Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

paige_sf

Offline (the 01/25/2014 at 2:51am) | Search for a member

paige_sf

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 19
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

paige_sf's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

paige_sf's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally let a huge one rip while tending to an older patient at the nursing home where I work. The patient passed away shortly thereafter. Coincidence? FML

#21116703
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41497) - you deserved it (6648)

On 04/18/2014 at 9:19pm - work - by Anonymous - Norway (Nordland)

Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML

#21095689
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46930) - you deserved it (11857)

On 03/24/2014 at 11:39pm - misc - by dani (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML

#21083446
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46106) - you deserved it (6770)

On 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

#21081466
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47911) - you deserved it (9536)

On 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm - love - by cunning glassist (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was trying to study for a test when my brother and his friends decided to play the chant game, meaning one person yells something weird and everyone else has to say it back without laughing. All I heard for about two hours was them yelling things like, "DICK NIPPLES." FML

#21069920
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34920) - you deserved it (3278)

On 02/23/2014 at 10:59pm - misc - by DIY560 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up with a strange and itchy feeling in my anus. When I told my boyfriend about it, he started laughing. I still don't know what he did. FML

#21068972
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49443) - you deserved it (5835)

On 02/22/2014 at 11:40pm - intimacy - by dontgothere (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at the mall with a couple of friends when we saw a couple of cute boys. I made eye contact with the cutest one. Flustered, I giggled, only to send a wad of snot flying out of my nose. FML

#21067978
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42232) - you deserved it (7464)

On 02/21/2014 at 9:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was singing while driving through the car park. I blacked out trying to hit a high note, and ended up bashing into another car. FML

#21063366
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22579) - you deserved it (39144)

On 02/17/2014 at 12:43pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I ran out of toilet paper. I yelled from the bathroom for my parents to bring me some toilet paper. My dad slipped one tiny piece of toilet paper under the door and boomed, "THE FINAL TEST." FML

#21058095
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38587) - you deserved it (5128)

On 02/12/2014 at 12:57pm - misc - by airhead2015 (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was Skyping with a guy I'm really into. I'm not supposed to Skype at night, so when I heard my mum coming, I minimized the window. She walked in before I could mute my mic and started bitching me out for flushing my tampons down the toilet. FML

#21057252
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38989) - you deserved it (22775)

On 02/11/2014 at 3:00pm - misc - by FUUUUCK (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

#21054451
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48343) - you deserved it (9513)

On 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was singing in the shower but couldn't hit the higher notes. My wife complained and 2 minutes later she ran a tap causing my shower to go freezing. I shrieked. My wife said my pitch was still wrong. FML

#21048056
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39454) - you deserved it (8045)

On 02/02/2014 at 11:53am - misc - by deargodthepain (man) - United States

Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML

#21044971
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49716) - you deserved it (6231)

On 01/30/2014 at 7:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, to avoid a guy who's been creepily following me around school lately, I ducked into the girl's bathroom. After few minutes, he stuck his head in with his eyes closed and asked if I was done yet. FML

#21021456
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59498) - you deserved it (4349)

On 01/08/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by stalked - United States (Florida)

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

#784043
455 comments

I agree, your life sucks (406438) - you deserved it (66818)

On 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by rebekah (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: