Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

owly_dear

Offline (11 hours ago) | Search for a member

owly_dear

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 31 October 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 998
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

owly_dear's page activity

Visits<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 10:42am<b>duckwhacker</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 3:30pm<b>whopper_sr</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 2:52am<b>Roley4498</b> - the 05/27/2013 at 9:18am<b>bigguy52</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 4:48pm

owly_dear's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of owly_dear's badges

owly_dear's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to a text from my manager, saying "Hed's up dude, ur gettin fired tomoz. CEO's pissed. No hard feelins m8". Great. FML

#21287630
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26819) - you deserved it (2127)

On 10/29/2014 at 11:46am - work - by fired tomoz (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I watched as the teenage neighbor girl tried to parallel-park between me and my wife's cars. She was doing pretty well until she backed into mine, got scared, hit the accelerator and ran into my wife's. FML

#21287621
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33211) - you deserved it (2438)

On 10/29/2014 at 11:24am - misc - by carless - United States

Today, I went to a big job interview. As I walked in, I tripped and fell flat on my face. Other highlights include my voice cracking multiple times, sweating profusely and getting uncontrollable nervous giggling. The interviewer eventually stared at me in disbelief and asked if I was high. FML

#21285028
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31633) - you deserved it (4221)

On 10/25/2014 at 2:27pm - work - by not on life, that's for fucking sure (man) - United States

Today, I found out what it's like to drive seven hours home with a woman who just brutally rejected your marriage proposal. FML

#21284911
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38644) - you deserved it (3111)

On 10/25/2014 at 10:10am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was waiting at a traffic light next to an ice cream van. The man in it turned to me and winked, making sexual hand gestures. I felt my childhood die horribly as I watched. FML

#21284616
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31271) - you deserved it (2389)

On 10/24/2014 at 8:30pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I'm horribly out of shape. My arms are sore, almost like I'd been doing heavy lifting yesterday. Nope. It just was from squeezing cupcake icing out of a tube. FML

Today, while reading 1984 on the train, a cute guy around my age and I got into a great a discussion about the book. Just when I thought he might ask for my number, he got up, patted me on the head and said it's so nice that kids my age still took interest in real literature. I'm 25. FML

#21284324
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34426) - you deserved it (2687)

On 10/24/2014 at 9:47am - misc - by anonymous - Austria (Wien)

Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML

#21284275
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33799) - you deserved it (9764)

On 10/24/2014 at 6:54am - intimacy - by too good - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my best friend and I, after years of sexual tension, began to have sex for the first time. Things got heated and he decided to abruptly stand up with me around him. I got so nervous, spazzed out, and now have 37 staples in my head courtesy of his bookshelf. FML

#21284031
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30329) - you deserved it (5233)

On 10/23/2014 at 9:25pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was the weird girl on the city bus who falls asleep then makes a loud, weird noise and wakes herself up. FML

#21284017
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28415) - you deserved it (3848)

On 10/23/2014 at 9:05pm - misc - by pyrogypsy (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my wife got a new best-friend. It's my ex-wife. FML

#21283962
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35539) - you deserved it (3530)

On 10/23/2014 at 7:30pm - love - by max - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked into the kitchen at the exact moment my uncle decided to bend over in short shorts. Apparently, his ballsack decided it needed extra room, because it dangled out of his pant leg. FML

#21283844
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34492) - you deserved it (2703)

On 10/23/2014 at 4:05pm - misc - by Alexismaria - United States

Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job, mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML

#21283795
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33778) - you deserved it (4082)

On 10/23/2014 at 2:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my younger brother helpfully pointed out that I'm the only one in my family of five who is single. He's twelve. FML

#21283583
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32897) - you deserved it (3042)

On 10/23/2014 at 1:18am - love - by 20singleandproudish (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was passing notes in class with my crush. I started to pour my heart out and tell him about how I've liked him for years. I was caught by the teacher. He looked at it, laughed, and tore it up. He then looked at me and said, "I just saved you from years of embarrassment. You're welcome." FML

#21283544
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36304) - you deserved it (9529)

On 10/23/2014 at 12:04am - love - by Rachel - United States (Ohio)



FML's blog

  • On FML, it's Halloween every day
  • As you know, we never pass up the chance to open up a light beer and plunge into the depths of the FML archive to come up with some sort of theme. Most holidays, national or otherwise, are pretty well represented.…

Friday 31 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: