Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

owly_dear

Offline (the 08/06/2015 at 9:11am) | Search for a member

owly_dear

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 31 October 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3961
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

owly_dear's page activity

Visits<b>marshm610</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 1:31pm<b>chr1sF</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 8:17pm<b>christian1509</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 3:36am<b>rookworst</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 9:19am<b>ThePaperDragon</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 2:45pm<b>majoroftheair</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 2:17pm<b>braver7315</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 11:23am<b>thedarkmagician</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 11:45pm<b>pandaboy702</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 10:59pm<b>kingdutchhy</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 8:53am<b>pred8885</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 12:19am<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 5:50pm<b>jsway8</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 10:57pm<b>Chazwell77</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 10:34am<b>A07</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 11:10am<b>badmandilon</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 8:25pm<b>ironhead</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 10:22pm<b>ajo123</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 1:34am

Fucked!<b>marshm610</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 11:58pm<b>clearlyroo440</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 6:08am<b>tralulilulalala</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 9:10pm

owly_dear's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of owly_dear's badges

owly_dear's favorite FMLs

Today, as my mom was getting ready for a date, I told her that I think it's too early for her to date, since she divorced my dad only a week ago. She then said, "Don't worry, I'm only in it for sex." FML

#21430672
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27487) - you deserved it (4162)

On 06/23/2015 at 2:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my grandmother ripped her pants. We all got a big view of her pink thong. FML

#21430623
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24390) - you deserved it (2070)

On 06/23/2015 at 11:57am - misc - by cAPITOLpORN - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, after walking in on my roommate, I found out that pleasuring yourself with a shoe is a thing. It wouldn't have been so bad if the shoe hadn't been mine. FML

#21430531
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30700) - you deserved it (2230)

On 06/23/2015 at 4:07am - intimacy - by UkuleleTime - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to eat dinner with his parents. Everyone wanted me to start the family prayer, and although I hadn't done one in years, I accepted. It went well until I remembered you say "Amen" at the end, not "Uh... Bye." FML

#21430513
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25779) - you deserved it (5617)

On 06/23/2015 at 2:37am - misc - by Arcanin3Boss (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I attended my best friend's wedding. Instead of throwing her bouquet, she turned around and handed it to me. I was the only single lady out of 150 guests. FML

#21430410
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29423) - you deserved it (2467)

On 06/22/2015 at 11:13pm - love - by hairstylistprobs - United States

Today, I discovered that most of my family is homophobic while discussing Orange Is The New Black. I've only come out to my sister. FML

#21430373
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27165) - you deserved it (2662)

On 06/22/2015 at 10:20pm - misc - by imgay - Argentina (Distrito Federal)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML

#21430214
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25824) - you deserved it (4903)

On 06/22/2015 at 4:58pm - health - by oh no (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his friends as his "sex partner." FML

#21430188
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27260) - you deserved it (3229)

On 06/22/2015 at 3:55pm - love - by Partners (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while taking a slow night at my waitressing job, I thought I heard the sound of crying coming from the kitchen. I rushed in, thinking something terrible had happened. Nope, the bus boy was just watching porn on his phone with no headphones. FML

#21429840
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27604) - you deserved it (2181)

On 06/21/2015 at 11:08pm - intimacy - by koanroak - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband let my 8-year-old twins play with handcuffs. I thought my husband was pretending he had lost the key but after 4 hours, he walked in with his head down and said, "I've made a terrible mistake honey." FML

#21429657
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26846) - you deserved it (2388)

On 06/21/2015 at 5:37pm - kids - by hfs palm - United States

Today, I took a nap. My boyfriend took this opportunity to go over to his "beautiful" and "amazing" ex-girlfriend's house to help her clean out her pool. I told him I didn't think that was appropriate. He told me I don't value relationships and didn't come home tonight. FML

#21429410
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25179) - you deserved it (2408)

On 06/21/2015 at 6:16am - love - by bev_rogan - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend murmured his sister's name during sex. Before you say he was thinking of someone else with the same name, I've only ever met one person in our town called Nohemi. FML

#21429316
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32048) - you deserved it (2212)

On 06/21/2015 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML

#21429236
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28325) - you deserved it (4149)

On 06/20/2015 at 9:59pm - love - by hotheadslav - United States (Indiana)

Today, I realized I'm pregnant by a man who won't even accept my Facebook friend request. FML

#21429134
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23630) - you deserved it (19083)

On 06/20/2015 at 4:54pm - misc - by happycow122 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went to a job interview, and my father in law's house. As soon as I got home I went to the bathroom and noticed my bloody pantyliner had fallen out at one of these places. I don't know which one is worse. FML

#21428990
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25175) - you deserved it (2648)

On 06/20/2015 at 10:03am - misc - by organizse - United States (Texas)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: