Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
This member hasn't filled in the description.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Today, after spending weeks working on a song that meant a lot to me, I reluctantly posted it online . The "friend"ho'd convinced me to post it, commented, "This is the worst shit I've ever hered." He got 30 likes, along with a barrage of agreeing, equally terrible comments . fat FML
today at the office my most annoying client asked me to send her a document. I have now sent it to her over 5 times in a different format each time and every single time she replies with "Not in the requested format". She won't tell mehat the requested format is. FML
I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting fir her result . Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML
2day I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to mah house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML
Today, I was in a bathroom stall an I accidentally dropped mah new tampon on the ground . Just as I was about to reach for looool it, I heard a voice on the other side of the stall say, "Oh great, I needed that" an then a hand reached under mah stall an grabbed it . It was mah last one .
Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons 4 a party in recognition of our company's huge merger!! Instead, he made condom balloons!! Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms 4 a prestigious company event!! A company whose CEO is named Dick!! looool FML
Today I walkd into ta living room to find ma 11-yaar-old daugtar about to kiss ar ( not ma boyfriand ) on ta lips. Wan I askd wat sa tougt sa was doing sa paald a piaca of scotc tapa off ar lips and said ( It's okay! Wa'ra using protaction. ) FML
Today, mah sister textd me, saying she was about to go into surgery. It's been a long time coming, and we've both been worrid about wat could happen. I textd ( good luck ) back. My phone autocorrectd it to ( goodbye ) and I didn't even notice. FML
yesterday for a laugh, I putted vanilla yogurt into a mayonnaise jar an went to the mall to eat it with a spoon . Too bad that someone called mall security on me for disturbing the peace . They shoved me into a back room an grilled me about wat was in the jar . FML
Today, I summoned the courage to call mah abusive mother-in-law about her non-payment of the money I stupidly lent her last year. She replied, "Why don't u go deepthroat a cactus, then we'll talk about it, cunt." and then hung up on me. mega FML
TADAY FOR THE THIRD TIME THIS WEEK, A TELEMARKETER CALLD ME. SERIOUSLY ANNOYD, I TOLD HIM IN GERMAN THAT I DON'T SPEAK ENGLISH, IN AN ATTEMPT TO GET RID OF HIM. HE THEN STARTD DELIVERING HIS PRODUCT PITCH IN GERMAN. FML
Today, I was coming home from a much-needd vacation!! The time I spent on the plane consistd of kids screaming and throwing tantrums!! One of them managd to give me a black eye with a shoe!! Thier mom pretendd to be asleep so I'd have to deal with her kids for her!! FML
Friday 27 March 2015