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paintedwings12

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paintedwings12

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 28 January 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2812
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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paintedwings12's page activity

Visits<b>Markovski</b> - 2 hours ago<b>wayrpowe3</b> - 23 hours ago<b>SteamyPenguin</b> - yesterday at 10:52am<b>michaelm1290</b> - yesterday at 9:00am<b>haylburg</b> - yesterday at 6:14pm<b>MattBenid</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 12:11pm<b>Mons</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 5:50am<b>youngmuller1</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 5:13am<b>SweetIam</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 2:16am<b>ShatteredPulse</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 1:50am<b>dangoldman</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 8:19am<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 12:32am<b>goldfish78</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 5:46pm<b>pratikp03</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 4:09pm<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 2:35pm<b>Leigghhh</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 2:31pm<b>Begiz</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 7:26am<b>muzy</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 6:50pm

Fucked!<b>SteamyPenguin</b> - 19 hours ago<b>boultzboi</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 10:20pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 1:16pm<b>snarkytruth</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 11:43am<b>jake_braves</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 5:42pm

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paintedwings12's favorite FMLs

Today, while at the airport waiting for my flight, I sat down next to a mother and her son. As I pulled out a water bottle, she leaned over to her son and said, "Promise me you will never do what the man next to you just did." I have no idea what the hell I did wrong. FML

Today, I started a new job. I'm now trapped in a small office with a woman who says, "Oh my gravy!" constantly. In response to everything. FML

#20201125
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21449) - you deserved it (1827)

On 12/11/2012 at 9:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I brought a fluorescent tube to the store to make sure I got the correct replacement. Trying to charm the sexy cashier, I waved the tube in the air, saying "I need a new light sabre, there is no force left in this one and the Empire is attacking." Turns out she'd never heard of Star Wars. FML

#20162883
277 comments

Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML

#20161582
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25714) - you deserved it (3786)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while in a pharmacy, I walked over to the shaving cream aisle. I picked up a can to smell it and unknowingly pushed the button, spraying an old guy in front of me. He freaked out and started telling everyone that the ceiling above him was leaking. FML

#20139053
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9396) - you deserved it (14510)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:39pm - misc - by IndianAngel96 - United States (Texas)

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25581) - you deserved it (6604)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, while looking through the camera my boyfriend got me, I found a video of a girl giving him head. After screaming at him about it and breaking up with him, I realized the girl was a drunken me. FML

#20119129
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9904) - you deserved it (60090)

On 10/16/2012 at 1:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I walked into the kitchen at 5 am, to have my 7 and 9 year olds throw a bucket of water on me. To their surprise and horror, I didn't melt. FML

#20116347
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22845) - you deserved it (3077)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:57am - kids - by Nickki - United States

Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML

#20114536
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24995) - you deserved it (5776)

On 10/13/2012 at 2:35am - animals - by afraidtosleep - United States (Texas)

Today, while dog sitting my neighbor's Great Dane, I decided to order pizza. As soon as I received it, the dog stood in the hallway staring at me. As soon as I moved, he ran full force and knocked me into the door, causing me to fall and drop the pizza, which he promptly devoured in front of me. FML

#20083358
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20532) - you deserved it (3024)

On 09/22/2012 at 10:12am - animals - by Grauncho - United States (Illinois)

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

#20079475
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62424) - you deserved it (3309)

On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I learned that I'm expecting twins. A boy and a girl. My husband, upon finding out about this, immediately suggested that we give them Star Wars names. But not Luke and Leia. Oh no. He wants to name them Darth and Vayda. And he is absolutely serious about this. FML

#20068529
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25509) - you deserved it (3820)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:03am - kids - by AGeeksWife (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went out clubbing with a few friends. A cute guy pointed at me from the bar and motioned for me to come over. I was excited and did just that. Turns out he just wanted to ask me if I'd thought about seeing a doctor for my jaundice. No, I just overdid my spray tan. FML

#20055735
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5835) - you deserved it (29112)

On 09/03/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at a job interview. The interviewer spoke to me for a few minutes, then said she would be right back, and left. I was left alone in a room for an hour and a half believing that it was a patience test. They closed the store for the day, leaving me in the interview room. FML

#20040149
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29102) - you deserved it (2165)

On 08/24/2012 at 11:31pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I looked over at the car parked next to me and noticed a very large woman plucking her mustache. She locked eyes with me and kept plucking. After that, every time I looked over, she was still staring. Staring and plucking. Now when I close my eyes, I can still see her. FML

#20012686
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24237) - you deserved it (3088)

On 08/10/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by banana2894 - United States (Oregon)



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