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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 28 January 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3694
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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paintedwings12's page activity

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paintedwings12's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to scream for my dad to come help me, after I got my hair caught in a fan while trying to make the Darth Vader voice. FML


I agree, your life sucks (9173) - you deserved it (33000)

On 08/06/2012 at 6:08pm - misc - by :$ - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friend showed off her new tattoo, which is supposed to say "bad bitch" in Italian, and I had to point out that it actually says "defective female". Her response was to cuss me out and inform me that I'm no longer part of her social circle. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29924) - you deserved it (3402)

On 06/21/2012 at 4:28pm - misc - by tubby (woman) - Sweden (Blekinge Lan)

Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML


I agree, your life sucks (14654) - you deserved it (25634)

On 06/13/2012 at 9:17pm - misc - by ww2freak - United States (Virginia)

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28061) - you deserved it (3636)

On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I was using a public toilet when someone entered the stall next to mine. Instead of using the facilities, the person in there reached under the stall to steal my bag. Fortunately, I was holding the strap so they couldn't take it. Unfortunately, they decided to take my right shoe instead. FML

Today, as part of my medical anatomy course, I had to give a presentation about an STD and the effects it has on women. The class was comprised almost entirely of girls. I become extremely anxious and accidentally stated "Vaginas are smelly" as my opening statement. FML


I agree, your life sucks (15502) - you deserved it (27264)

On 05/17/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my 20-year-old son's external hard-drive stopped working. He's crying on my shoulder now, not because of the movies, porn, work, or music he probably lost, but because of the now irretrievable complete series of Digimon that he'd collected. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21931) - you deserved it (3986)

On 05/15/2012 at 11:05pm - misc - by OytoBeAfather (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I would still care for her if she was a vegetable. She informed me that if I was a potato, she would cut me into chips. And fry me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23613) - you deserved it (6858)

On 04/13/2012 at 12:46am - love - by jesifairy - Australia

Today, while driving my car near a farm, I hit a man on the side of the road. I started freaking out and got out of the car to help him. It was then that I found out that I'd hit a scarecrow. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21183) - you deserved it (6823)

On 04/12/2012 at 7:53pm - misc - by questionmark707 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I noticed a strange lady following me around in the mall. After a while I began to get creeped out, so I confronted her. Apparently she has to make sure everything she buys is better than what I buy. After a long silence she said, "What? You never noticed me before?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (33898) - you deserved it (2245)

On 04/03/2012 at 11:40pm - misc - by Eliza - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML


I agree, your life sucks (31422) - you deserved it (6370)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by yamsterr (man) - United States

Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML


I agree, your life sucks (9567) - you deserved it (56836) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/01/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by BadIdea - France

Today, my nap was cut short by three bricks flying through my window. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28142) - you deserved it (2258)

On 02/01/2012 at 3:22am - misc - by dammit - United States

Today, my wife and I were getting intimate for the first time in several months. Then we heard our son yelling from the other room needing my help. He needed me to scratch his foot because the cat was on his lap and he couldn't reach it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30267) - you deserved it (4238)

On 01/28/2012 at 1:27am - kids - by footscratching - United States

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Tuesday 24 November 2015

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