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p00p1D14P3R

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  • Number of visits : 276
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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p00p1D14P3R's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when the condom broke. He told me to go put a tampon in to "soak up the kids". How did he graduate? FML

#20186465
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41945) - you deserved it (6608)

On 12/01/2012 at 9:54am - intimacy - by me. - United States

Today, my family and I are sitting in our house while Hurricane Sandy is going on. My grandma is freaking out because she believes it's our recently deceased dog Sandy getting revenge for putting her to sleep and getting a new dog. FML

#20138973
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25935) - you deserved it (2320)

On 10/29/2012 at 5:45pm - animals - by With_Love929 - United States (New York)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, saying I had a lot on my plate. She responded by throwing an empty plate at my windshield. FML

#20138170
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10072) - you deserved it (24512)

On 10/29/2012 at 1:46am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

#20128322
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29665) - you deserved it (4515)

On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

#20068526
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44511) - you deserved it (3886)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie. I opened it, and it said, "The love of your life is sitting across from you". The only thing across from me was an empty chair. FML

#20007961
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31778) - you deserved it (3004)

On 08/07/2012 at 4:13pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, a guy said to me, "I'd really love to see that smile back at my place." Trying to be cute, I asked him if he was single. He replied with, "No, but I am a dentist. I could definitely fix that crossbite." FML

#20003299
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22174) - you deserved it (2951)

On 08/05/2012 at 1:23am - health - by wut (woman) - United States

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML

#19932634
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25413) - you deserved it (2854)

On 07/13/2012 at 1:08pm - kids - by Marjorie (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, on the bus, I caught the eye of this ugly, sweaty girl giving me a death stare through the driver's mirror. I gave her a death stare back. Only then I realized I was staring at myself. FML

#19579357
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10103) - you deserved it (31781)

On 05/05/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by mhm (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

#19561833
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14195) - you deserved it (51218) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire. FML

#19349740
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26575) - you deserved it (2739)

On 03/26/2012 at 5:11am - intimacy - by pmek - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to re-grade a student's assignments because neither he, nor his parents can read "Spanish." I'd written in cursive. FML

#19324505
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27507) - you deserved it (3577)

On 03/22/2012 at 1:13am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, instead of waking up to soft sunlight creeping in the window or the gentle trill of birds, I was awakened by the sound of my dog vomiting all over my bed. FML

#19312851
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21561) - you deserved it (2386)

On 03/20/2012 at 7:57am - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

#19276120
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28891) - you deserved it (18080)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)

Today, my therapist gave me some great self-sufficiency advice. It sounded familiar. When I got home I realized she had been quoting Christina Aguilera songs. For £100 an hour. FML

#19271086
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24607) - you deserved it (3589)

On 03/13/2012 at 1:33pm - health - by PixieWrists - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)



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