Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

p8ntballa00

Search for a member

p8ntballa00

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 13 July 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 177
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About p8ntballa00 : Name's court. I like paintball, martial arts and Xbox. I'm just another one of those sarcastic kids.

p8ntballa00's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of p8ntballa00's badges

p8ntballa00's favorite FMLs

Today, I sat in my boss' office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML

#19042299
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8555) - you deserved it (65108)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:33pm - work - by great - United States

Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML

#18749585
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17188) - you deserved it (31251)

On 01/08/2012 at 7:43pm - intimacy - by caught - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to share a car with my dad and stepmother. My stepmother managed to get hammered at lunch and spent the hour-long car trip drunkenly mistaking the heating controls for the radio. FML

#18599124
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18575) - you deserved it (1891)

On 12/24/2011 at 3:04pm - misc - by ambled - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for a while. I shaved my legs and armpits and wore a short dress. It wasn't until I got to the meeting that I noticed I only shaved one of my legs. FML

#18593326
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29021) - you deserved it (15924)

On 12/23/2011 at 10:22pm - love - by bigmistake - United States (Illinois)

Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML

#18540980
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30852) - you deserved it (2395)

On 12/18/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by scammed - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. FML

#18442495
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9872) - you deserved it (67037)

On 12/06/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML

#18135742
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28120) - you deserved it (3317)

On 11/02/2011 at 1:06am - misc - by steve-o - United States

Today, my mom found a new way to get me to clean my room. She piled everything from my floor in front of my wardrobe and padlocked my dresser shut. The best part? She put the key in my room. The worst part? She put over a hundred decoys in there too. FML

#17880889
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10292) - you deserved it (34171)

On 10/01/2011 at 7:45pm - misc - by Kazuya - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I learned what it felt like to get shot in the nuts by an airsoft gun. Thank you, Mom. FML

#17634185
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28970) - you deserved it (4244)

On 09/01/2011 at 6:52am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked out of my house wearing only boxers, only to be greeted by kids with paintball guns. FML

#17436127
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21910) - you deserved it (13495)

On 08/11/2011 at 12:53am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML

#17128085
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34829) - you deserved it (8408)

On 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

#17023204
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35943) - you deserved it (4342)

On 07/08/2011 at 1:23am - misc - by Yoda (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I posted my status on Facebook as "slightly hungover." My grandma commented on it with "liar, you were helping me clean last night." She's right. FML

#16221236
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12985) - you deserved it (63469)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I discovered that my girlfriend can only orgasm when we have sex to gospel music. FML

#15613942
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49292) - you deserved it (5844)

On 04/03/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by cantgetup (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while waiting on a customer at a restaurant, I accidentally asked a midget if she'd like a children's menu. FML

#14866852
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18381) - you deserved it (26192)

On 02/06/2011 at 12:53pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: