oxley642

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oxley642

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 January 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 1164
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About oxley642 : Message me if you'd like

oxley642's page activity

Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 4:58pm<b>TourettesGuyFTW</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 4:02pm<b>neeni88</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 4:52pm<b>Laxoxo224</b> - the 08/18/2013 at 11:09pm<b>olpally</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 10:36pm<b>jonsmith01973</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 5:12pm<b>lspartz</b> - the 07/04/2013 at 11:44am<b>yupitssoph</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 4:02pm

oxley642's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of oxley642's badges

oxley642's favorite FMLs

Today, my sister called me up extremely excited because she found out Flo Rida is from Florida. She's 22. FML

by smh / 06/27/2013 at 7:37pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my cat to the vet. The creepy vet looked me in the eyes and said, "This isn't the only pussy I'll be checking out today." FML

by o_O / 06/23/2013 at 1:26pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I had a threesome. He suggested we have another guy. It ended up devolving into a twosome, and I wasn't part of it. FML

by Anonymous / 06/22/2013 at 2:39am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, my parents took my iPad back to the store and exchanged it for two cheap knock off tablets. Reason being my little brother threatened to run away because I had one and he didn't. I bought the iPad on my own after graduation. They kept the difference in price. FML

by evilmuffinlord / 06/18/2013 at 2:34am / United States (Texas) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

by young grandpa / 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML

by Anonymous / 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm / United States / Holidays

Today, my boyfriend and I talked about our past relationships. He said he broke up with his last girlfriend because she was "too smart" for him, and that he felt better being with someone who "doesn't have too many lights on upstairs, if you know what I mean." FML

by ... / 06/16/2013 at 4:57pm / South Africa (Eastern Cape) / Love

Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML

by Sovekipisse / 06/15/2013 at 6:24pm / France (Pays de la Loire) / Love

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he discovered that if he hits a certain area just right, my leg starts shaking like a dog. Now he won't stop patting my head and saying, "Who's a good girl?!" FML

by woof woof?? / 06/15/2013 at 4:26pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I tried to lift my girlfriend and spin her around like in a Rom-Com. I started the spin, then heard a pop. The pain caused me to yelp and fall to the floor, dropping her on top of me. I dislocated my kneecap trying to be romantic. She only weighs about 90 lbs. FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2013 at 11:13am / United States (Minnesota) / Health

Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2013 at 2:39pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking to the gym when the woman in front of me dropped some cash. I picked it up and tried to get her attention. She saw the money and thought I was trying to pay her to sleep with me. FML

by unknown / 06/12/2013 at 1:33pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, at my wedding, the minister forgot to skip the "does anyone object?" part. My mother stood up and gave a lengthy reason, which caused my future in-laws to start shouting. It turned into a small riot, and no, we're not married now. FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2013 at 12:27pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I went to pick up my 6-year-old son from his friend's house. They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave. So, while I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table. FML

by firestar772 / 06/12/2013 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my co-workers figured out that I was in high school when my husband was in kindergarten. They won't stop calling me a "cougar". FML

by Anonymous / 06/10/2013 at 11:19pm / United States (New York) / Love