Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

paintedwings12

Search for a member

paintedwings12

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 28 January 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3405
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

paintedwings12's page activity

Visits<b>spockadelic</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 2:43am<b>ZacPalmer</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 11:17pm<b>annequenneville</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 8:53am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 4:14pm<b>maro300</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 10:49pm<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 12:02pm<b>Holijust</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 11:47am<b>NikhilBajaj</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 1:45am<b>xKG33x</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 10:48am<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 1:49pm<b>christian1509</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 1:30pm<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 5:30pm<b>wayrpowe3</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 3:29pm<b>omgitsmoe</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 11:56am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 5:12pm<b>ASeeR</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 4:10am<b>theoneandonlybro</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 12:04am<b>Zurg_676</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 10:28am

Fucked!<b>spockadelic</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 8:44am<b>NikhilBajaj</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 4:11am<b>SteamyPenguin</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 4:52pm<b>boultzboi</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 10:20pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 1:16pm<b>snarkytruth</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 11:43am<b>jake_braves</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 5:42pm

paintedwings12's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of paintedwings12's badges

paintedwings12's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to scream for my dad to come help me, after I got my hair caught in a fan while trying to make the Darth Vader voice. FML

#20006198
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9034) - you deserved it (32600)

On 08/06/2012 at 6:08pm - misc - by :$ - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friend showed off her new tattoo, which is supposed to say "bad bitch" in Italian, and I had to point out that it actually says "defective female". Her response was to cuss me out and inform me that I'm no longer part of her social circle. FML

#19824729
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29472) - you deserved it (3352)

On 06/21/2012 at 4:28pm - misc - by tubby (woman) - Sweden (Blekinge Lan)

Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML

#19784207
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14381) - you deserved it (25269)

On 06/13/2012 at 9:17pm - misc - by ww2freak - United States (Virginia)

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML

#19772012
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27593) - you deserved it (3593)

On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I was using a public toilet when someone entered the stall next to mine. Instead of using the facilities, the person in there reached under the stall to steal my bag. Fortunately, I was holding the strap so they couldn't take it. Unfortunately, they decided to take my right shoe instead. FML

Today, as part of my medical anatomy course, I had to give a presentation about an STD and the effects it has on women. The class was comprised almost entirely of girls. I become extremely anxious and accidentally stated "Vaginas are smelly" as my opening statement. FML

#19637447
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15119) - you deserved it (26747)

On 05/17/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my 20-year-old son's external hard-drive stopped working. He's crying on my shoulder now, not because of the movies, porn, work, or music he probably lost, but because of the now irretrievable complete series of Digimon that he'd collected. FML

#19629941
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21538) - you deserved it (3933)

On 05/15/2012 at 11:05pm - misc - by OytoBeAfather (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I would still care for her if she was a vegetable. She informed me that if I was a potato, she would cut me into chips. And fry me. FML

#19459433
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20612) - you deserved it (6426)

On 04/13/2012 at 12:46am - love - by jesifairy - Australia

Today, while driving my car near a farm, I hit a man on the side of the road. I started freaking out and got out of the car to help him. It was then that I found out that I'd hit a scarecrow. FML

#19457431
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20947) - you deserved it (6769)

On 04/12/2012 at 7:53pm - misc - by questionmark707 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I noticed a strange lady following me around in the mall. After a while I began to get creeped out, so I confronted her. Apparently she has to make sure everything she buys is better than what I buy. After a long silence she said, "What? You never noticed me before?" FML

#19404370
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33355) - you deserved it (2212)

On 04/03/2012 at 11:40pm - misc - by Eliza - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML

#19264126
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29255) - you deserved it (6082)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by yamsterr (man) - United States

Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML

#19196549
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9417) - you deserved it (56261) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/01/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by BadIdea - France

Today, my nap was cut short by three bricks flying through my window. FML

#18966714
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25877) - you deserved it (2073)

On 02/01/2012 at 3:22am - misc - by dammit - United States

Today, my wife and I were getting intimate for the first time in several months. Then we heard our son yelling from the other room needing my help. He needed me to scratch his foot because the cat was on his lap and he couldn't reach it. FML

#18930916
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27388) - you deserved it (3898)

On 01/28/2012 at 1:27am - kids - by footscratching - United States



FML's blog

  • RoSaCe's illustrated FML
  • Back to business! Yep, everyone is back from their vacation, unless you're a rich, childfree, lovin' life-type of person who doesn't go on holiday when everybody else does, and can do whatever they…

Friday 4 September 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: