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by Emily / 08/01/2012 at 1:44am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I continued my habit of saying, "It smells like lung cancer over here" any time I see a smoker. This guy turned out to be an amateur MMA fighter, and I was his "workout" for the day. I guess his lungs are doing fine. FML
by xd3box / 07/25/2012 at 12:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Health
by Rose / 07/23/2012 at 7:06pm / United States / Love
Today, I tripped and fell on the sidewalk. As I did, a car that was passing by stopped, made a U-turn, and then came back so the people inside could laugh at me. When they were done taunting me, they made another U-turn and continued back in their original direction. FML
by Anonymous / 06/18/2012 at 10:39am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by aaah. / 05/24/2012 at 1:42am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/24/2012 at 12:59am / United States (Texas) / Work
by muddled / 05/02/2012 at 2:16am / United States (Illinois) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/16/2012 at 12:03am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML
by Brian / 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, my husband sat me down on the couch so he could share some "awesome" news with me. He excitedly declared that he and his idiot drinking buddies are planning on running a real-life Fight Club out of our basement. FML
by Anonymous / 03/09/2012 at 9:05pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/19/2012 at 9:42pm / United States / Work
by SpLo0gIeR / 02/13/2012 at 10:30am / United States / Miscellaneous
by kirstiexoxo / 02/07/2012 at 3:11am / United States / Money
Today, I walked into the house only to be greeted by the strongest smell of dung. I asked my mom about it, and it turns out she's been airing these strange herbs throughout the house, most of which are in my bedroom. She won't let me open the window. FML
by whyme / 02/07/2012 at 1:38am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by michellenKG / 01/23/2012 at 12:05am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…