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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 28 January 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3729
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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paintedwings12's page activity

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paintedwings12's favorite FMLs

Today, I downloaded a movie for my mom that she really likes, "When Harry Met Sally". When she loaded the file, we soon found out it was actually some kind of obscure porno billed as "When Harry Wet Sally". FML


I agree, your life sucks (48590) - you deserved it (9526)

On 01/05/2014 at 6:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend told me that sometimes my nipples taste like onions. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50259) - you deserved it (10128)

On 01/01/2014 at 8:26am - intimacy - by Snufflopagus (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was watching TV with my husband, and he started getting frisky. When the commercial break started, we started having sex. When he came, there were still two commercials left before the show resumed. FML


I agree, your life sucks (56860) - you deserved it (6570)

On 12/31/2013 at 4:19pm - intimacy - by erjazo (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I caught my neighbor picking my flowers out of the planter on my porch. When I said something to her, she ran off and knocked over the planter, smashing it. She is now acting like nothing happened. FML

Today, I took an extra xanax to help with my anxiety, then went to sleep. I guess it was probably too much, because I woke up a few hours later, freaking out and panicking because I was convinced I was a bee trapped in a human body. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43365) - you deserved it (10185)

On 12/28/2013 at 4:19pm - health - by beemove (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I discovered the real reason my husband was distraught last week and has been acting moodily ever since. An attractive girl he was secretly having sex chats with online confessed to him that "she" was actually a guy. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47629) - you deserved it (4367)

On 12/27/2013 at 4:49pm - love - by -__- (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I received a pair of earrings, a necklace, and some rings as a Christmas gift from my grandma. This would have been nice if I weren't a guy. This is her way of mocking me for wearing what she calls "girl colors", such as white. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40924) - you deserved it (3213)

On 12/25/2013 at 12:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, a man wearing a Santa hat stumbled out of a bar, staggered over to my car, and vomited through the open window into my lap. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41484) - you deserved it (4007)

On 12/20/2013 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, while on my way to work, an elderly woman complimented me on my breast cancer scarf. I explained that my grandmother made one for all her female grandchildren before passing away two years ago. The woman then went psycho and almost strangled me in an attempt to steal it. FML

Today, my neighbor put up an electric fence to keep my five-year-old son out. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39917) - you deserved it (13728)

On 12/04/2013 at 5:29pm - kids - by Awkward - United States (Washington)

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML


I agree, your life sucks (60787) - you deserved it (6636)

On 11/29/2013 at 6:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43141) - you deserved it (44538)

On 11/28/2013 at 9:05pm - misc - by OuchImAMoron (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I met the guy I've been talking to online for two years in real life. He tried to convince me to have his children because they would be average height. He's a midget and I'm 6'2". This is the most romantic thing anybody has ever said to me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46986) - you deserved it (5722)

On 11/28/2013 at 11:34am - love - by heightdifference (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was quite drunk so I decided to take a piss kneeling down, so I wouldn't miss. I dropped the toilet seat on my little soldier. FML

Today, my father took revenge on me for bankrupting him in a game of Monopoly. His revenge consisted of having a truckload of sand dumped in my driveway while I was at work. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41192) - you deserved it (3463)

On 11/22/2013 at 3:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

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FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #20
  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

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