

Today, while having sex, I told my boyfriend that I love him. I could feel him go soft inside me. FML

#18657042
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43069) - you deserved it (9123)

On 12/30/2011 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by KrissyBearr - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my family. The night consisted of my sisters hiding in a tent and chasing us around in it, my parents singing songs from 'The Lion King' opera-style and throwing cheese at him. Pretty sure he's freaked out. FML

#18650275
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27207) - you deserved it (3852)

On 12/30/2011 at 1:35am - love - by wellthatsawkward (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was taking people's orders at the drive-thru. I was confused as to why people were screaming their orders at me, until one of my managers handed me a paper that he'd found taped to the menu, saying "speak loudly speaker isn't working properly." Punkd. FML

#18649632
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23617) - you deserved it (2866)

On 12/30/2011 at 12:38am - work - by Ashton Sprunger - United States

Today, my separation anxiety got so intense, I found myself smelling my boyfriend's pillow. FML

#18566755
149 comments

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML

#18513189
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19974) - you deserved it (25163)

On 12/14/2011 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I photocopied several hundred pages of my school's textbook because I didn't want to buy it. My school later says to just buy it and it will be reimbursed. FML

#18399255
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8785) - you deserved it (29231)

On 11/30/2011 at 10:52pm - work - by ChrisD2V - United States (California)

Today, my mom went through my textbook and sharpied everything that could be "pornographic." It's a high-school biology textbook. FML

#18369717
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28138) - you deserved it (1671)

On 11/27/2011 at 8:07pm - misc - by wow - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my wife has been bribing my daughter to keep quiet about her affair with my boss. That would explain the iPhone 4S, the $500 shoes, the $200 purse, and the professional $300 haircut. They told me it was because she had straight A's. FML

#18302011
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44651) - you deserved it (3467)

On 11/20/2011 at 9:05pm - kids - by brokeandalone (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser will erase the paint right off your wall. FML

#18301043
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22135) - you deserved it (5968)

On 11/20/2011 at 7:29pm - misc - by jazzybell - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser will erase the paint right off your wall. FML

#18301043
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22135) - you deserved it (5968)

On 11/20/2011 at 7:29pm - misc - by jazzybell - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went camping and shared a tent with this girl I have been sleeping with here and there for a year. To impress her, I popped a certain male enhancement supplement. Thirty minutes later I found out she was on her period. What a long night. FML

#18300773
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11223) - you deserved it (40552)

On 11/20/2011 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by johnnydoe6969 - United States



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