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paintedwings12

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paintedwings12

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 28 January 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2850
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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paintedwings12's page activity

Visits<b>Zurg_676</b> - 8 hours ago<b>Wizardo</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 4:39pm<b>wayrpowe3</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 1:58pm<b>jake_braves</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 10:23am<b>1221jamw</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 6:09pm<b>Cads1</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 7:50am<b>Markovski</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 10:20am<b>SteamyPenguin</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 10:52am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 9:00am<b>haylburg</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 6:14pm<b>MattBenid</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 12:11pm<b>Mons</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 5:50am<b>youngmuller1</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 5:13am<b>SweetIam</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 2:16am<b>ShatteredPulse</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 1:50am<b>dangoldman</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 8:19am<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 12:32am<b>goldfish78</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 5:46pm

Fucked!<b>SteamyPenguin</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 4:52pm<b>boultzboi</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 10:20pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 1:16pm<b>snarkytruth</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 11:43am<b>jake_braves</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 5:42pm

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paintedwings12's favorite FMLs

Today, my father was playing with my son and his toy animals. He picked one up and said, "What is this? Some kind of African horse?" It was a zebra. FML

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

#21294899
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41515) - you deserved it (3792)

On 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm - kids - by jennabee97 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

#21255419
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42184) - you deserved it (11761)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

#21245090
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38484) - you deserved it (14863)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm - kids - by JackieD (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that the reason my boyfriend hasn't texted me recently is that he'd forgotten he was dating anyone. FML

#21244761
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41769) - you deserved it (4709)

On 08/24/2014 at 11:27pm - love - by angry girlfriend - United States (Indiana)

Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned "The bitch on the pot." FML

#21241016
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43740) - you deserved it (16629)

On 08/19/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43271) - you deserved it (9421) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML

#21226906
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34020) - you deserved it (22613)

On 08/01/2014 at 4:45pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, a new session started for my swimming squad. I walked down to the pool, tripped over a stray equipment bag, and belly-flopped into the pool in front of everyone, fully clothed. I'm the coach. FML

#21225439
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40358) - you deserved it (4663)

On 07/31/2014 at 1:00am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, there are people working in my bathroom. I have the shits. The only place I could think to go was in my cats litter box. I've used it twice and am now contemplating using it a third time. FML

#21220246
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38673) - you deserved it (6642)

On 07/25/2014 at 11:54am - animals - by shewhopoopsinlitterboxes (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML

#21219246
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41694) - you deserved it (21442)

On 07/24/2014 at 11:59am - misc - by FML - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." FML

#21218442
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51359) - you deserved it (11855)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML

#21204913
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48258) - you deserved it (8524)

On 07/10/2014 at 9:34am - love - by oh my fucking god (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

#21201617
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43062) - you deserved it (4310)

On 07/07/2014 at 11:59am - animals - by ADanceWithDavos (woman) - United Kingdom



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