palahniukpaul

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palahniukpaul

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1932
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About palahniukpaul : Um... HI!!!!

palahniukpaul's page activity

Visits<b>10220706</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 10:16am<b>ExpectNeo</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 10:05am<b>lilpurplekat</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 12:42am<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 2:01am<b>HorrorJr</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 1:21am<b>CzaneWinters</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 4:09pm<b>imerichello</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 10:32pm<b>liv1222</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 4:21pm<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 4:04pm<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 2:38pm<b>imeanyeahok</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 1:31am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 9:22pm<b>Siloide</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 4:11am<b>Krastrolytric</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 6:27am<b>cardshark</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 8:09pm<b>Mental_1456</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 1:40am<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 1:33am<b>ShortStop19</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 1:48pm

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palahniukpaul's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband told me that occasionally I pick my nose while I sleep. I didn't believe him so he showed me the video he took of it. He wants to post it on Facebook. FML

by Emily / 08/01/2012 at 1:44am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I continued my habit of saying, "It smells like lung cancer over here" any time I see a smoker. This guy turned out to be an amateur MMA fighter, and I was his "workout" for the day. I guess his lungs are doing fine. FML

by xd3box / 07/25/2012 at 12:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, the man I went on a date with a few weeks ago finally called me back. I was his "one phone call" from prison. FML

by Rose / 07/23/2012 at 7:06pm / United States / Love

Today, I tripped and fell on the sidewalk. As I did, a car that was passing by stopped, made a U-turn, and then came back so the people inside could laugh at me. When they were done taunting me, they made another U-turn and continued back in their original direction. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2012 at 10:39am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to take Viagra. FML

by aaah. / 05/24/2012 at 1:42am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy

Today, I went into my classroom to find a bag of shit on my desk with a note saying, "Thanks for failing me b*tch!" FML

by Anonymous / 05/24/2012 at 12:59am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I realized I have more in common with a cantaloupe than I do with my boyfriend. FML

by muddled / 05/02/2012 at 2:16am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, my dad came to pick me up. It would have been nicer if he'd had his clothes on. FML

by Anonymous / 04/16/2012 at 12:03am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

by Brian / 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, my husband sat me down on the couch so he could share some "awesome" news with me. He excitedly declared that he and his idiot drinking buddies are planning on running a real-life Fight Club out of our basement. FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2012 at 9:05pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my desk is perfectly placed so that my boss can shoot me with a Nerf gun from his office. FML

by Anonymous / 02/19/2012 at 9:42pm / United States / Work

Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML

Today, I had a package stolen from my porch. It was a shipment of customized M and M's for a Valentine's gift. I spent $60 for someone else to eat "I love you" messages. FML

by kirstiexoxo / 02/07/2012 at 3:11am / United States / Money

Today, I walked into the house only to be greeted by the strongest smell of dung. I asked my mom about it, and it turns out she's been airing these strange herbs throughout the house, most of which are in my bedroom. She won't let me open the window. FML

by whyme / 02/07/2012 at 1:38am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's my birthday. The only thing I got was a coupon for a couples acupuncture session from my sister. I'm single and have an extreme fear of needles. FML

by michellenKG / 01/23/2012 at 12:05am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous