Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

paintedwings12

Search for a member

paintedwings12
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 28 January 1994 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 1094
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

paintedwings12's last visitors

shivamtrivedilexypaigebrookenicolee29Wizardoaha_awkward_NatashaLovesYou10nachoman10PerSueTwo513HVAkicker99grogers311Broadway_Vayne

paintedwings12's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of paintedwings12's badges

paintedwings12's favorite FMLs

Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML

#17128085
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33179) - you deserved it (8187)

On 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML

#17109395
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18193) - you deserved it (44710)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:14pm - work - by sbutler (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my boyfriend his shirt and pants did not match and that he should change for dinner. All my belongings are now on the sidewalk. FML

#17089310
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23375) - you deserved it (36091)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:40am - love - by whyme - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739
428 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66625) - you deserved it (6939)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my father spent half an hour trying to convert my cat to Christianity. He has already done this with my other two cats. He's completely serious and thinks they are born-again Christians. FML

#17072330
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27739) - you deserved it (2605)

On 07/11/2011 at 10:15pm - animals - by CatOwner (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to sift through hundreds of pages of legal documents. They were all written in Comic Sans font. FML

#16984657
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28391) - you deserved it (3063)

On 07/05/2011 at 10:04am - work - by chawlay (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was using the restroom when a little girl tried to open my stall. It was locked, so she slid under the door and tried to have a conversation with me while I was pooping. FML

#16767931
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36094) - you deserved it (3158)

On 06/20/2011 at 6:42pm - misc - by shyshy96679 - United States

Today, I made the long drive to work, got out of the car, and realised that I'd forgotten to put shoes on before I left the house. FML

#16715265
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13331) - you deserved it (27670)

On 06/17/2011 at 5:24pm - misc - by Hannah - Ireland (Sligo)

Today, I was shopping for clothes. I thought this guy was a mannequin because he was standing perfectly still. I poked him and he screamed like a girl. FML

#16464729
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12715) - you deserved it (30606)

On 06/02/2011 at 6:05am - misc - by ohcrap - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the doctor for a sore throat. The doctor wasn't wearing any shoes. He said that he doesn't believe in pharmaceuticals and that it's 'all about vitamins', and he gave me a flyer for a vitamin mail order company. Then he showed me photos of his holidays. FML

#16232810
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27277) - you deserved it (3663)

On 05/18/2011 at 12:38am - health - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML

#16126147
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57561) - you deserved it (4485)

On 05/11/2011 at 1:17am - intimacy - by Chels (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML

#16101317
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38717) - you deserved it (16719)

On 05/09/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by coldwetnose (woman) - United States

Today, my wife bought $80 worth of Glee songs on iTunes. FML

#15940298
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44872) - you deserved it (7757)

On 04/26/2011 at 9:20pm - money - by Chad - United States

Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML

#15693395
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10880) - you deserved it (47088)

On 04/08/2011 at 11:30am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML

#15630869
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38507) - you deserved it (4003)

On 04/04/2011 at 1:26am - health - by Anonymous -



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: