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paintedwings12

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paintedwings12

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 28 January 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1908
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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paintedwings12's page activity

Visits<b>ScooperScribbles</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 12:18pm<b>LivClaire96</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 12:12am<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 11:34pm<b>ArgentumAurum</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 2:08pm<b>TheCrispyCat</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 1:26am<b>mackdeezy</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 10:29am<b>forizidrizzi</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 1:23pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 9:14pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 2:10pm<b>shivamtrivedi</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 8:35am<b>lexypaige</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 8:10am<b>brookenicolee29</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 11:25am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 4:04am<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 2:07pm<b>NatashaLovesYou</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 7:47pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 5:55pm<b>HVAkicker99</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 12:59am<b>grogers311</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 7:56pm

paintedwings12's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of paintedwings12's badges

paintedwings12's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

#21180516
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49103) - you deserved it (13682)

On 06/19/2014 at 10:37am - love - by stopinthenameoflove - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my coworker was telling me about his mom, when he asked about mine. I told him that I've never met my mom, because she died during my childbirth. It's a very painful subject for me, but all the same, my coworkers have decided they'll now only address me as "Tyrion". FML

#21178277
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43291) - you deserved it (4109)

On 06/17/2014 at 4:30pm - misc - by the lannisters send their retards - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML

#21174074
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43725) - you deserved it (6289)

On 06/14/2014 at 2:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML

#21171240
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46421) - you deserved it (6986)

On 06/11/2014 at 6:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I broke my nose trying to pop a zit. FML

#21168348
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44616) - you deserved it (20208)

On 06/09/2014 at 3:36pm - health - by blanknameisblank (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, some alarm, somewhere in my house, is making a low battery noise. I've checked every smoke detector multiple times, and I can't find it. It has been hours. I'm not sure if its still doing it or if the sound has just invaded my brain. FML

Today, my brain decided to go into suicide mode. So far I've managed to open a fridge door into my face, walk balls-first into the corner of a table, and sliced my finger while trying to cut open some thick plastic packaging with scissors. I'll probably be dead by the time this is posted. FML

#21165186
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47702) - you deserved it (5518)

On 06/06/2014 at 5:26pm - health - by FMyBrain (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was hit in the face by the placenta of a cow that had just given birth. FML

#21158688
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46684) - you deserved it (5187)

On 05/31/2014 at 9:53pm - animals - by disturbed - Ireland

Today, I asked my grandmother what she looked like when she was young. She casually replied, "I was ugly, sweetie. Just like you." FML

#21080512
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39382) - you deserved it (3984)

On 03/07/2014 at 1:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Philippines (Quezon City)

Today, at the bank where I work, I escorted a very short woman to her safe deposit box in the vault. I left her alone, knowing she could use the phone to call the reception when she was ready to leave. We later realised the phone was too high for her to reach. If glares could kill. FML

#21057082
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41422) - you deserved it (6678) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/11/2014 at 5:01am - work - by norina (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML

#21033383
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56028) - you deserved it (9002)

On 01/19/2014 at 10:59pm - intimacy - by Goodyear (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough, my mom decided to shout, "Yeah! Like a horse!" I want to cry. FML

#21028949
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58365) - you deserved it (5182)

On 01/15/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by DisturbedMan (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I texted my boyfriend of two years and asked if he wanted to go to ball with me. His response was "The person you are trying to message cancelled their phone service and moved to Mexico. Taco taco burrito." I'll take that as a no. FML

#21024175
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45896) - you deserved it (5184)

On 01/11/2014 at 12:55am - love - by rollergirl13 - United States (Alaska)

Today, my dog found out how to turn my Xbox off. So whenever he wants attention, guess what he does. FML

#21019316
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49381) - you deserved it (17592)

On 01/06/2014 at 6:00pm - animals - by Z3R0G5 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I downloaded a movie for my mom that she really likes, "When Harry Met Sally". When she loaded the file, we soon found out it was actually some kind of obscure porno billed as "When Harry Wet Sally". FML

#21018145
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45143) - you deserved it (8980)

On 01/05/2014 at 6:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

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