About p8ntballa00 : Name's court. I like paintball, martial arts and Xbox. I'm just another one of those sarcastic kids.
p8ntballa00's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
p8ntballa00's favorite FMLs
Today, I acted like I always do when I'm alone in my seemingly sound-proof apartment. I sang loudly, talked back to the TV, used my vibrator. Later, in the silence of the night, I heard my neighbor next door YAWNING. FML
by Anonymous / 01/14/2011 at 4:26am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I had a small gathering of family and friends over to celebrate my son's baptism. One of my friends happens to be a police officer. The entire event consisted of him arresting three of my family members. Don't worry, he came back to get some cake. FML
by jadehin / 11/07/2010 at 8:09pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by blah blah daddy / 10/02/2010 at 7:08pm / United States (California) / Kids
by lonelyguy321 / 07/27/2010 at 10:43am / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Intimacy
Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML
by Crap / 01/28/2010 at 12:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/31/2009 at 8:04pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my little brother texted me informing me that our father has "become a nudist" since returning home from a month-long trip abroad. I thought he was joking or exaggerating, but when I went over to say hi, the first thing I saw upon walking through the door was my dad's droopy ball sac. FML
by mubaki / 07/24/2009 at 1:07pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Transportation
Today, I had a check-up with my dermatologist. When I took off my pants, she noticed a small mark on my penis and was concerned. I had to inform her that it was not in fact a mole, but a bruise from getting it stuck in a Snapple bottle two days prior to the check-up. FML
by Best-stuf-on-Earth / 07/12/2009 at 3:07am / United States (California) / Health
by Anonymous / 06/18/2009 at 9:05am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was home on leave and having breakfast with my parents and my younger brothers. I guess I got too used to the rougher language around the Army barracks where I'm stationed. At the breakfast table I asked my Mom to "pass me the f***ing butter". FML
by Anonymous / 05/14/2009 at 1:13pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous
Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML
by Tourist / 03/26/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up at three in the morning when two cops busted in the door to my apartment and a frantic voice on my cellphone saying "Sir? Sir? Are you all right? Sir?" Turns out I had been having a nightmare and dreamed I called 911. I actually did. FML
by Miller_Time / 03/18/2009 at 2:45pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML
by mr.palendrome / 03/05/2009 at 9:27pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to get a sports physical at a hospital. My nurse was morbidly obese and unattractive. She told me she would go through the tests listed on the sheet. She did everything, including feeling my genitalia. When it was done, I read over the sheet. Genitalia wasn't a test listed. FML
by TahRah / 02/28/2009 at 4:58pm / United States (Virginia) / Health
Today, my hard drive on my computer crashed with all of my files on it. I took it to my Dad, who is a computer analyst, to see if he could recover anything. The only thing that he could salvage was my illustrious collection of porn. FML
by Noname / 02/24/2009 at 6:57pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy