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paintedwings12's favorite FMLs
Today, I downloaded a movie for my mom that she really likes, "When Harry Met Sally". When she loaded the file, we soon found out it was actually some kind of obscure porno billed as "When Harry Wet Sally". FML
by Anonymous / 01/05/2014 at 6:48pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by Snufflopagus / 01/01/2014 at 8:26am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, I was watching TV with my husband, and he started getting frisky. When the commercial break started, we started having sex. When he came, there were still two commercials left before the show resumed. FML
by erjazo / 12/31/2013 at 4:19pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I caught my neighbor picking my flowers out of the planter on my porch. When I said something to her, she ran off and knocked over the planter, smashing it. She is now acting like nothing happened. FML
by Caimimi / 12/30/2013 at 10:46am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took an extra xanax to help with my anxiety, then went to sleep. I guess it was probably too much, because I woke up a few hours later, freaking out and panicking because I was convinced I was a bee trapped in a human body. FML
by beemove / 12/28/2013 at 4:19pm / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, I discovered the real reason my husband was distraught last week and has been acting moodily ever since. An attractive girl he was secretly having sex chats with online confessed to him that "she" was actually a guy. FML
by -__- / 12/27/2013 at 4:49pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, I received a pair of earrings, a necklace, and some rings as a Christmas gift from my grandma. This would have been nice if I weren't a guy. This is her way of mocking me for wearing what she calls "girl colors", such as white. FML
by Anonymous / 12/25/2013 at 12:58pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/20/2013 at 5:00pm / United Kingdom (Havering) / Miscellaneous
Today, while on my way to work, an elderly woman complimented me on my breast cancer scarf. I explained that my grandmother made one for all her female grandchildren before passing away two years ago. The woman then went psycho and almost strangled me in an attempt to steal it. FML
by Whackgourd / 12/11/2013 at 1:25pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by Awkward / 12/04/2013 at 5:29pm / United States (Washington) / Kids
by Anonymous / 11/29/2013 at 6:56am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
by OuchImAMoron / 11/28/2013 at 9:05pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I met the guy I've been talking to online for two years in real life. He tried to convince me to have his children because they would be average height. He's a midget and I'm 6'2". This is the most romantic thing anybody has ever said to me. FML
by heightdifference / 11/28/2013 at 11:34am / United States (Tennessee) / Love
by Cian_1 / 11/25/2013 at 6:22am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Health
by Anonymous / 11/22/2013 at 3:51pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I overheard my parents having sex. Trying to be the reasonable person I was, I dismissed it,… Today, my fiancé and I decided to engage in some erotic food play. She covered every region of my… Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden…