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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 28 January 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6483
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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paintedwings12's page activity

Visits<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 6:32am<b>eyepuppy</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 4:33pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 10:22pm<b>Turtle35</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 7:48pm<b>chr1sF</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 8:13pm<b>mattmillabruh</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 2:12am<b>ratman775</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 9:52am<b>Red_Brooks</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 5:22pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 2:43am<b>ZacPalmer</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 11:17pm<b>annequenneville</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 8:53am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 4:14pm<b>maro300</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 10:49pm<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 12:02pm<b>Holijust</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 11:47am<b>NikhilBajaj</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 1:45am<b>xKG33x</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 10:48am<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 1:49pm

Fucked!<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 4:22am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 8:44am<b>NikhilBajaj</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 4:11am<b>SteamyPenguin</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 4:52pm<b>boultzboi</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 10:20pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 1:16pm<b>snarkytruth</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 11:43am<b>jake_braves</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 5:42pm

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paintedwings12's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad and his new wife got their wedding pictures done. Out of over 150 pictures, I was only in one. The family dog was in all of them. In the one picture of me, I was holding the dog's leash while he took a dump. FML

by puppydrama / 01/30/2013 at 4:05pm / United States / Animals

Today, after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship, my girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body with whipped cream. Except, we didn't have any in the fridge, so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of her while fighting the urge to vomit. FML

by yourmainman / 01/28/2013 at 12:03am / Canada / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML

by Anonymous / 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work at a car dealership, a seemingly overzealous customer shook my hand vigorously after we finalized a deal. I didn't think anything of it until a coworker pointed out that he was just trying to make my breasts jiggle. I'm a man. FML

by milkshake / 01/22/2013 at 7:29pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, the police arrived at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boy who looked about 15 hugged me and said, "Hey, mum". I'm only 26 years old and had never seen this boy in my life. FML

by Female / 01/22/2013 at 6:16pm / Australia (Victoria) / Kids

Today, my husband asked me to show him my boob. I began to pull the side of my shirt down when he said, "No, not that one, the big one." FML

by sarah6786 / 01/21/2013 at 9:27pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, after applying for a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire "naturally tan" people. I'm black. FML

by Anonymous / 01/21/2013 at 7:48am / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, after applying for a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire "naturally tan" people. I'm black. FML

by Anonymous / 01/21/2013 at 7:48am / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML

by airbiscuit / 01/21/2013 at 7:36am / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy

Today, while sledding with my daughter, I tried getting her to go down a steeper slope than she's used to. She was worried she'd crash, so I went first to show her how it's done. I lost control halfway down the hill, bailed, and rolled into a tree. My wife has it on video. FML

Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML

by dormeur / 01/18/2013 at 6:39am / Animals

Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML

by Nightmare / 01/15/2013 at 9:41am / Kids

Today, my wife and I had a fight, which I thought we resolved. Later, while painting the kitchen, I told her to change into an old shirt she didn't care about. She made a huge show of putting her wedding gown on, veil and all. FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2013 at 4:33pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML

by aelia_oups / 12/31/2012 at 5:09pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I noticed one of my neighbors has decided to place an old toilet in the middle of their front lawn. Another one has had a kitchen sink in their driveway for a year, and yet another has a sofa in their grass. These are the people who taunt me for just walking my cat outside on a leash. FML

by SApprentice / 12/19/2012 at 12:02am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

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