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owlishes

Offline (yesterday at 8:19am) | Search for a member

owlishes

9Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 684
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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owlishes's page activity

Visits<b>LuxEtTenebris</b> - yesterday at 7:08am<b>khoov19</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 2:23am<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 9:44pm<b>HoboMeth</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 9:08pm<b>Kcoate1</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 2:51am<b>betweenwinds</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 1:14pm<b>pl0xs3rver</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 8:54am<b>DerpAngel</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 5:37pm<b>slick5880</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 12:49pm<b>MRSwick2525</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 9:26am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 8:43am<b>vikky538</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 8:37am<b>C7</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 4:08pm<b>angiemarie96</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 2:30pm<b>missmoschner</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 11:09am<b>Slasher2977</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 5:14pm<b>BlueScales</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 5:13pm<b>Diarrhea_Volcano</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 6:28pm

Fucked!<b>khoov19</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 8:23am<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 3:44am<b>pl0xs3rver</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 2:54pm<b>C7</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 10:08pm<b>Acerhawk</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 11:12pm<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 4:54am<b>ToxicPlant</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 4:22am<b>Gillett</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 8:40pm<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 9:08pm

owlishes's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of owlishes's badges

owlishes's favorite FMLs

Today, my brother said he was cleaning his room. When I walked in, he was giving my cousin a blowjob. FML

#21462259
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23393) - you deserved it (1991)

On 08/29/2015 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, after working 8 hours and immediately packing my house for another 6 hours to prepare for moving, I was extremely exhausted and more than ready to brush my teeth and go to bed. I tiredly brushed my teeth with my mascara. FML

#21461561
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21328) - you deserved it (3771)

On 08/28/2015 at 12:40am - misc - by morethanablondemoment - United States (California)

Today, after months of taking care of my grandma after a surgery, the doctors gave her a clean bill of health and I finally got to sleep in my own bed. She passed away while I was at home. FML

#21458841
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33591) - you deserved it (1555)

On 08/21/2015 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop the toilet seat when I saw a cockroach running around our bathroom. My 5-year-old nephew came in, slapped it to death and said not to be scared, because he'll always protect me. FML

#21458825
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23815) - you deserved it (6115)

On 08/21/2015 at 11:25am - kids - by MyBallsForSaleOnEbay (man) - Malta

Today, at my grandmother's funeral, my senile grandfather kept asking me "Where's granny? I've been looking for her, but I can't find her." FML

#21455960
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31004) - you deserved it (1372)

On 08/14/2015 at 11:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark

Today, my 4-year-old son's daycare called because he kissed a few girls. They explained he can't walk up and kiss little girls. I thought the situation was under control, until I was called an hour later to remove him from the premises for kissing little boys. FML

#21455715
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24282) - you deserved it (2433)

On 08/13/2015 at 7:50pm - kids - by stressedmom36 - United States (Florida)

Today, my psycho ex got into my wedding ceremony and attacked my wife. FML

#21455220
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31775) - you deserved it (2221)

On 08/12/2015 at 1:50pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my doctor told me I'm pregnant. Since we've been trying for several years, I called my husband to tell him the good news. Not long after, my doctor called to inform me there'd been a clerical mix-up and I'm not actually pregnant after all. FML

#21454749
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33272) - you deserved it (1574)

On 08/11/2015 at 11:30am - misc - by DevastatedWoman (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, I'm lying awake at 2 in the morning listening to the police helicopter circle my house yet again. I recently moved near quiet woodland to escape the traffic noise that disturbed my sleep. Quiet woodland where apparently the local criminals play midnight hide-and-seek with the police. FML

Today, I had to take a drugs test at work. Later, I found out it was my fiancé's mother who called our hotline. Her reason: I work till 6 pm, her "baby" should eat before that, but he can't cook, so I should quit my job. He is 35. And he thinks I should apologize for upsetting her at dinner. FML

#21452641
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26856) - you deserved it (2480)

On 08/06/2015 at 7:16am - work - by Dobche (woman) - Bulgaria (Burgas)

Today, I told my son about wet dreams, what they are and how they are normal. Afterwards, he exclaimed, "It's kinda like when I beat off, except I'm asleep! Awesome!" FML

#21451089
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22982) - you deserved it (3199)

On 08/02/2015 at 10:57pm - kids - by BrandonDrapeau - United States (New Jersey)

Today, over the course of three hours, I was burned by our toaster oven, hit in the head by a fridge door, hit my toes on a chair, clipped my hip on a table edge, and had both the washer and dryer lids slam on the same hand. I'm not sure what hurts more, my body or the shame. FML

#21446242
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25033) - you deserved it (3961)

On 07/23/2015 at 10:13pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I watched a young shop assistant try her hardest to flirt with my 20-year-old son. When he continued to be totally oblivious, she outright invited him back to her flat. When he asked, "What for?" a piece of my soul died at how completely I have failed as a father. FML

#21442690
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32554) - you deserved it (4583)

On 07/16/2015 at 6:21pm - kids - by anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, at 3 in the morning, I was getting out of bed to use the bathroom, when my boyfriend grabbed my arm, looked at me wide-eyed and begged, "Don't... They'll take your skin..." He doesn't remember saying it, and now I'm scared shitless to use the bathroom at night. FML

#21439825
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27743) - you deserved it (2387)

On 07/10/2015 at 11:49pm - misc - by Julianapilikusplatosophophes (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mother woke me up by putting a beer on my face. After 15 minutes of her telling me to "just take a sip" and me rejecting it, I finally did just to shut her up. She then yelled at me for giving in to "peer pressure". FML

#21432298
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27182) - you deserved it (2666)

On 06/26/2015 at 12:38pm - misc - by Good Parenting? - United States (Maryland)



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