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owly_dear

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owly_dear

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 31 October 1994 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 898
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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owly_dear's page activity

Visits<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 10:42am<b>duckwhacker</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 3:30pm<b>whopper_sr</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 2:52am<b>Roley4498</b> - the 05/27/2013 at 9:18am<b>bigguy52</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 4:48pm

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owly_dear's favorite FMLs

Today, in astronomy class, a kid used Uranus in a hilarious innuendo. I was the only one who laughed. I also happen to be the teacher. FML

#21260699
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6056) - you deserved it (943)

On 09/18/2014 at 3:20pm - misc - by immature - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, my boyfriend convinced my 4-year-old sister that girls don't poop. She won't stop crying and now thinks she's a freak. FML

#21260556
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17757) - you deserved it (1622)

On 09/18/2014 at 9:16am - kids - by Anonymous - Kenya

Today, my girlfriend visited my restaurant with some guy I'd never seen before. She introduced him to me as her "new boyfriend". She was always a cold bitch, but I never saw this coming. I had to serve their food while choking back tears, and I couldn't work up the nerve to spit in it. FML

#21260464
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22993) - you deserved it (2043)

On 09/18/2014 at 3:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

#21260355
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24595) - you deserved it (2679)

On 09/17/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by HappilyNeverAfter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my wife named our son after her ex-lover. FML

#21260166
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24850) - you deserved it (1804)

On 09/17/2014 at 6:10pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML

#21260160
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22890) - you deserved it (2515)

On 09/17/2014 at 5:57pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend admitted that she "probably wasn't even sober" when I asked her out and she said yes. Our almost 2-year relationship is the longest drunken mistake ever. FML

#21260142
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22372) - you deserved it (1929)

On 09/17/2014 at 5:22pm - love - by KayEffEh (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was eating a hot fudge sundae and I complained that the fudge was at the very bottom and I couldn't reach it with my spoon. My husband muttered "Fat girl problems." FML

#21260102
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27579) - you deserved it (8299)

On 09/17/2014 at 4:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend. He said it was because he lived 2 hours away, but I think the ultrasound photos his other girlfriend posted proudly on his Facebook wall are the real reason. FML

#21260092
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31330) - you deserved it (2959)

On 09/17/2014 at 3:48pm - love - by kitkat (woman) - United States

Today, I got up at 4.30am, like I do every morning, and got ready for work. Just as I was about to walk out the door, my flatmate jumped me and beat the snot out of me thinking I was a burglar. Because apparently burglars shower, make toast and clean up before stealing all your shit. FML

#21259933
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30575) - you deserved it (2017)

On 09/17/2014 at 8:18am - misc - by makeyourselfathome (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, in college, we were asked at what age girls tend to become physically attractive. Wrongly thinking the answer was in relation to puberty, I said "Umm... 11 or 12?" Now everyone thinks I'm some kind of pedophile. FML

#21259479
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30335) - you deserved it (6655)

On 09/16/2014 at 2:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband and I broke the news that I'm pregnant. Our 8-year-old son's reactions so far have been crying inconsolably, trying to punch me in the stomach, and swearing that he won't let me give him a brother or sister. FML

#21259449
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29321) - you deserved it (3447)

On 09/16/2014 at 1:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my dad picked me up from school, something he'll be doing while my broken leg heals. He thought it'd be hilarious to arrive early and ask the staff where his "crippled" son was, loudly saying I'd broken my leg in a "masturbation-related accident". FML

#21259401
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32034) - you deserved it (2836)

On 09/16/2014 at 12:18pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I video-chatted with my mom and showed her my new, very short haircut. My dad walked in, took one look at me and said, "I can only attribute this to penis envy," and walked out again. FML

#21259205
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24958) - you deserved it (3647)

On 09/16/2014 at 12:31am - kids - by HeIsKindaRightTho (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I sat in on a university-level physics lecture, listening to my hyped-up co-students approximating the hypothetical situation of the Sun consisting of gerbils. The conversation then continued towards how much better energy/mass ratio the gerbil-sun would have compared to the actual star. FML

#21258867
74 comments


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