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palahniukpaul

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palahniukpaul

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1845
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About palahniukpaul : Um... HI!!!!

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palahniukpaul's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband told me that occasionally I pick my nose while I sleep. I didn't believe him so he showed me the video he took of it. He wants to post it on Facebook. FML

#19995801
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24188) - you deserved it (3118)

On 08/01/2012 at 1:44am - misc - by Emily (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I continued my habit of saying, "It smells like lung cancer over here" any time I see a smoker. This guy turned out to be an amateur MMA fighter, and I was his "workout" for the day. I guess his lungs are doing fine. FML

Today, the man I went on a date with a few weeks ago finally called me back. I was his "one phone call" from prison. FML

#19980162
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25393) - you deserved it (2236)

On 07/23/2012 at 7:06pm - love - by Rose (woman) - United States

Today, I tripped and fell on the sidewalk. As I did, a car that was passing by stopped, made a U-turn, and then came back so the people inside could laugh at me. When they were done taunting me, they made another U-turn and continued back in their original direction. FML

#19806668
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26577) - you deserved it (2601)

On 06/18/2012 at 10:39am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to take Viagra. FML

#19671113
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36364) - you deserved it (7487)

On 05/24/2012 at 1:42am - intimacy - by aaah. (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I went into my classroom to find a bag of shit on my desk with a note saying, "Thanks for failing me b*tch!" FML

#19670939
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25387) - you deserved it (7272)

On 05/24/2012 at 12:59am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized I have more in common with a cantaloupe than I do with my boyfriend. FML

#19562059
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22280) - you deserved it (4914)

On 05/02/2012 at 2:16am - love - by muddled (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dad came to pick me up. It would have been nicer if he'd had his clothes on. FML

#19476340
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25094) - you deserved it (1865)

On 04/16/2012 at 12:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

#19297004
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30403) - you deserved it (4879)

On 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm - love - by Brian - United States (Washington)

Today, my husband sat me down on the couch so he could share some "awesome" news with me. He excitedly declared that he and his idiot drinking buddies are planning on running a real-life Fight Club out of our basement. FML

#19247748
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26242) - you deserved it (3097)

On 03/09/2012 at 9:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my desk is perfectly placed so that my boss can shoot me with a Nerf gun from his office. FML

#19118212
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30100) - you deserved it (3842)

On 02/19/2012 at 9:42pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML

Today, I had a package stolen from my porch. It was a shipment of customized M and M's for a Valentine's gift. I spent $60 for someone else to eat "I love you" messages. FML

#19016229
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27797) - you deserved it (3842)

On 02/07/2012 at 3:11am - money - by kirstiexoxo (woman) - United States

Today, I walked into the house only to be greeted by the strongest smell of dung. I asked my mom about it, and it turns out she's been airing these strange herbs throughout the house, most of which are in my bedroom. She won't let me open the window. FML

#19015871
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22093) - you deserved it (1995)

On 02/07/2012 at 1:38am - misc - by whyme (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, it's my birthday. The only thing I got was a coupon for a couples acupuncture session from my sister. I'm single and have an extreme fear of needles. FML

#18886629
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28471) - you deserved it (2479)

On 01/23/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by michellenKG (woman) - United States (California)



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