paintedwings12

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paintedwings12

8Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 28 January 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6893
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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paintedwings12's page activity

Visits<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 6:32am<b>eyepuppy</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 4:33pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 10:22pm<b>Turtle35</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 7:48pm<b>chr1sF</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 8:13pm<b>mattmillabruh</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 2:12am<b>ratman775</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 9:52am<b>Red_Brooks</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 5:22pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 2:43am<b>ZacPalmer</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 11:17pm<b>annequenneville</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 8:53am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 4:14pm<b>maro300</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 10:49pm<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 12:02pm<b>Holijust</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 11:47am<b>NikhilBajaj</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 1:45am<b>xKG33x</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 10:48am<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 1:49pm

Fucked!<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 4:22am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 8:44am<b>NikhilBajaj</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 4:11am<b>SteamyPenguin</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 4:52pm<b>boultzboi</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 10:20pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 1:16pm<b>snarkytruth</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 11:43am<b>jake_braves</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 5:42pm

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paintedwings12's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on vacation, when a very cute guy starting talking to me and asked me what my name was. Overwhelmed and stressed out, I blurted out that I didn't have one. FML

by Boulette / 06/23/2014 at 1:44am / Love

Today, at my first day working at Walmart, a customer asked if we have any egg cookers. I said I wasn't sure, but that I'd be "eggstatic" to go ask for him. The first clue I got to suggest he hated puns was him yelling "Don't get smart with me, boy!" and then threatening to kill me. FML

by fuckmyjob / 06/19/2014 at 4:10pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

by stopinthenameoflove / 06/19/2014 at 10:37am / Ireland (Dublin) / Love

Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML

by Anonymous / 06/14/2014 at 2:42am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Kids

Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2014 at 6:20pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I broke my nose trying to pop a zit. FML

by blanknameisblank / 06/09/2014 at 3:36pm / United States (Georgia) / Health

Today, some alarm, somewhere in my house, is making a low battery noise. I've checked every smoke detector multiple times, and I can't find it. It has been hours. I'm not sure if its still doing it or if the sound has just invaded my brain. FML

by AndrewKeane / 06/09/2014 at 12:26pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my brain decided to go into suicide mode. So far I've managed to open a fridge door into my face, walk balls-first into the corner of a table, and sliced my finger while trying to cut open some thick plastic packaging with scissors. I'll probably be dead by the time this is posted. FML

by FMyBrain / 06/06/2014 at 5:26pm / United States (Alaska) / Health

Today, I was hit in the face by the placenta of a cow that had just given birth. FML

by disturbed / 05/31/2014 at 9:53pm / Ireland / Animals

Today, I asked my grandmother what she looked like when she was young. She casually replied, "I was ugly, sweetie. Just like you." FML

by Anonymous / 03/07/2014 at 1:25pm / Philippines (Quezon City) / Miscellaneous

Today, at the bank where I work, I escorted a very short woman to her safe deposit box in the vault. I left her alone, knowing she could use the phone to call the reception when she was ready to leave. We later realised the phone was too high for her to reach. If glares could kill. FML

by norina / 02/11/2014 at 5:01am / Work

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML

by Goodyear / 01/19/2014 at 10:59pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough, my mom decided to shout, "Yeah! Like a horse!" I want to cry. FML

by DisturbedMan / 01/15/2014 at 5:29pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy

Today, I texted my boyfriend of two years and asked if he wanted to go to ball with me. His response was "The person you are trying to message cancelled their phone service and moved to Mexico. Taco taco burrito." I'll take that as a no. FML

by rollergirl13 / 01/11/2014 at 12:55am / United States (Alaska) / Love

Today, my dog found out how to turn my Xbox off. So whenever he wants attention, guess what he does. FML

by Z3R0G5 / 01/06/2014 at 6:00pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals