Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

owly_dear

Offline (4 hours ago) | Search for a member

owly_dear

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 31 October 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1098
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

owly_dear's page activity

Visits<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 10:42am<b>duckwhacker</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 3:30pm<b>whopper_sr</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 2:52am<b>Roley4498</b> - the 05/27/2013 at 9:18am<b>bigguy52</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 4:48pm

owly_dear's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of owly_dear's badges

owly_dear's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML

#21303901
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13981) - you deserved it (1451)

On 11/22/2014 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Kilkenny)

Today, I had to babysit both my neighbor's 3-year-old daughter and my very pregnant cat. I left the room briefly, only to come back to a traumatized 3-year-old crying in horror as my cat gave birth in front of her. FML

#21303819
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12494) - you deserved it (1453)

On 11/22/2014 at 10:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, on our third date, my date tried to get me drunk and kept trying to touch me up. When I said he was moving too fast, he sighed and soon left. Just minutes later, he posted on Facebook saying "Just got friendzoned -_-". One of his friends commented: "I hate bitches, man." FML

#21303774
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13021) - you deserved it (1404)

On 11/22/2014 at 8:44am - love - by drop dead single (woman) - United States

Today, my coworker and I announced that we are spending our holidays together, because we both have kids. My boss announced he is coming with us. FML

#21303728
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17306) - you deserved it (1937)

On 11/22/2014 at 5:16am - work - by Carnage23 (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I was studying for my Spanish midterm nonstop. After I closed my book, I was so tired that I thought that my cat was asking me questions in Spanish. FML

#21303629
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16743) - you deserved it (1799)

On 11/21/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Studying is for crazy people. - United States (California)

Today, I learned that if life gives you lemons, your sister is going to squeeze them over your face while you take a nap on the couch. FML

#21303546
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17756) - you deserved it (1289)

On 11/21/2014 at 9:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my co-worker threw a rubber mallet at my face, and I broke my finger in the process of saving my face. She then told me to "take it up with HR, bitch". She's the HR manager. FML

#21302927
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26348) - you deserved it (1964)

On 11/20/2014 at 7:29pm - work - by spreadburger - United States (Florida)

Today, I've tried to have a quiet jack off four times, only for my dad to knock on my bedroom door within seconds and say "STOP IT." every single time. Now I'm too paranoid to even function. FML

#21302766
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25645) - you deserved it (6063)

On 11/20/2014 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by fuck fof and die dad (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, my supervisor was watching a video of his son. I heard a voice in the background and asked if it was Elmo. It was his wife. FML

#21302177
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27707) - you deserved it (4674)

On 11/19/2014 at 3:56pm - work - by bookworm - United States (Texas)

Today, I am 11 weeks pregnant and my husband has taken great glee in the fact that his horrible gas is enough to trigger my morning sickness. We're about to go on a long 12 hour drive. FML

#21302111
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27757) - you deserved it (2392)

On 11/19/2014 at 2:04pm - misc - by honeybunny - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend said "You're a real work of art. You know, the abstract kind that no one likes. Anyway, we need to break up." FML

#21302073
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32469) - you deserved it (2842)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:40pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on a date, and I went to put my arm around her, trying to be romantic, but my coordination went straight to hell. Instead of her shoulder, I ended up accidentally grabbing her tit. FML

#21302056
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26543) - you deserved it (6428)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:03pm - love - by oops (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I spent 20 minutes arguing with the class dipshit, trying to convince her that wifi hot-spots are not in fact saunas powered by wifi. FML

#21302021
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26165) - you deserved it (3087)

On 11/19/2014 at 10:09am - misc - by Donutsarelife - United States

Today, I met my sister's fiancé. I would have been happier for her if he hadn't been mine a month ago when I introduced them. FML

#21301904
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34158) - you deserved it (2457)

On 11/19/2014 at 3:27am - love - by MissAggravared - United States (Idaho)

Today, my wife and I decided to try out role playing. She ended up having an anxiety attack when I said she wasn't turning in her homework. FML

#21301827
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29738) - you deserved it (3241)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:27am - intimacy - by jigglypluff (man) - United States (Nebraska)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: