paintedwings12

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paintedwings12

8Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 28 January 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6270
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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paintedwings12's page activity

Visits<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 6:32am<b>eyepuppy</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 4:33pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 10:22pm<b>Turtle35</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 7:48pm<b>chr1sF</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 8:13pm<b>mattmillabruh</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 2:12am<b>ratman775</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 9:52am<b>Red_Brooks</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 5:22pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 2:43am<b>ZacPalmer</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 11:17pm<b>annequenneville</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 8:53am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 4:14pm<b>maro300</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 10:49pm<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 12:02pm<b>Holijust</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 11:47am<b>NikhilBajaj</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 1:45am<b>xKG33x</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 10:48am<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 1:49pm

Fucked!<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 4:22am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 8:44am<b>NikhilBajaj</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 4:11am<b>SteamyPenguin</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 4:52pm<b>boultzboi</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 10:20pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 1:16pm<b>snarkytruth</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 11:43am<b>jake_braves</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 5:42pm

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paintedwings12's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up from a drunken one-night-stand. The person I slept with turned out to be heavily pregnant. She tried to convince me that I am the father and that I passed out for 7 months. FML

by clodius / 11/20/2013 at 1:25pm / United Kingdom (North Lanarkshire) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML

by Anonymous / 11/16/2013 at 2:31pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML

by mummer11 / 11/15/2013 at 12:49pm / Ireland / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad walked in on me jacking off. He swore and told me to lock my door next time. Later on I heard him snickering and telling my mom that I jack off "real weird." FML

by jack s.b. / 11/14/2013 at 5:15pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I got a call from my husband asking me to bail him out from jail. He was arrested after being caught having sex with a waitress in a restaurant bathroom. FML

by f / 11/09/2013 at 6:30pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I walked into my dorm room, only to witness my roommate shaving her vag over my trashcan. FML

by JN5SLK / 11/08/2013 at 5:29pm / United States (Utah) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via a text message consisting solely of emoticons. FML

by probablydodgedabullet / 11/08/2013 at 6:30am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

by regretsteachinghighschool / 11/05/2013 at 8:22am / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, my boyfriend left me for another girl. My dad's reaction to the news and my tears was to say, "Aww. Gonna write a song about it, Taylor Swift?" FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2013 at 4:23pm / Ireland / Miscellaneous

Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML

by nl4 / 11/01/2013 at 7:55pm / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Health

Today, it's the fourth day of my new diet. I told my friends and family to watch me every time I eat to make sure it's healthy. I got so desperate that I hid some chocolates in my pocket then scarfed them down while pooping. FML

by Anonymous / 11/01/2013 at 2:52pm / United States (Kansas) / Health

Today, I rushed to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologized for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He responded with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands." FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2013 at 2:57pm / Zimbabwe / Health

Today, the tickets I bought for my favorite band's concert arrived in the mail. The concert was last night. FML

by MsConfusedd / 10/27/2013 at 12:11am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I witnessed my boyfriend taking a dump in the litter box. He said he wanted to know what it felt like for the cat. FML

by Anonymous / 10/23/2013 at 12:04pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals

Today, my body-building addiction hit a whole new level when I begged my friend to sell me her breast milk. FML

by DOCMONROE / 09/30/2013 at 6:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.