Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

paintedwings12

Search for a member

paintedwings12

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 28 January 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1538
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

paintedwings12's page activity

Visits<b>ArgentumAurum</b> - 9 hours ago<b>TheCrispyCat</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 1:26am<b>mackdeezy</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 10:29am<b>forizidrizzi</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 1:23pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 9:14pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 2:10pm<b>shivamtrivedi</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 8:35am<b>lexypaige</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 8:10am<b>brookenicolee29</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 11:25am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 4:04am<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 2:07pm<b>NatashaLovesYou</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 7:47pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 5:55pm<b>HVAkicker99</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 12:59am<b>grogers311</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 7:56pm<b>thisbeachygirl</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 11:29pm<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 7:01pm<b>az1992</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 4:46am

paintedwings12's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of paintedwings12's badges

paintedwings12's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife and I had a fight, which I thought we resolved. Later, while painting the kitchen, I told her to change into an old shirt she didn't care about. She made a huge show of putting her wedding gown on, veil and all. FML

#20436663
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40801) - you deserved it (5790)

On 01/01/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML

#20434659
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46407) - you deserved it (7038) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/31/2012 at 5:09pm - misc - by aelia_oups - Sent from mobile version

Today, I noticed one of my neighbors has decided to place an old toilet in the middle of their front lawn. Another one has had a kitchen sink in their driveway for a year, and yet another has a sofa in their grass. These are the people who taunt me for just walking my cat outside on a leash. FML

Today, while at the airport waiting for my flight, I sat down next to a mother and her son. As I pulled out a water bottle, she leaned over to her son and said, "Promise me you will never do what the man next to you just did." I have no idea what the hell I did wrong. FML

Today, I started a new job. I'm now trapped in a small office with a woman who says, "Oh my gravy!" constantly. In response to everything. FML

#20201125
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21169) - you deserved it (1811)

On 12/11/2012 at 9:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I brought a fluorescent tube to the store to make sure I got the correct replacement. Trying to charm the sexy cashier, I waved the tube in the air, saying "I need a new light sabre, there is no force left in this one and the Empire is attacking." Turns out she'd never heard of Star Wars. FML

#20162883
273 comments

Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML

#20161582
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24617) - you deserved it (3666)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while in a pharmacy, I walked over to the shaving cream aisle. I picked up a can to smell it and unknowingly pushed the button, spraying an old guy in front of me. He freaked out and started telling everyone that the ceiling above him was leaking. FML

#20139053
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8820) - you deserved it (13499)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:39pm - misc - by IndianAngel96 - United States (Texas)

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24883) - you deserved it (6498)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, while looking through the camera my boyfriend got me, I found a video of a girl giving him head. After screaming at him about it and breaking up with him, I realized the girl was a drunken me. FML

#20119129
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9592) - you deserved it (59123)

On 10/16/2012 at 1:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I walked into the kitchen at 5 am, to have my 7 and 9 year olds throw a bucket of water on me. To their surprise and horror, I didn't melt. FML

#20116347
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22547) - you deserved it (3060)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:57am - kids - by Nickki - United States

Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML

#20114536
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23629) - you deserved it (5598)

On 10/13/2012 at 2:35am - animals - by afraidtosleep - United States (Texas)

Today, while dog sitting my neighbor's Great Dane, I decided to order pizza. As soon as I received it, the dog stood in the hallway staring at me. As soon as I moved, he ran full force and knocked me into the door, causing me to fall and drop the pizza, which he promptly devoured in front of me. FML

#20083358
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20237) - you deserved it (2990)

On 09/22/2012 at 10:12am - animals - by Grauncho - United States (Illinois)

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

#20079475
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59198) - you deserved it (3045)

On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I learned that I'm expecting twins. A boy and a girl. My husband, upon finding out about this, immediately suggested that we give them Star Wars names. But not Luke and Leia. Oh no. He wants to name them Darth and Vayda. And he is absolutely serious about this. FML

#20068529
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23607) - you deserved it (3634)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:03am - kids - by AGeeksWife (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: