Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

paintedwings12

Online | Search for a member

paintedwings12

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 28 January 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1900
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

paintedwings12's page activity

Visits<b>ScooperScribbles</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 12:18pm<b>LivClaire96</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 12:12am<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 11:34pm<b>ArgentumAurum</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 2:08pm<b>TheCrispyCat</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 1:26am<b>mackdeezy</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 10:29am<b>forizidrizzi</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 1:23pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 9:14pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 2:10pm<b>shivamtrivedi</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 8:35am<b>lexypaige</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 8:10am<b>brookenicolee29</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 11:25am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 4:04am<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 2:07pm<b>NatashaLovesYou</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 7:47pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 5:55pm<b>HVAkicker99</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 12:59am<b>grogers311</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 7:56pm

paintedwings12's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of paintedwings12's badges

paintedwings12's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking to my dorm room while it was snowing heavily. I saw a girl in a wheelchair trying to get up a slippery incline. Being a good person, I asked to help. I'm a pretty weak guy, and I couldn't push her up. She wheeled away crying because she thought she was fat. FML

#20504485
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35197) - you deserved it (5407)

On 02/12/2013 at 11:57pm - misc - by IMadeAHandicappedPersonCry - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I unknowingly bought a house next to a former toxic waste dump. I found out by reading an article in the paper where residents are claiming that they are experiencing cancer and birth defects. FML

#20503049
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29223) - you deserved it (6588)

On 02/11/2013 at 11:18pm - health - by toxic waste - United States (New York)

Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML

#20502122
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29556) - you deserved it (27399)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML

#20500833
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33640) - you deserved it (2631)

On 02/10/2013 at 11:17am - kids - by littlemiss - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my furnace broke down, almost a month after its twenty year warranty expired. It would have been replaced for free. Now I'm going to have to take out a loan to afford the $4,000 replacement. FML

#20500397
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26292) - you deserved it (2295)

On 02/10/2013 at 12:03am - misc - by chillyinside - Canada

Today, I was playing Slender, when I caught a glimpse of the Slenderman. I jumped in my chair, letting rip a huge fart in the process. Nobody heard it, but only because my shrieks of terror drowned out the sound. FML

#20498426
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21706) - you deserved it (8434)

On 02/08/2013 at 4:59pm - misc - by theydidsmellitthough (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I was at an estate sale of my neighbor who recently passed. I recognized many items for sale that I had ordered or won on eBay from the past 8 years. Turns out the little old lady had been stealing my mail for close to a decade. FML

#20496903
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37803) - you deserved it (3407)

On 02/07/2013 at 10:24am - misc - by GarageSallin (man) -

Today, I hurt my back while exercising. I can't bend over or lift my arms above my head without intense pain. My husband, however, finds my situation hilarious and has moved everything I use frequently to either the floor or high shelf. He giggles every time I try to retrieve anything. FML

Today, my kitten made it snow inside my house using a 12-pack of toilet paper. FML

#20495653
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24499) - you deserved it (4800)

On 02/06/2013 at 1:00pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML

#20495511
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30284) - you deserved it (4343)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:59am - animals - by DogLover (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my dad opened a Chinese fortune cookie that read, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." Now he won't stop calling me Experience. FML

#20494543
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35658) - you deserved it (3154)

On 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm - misc - by Experience (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after 2 weeks of not having sex, my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML

#20490079
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38142) - you deserved it (8950)

On 02/02/2013 at 9:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while trucking, I got stuck in traffic on a congested highway. After 15 minutes of mind-numbing boredom, I glanced down at the car beside me, only to witness the driver changing her tampon and flicking the old one onto the highway. I can't unsee this. FML

#20489402
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58150) - you deserved it (3530)

On 02/01/2013 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by thoughtidseenitall (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my grandmother walked in on me watching porn on my computer. She looked at the woman on the screen and said, "I used to have tits like that, but look what having 7 kids did to them." Now I'm scarred for life. FML

#20488708
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23293) - you deserved it (36050)

On 02/01/2013 at 6:05am - intimacy - by Master Debater (man) - Australia

Today, my dad and his new wife got their wedding pictures done. Out of over 150 pictures, I was only in one. The family dog was in all of them. In the one picture of me, I was holding the dog's leash while he took a dump. FML

#20486408
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35859) - you deserved it (2539)

On 01/30/2013 at 4:05pm - animals - by puppydrama - United States



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: