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owlishes

Offline (the 05/20/2015 at 8:50am) | Search for a member

owlishes

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 531
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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owlishes's page activity

Visits<b>Acerhawk</b> - 6 hours ago<b>BigJoeZD</b> - yesterday at 5:21am<b>pooldude</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 12:45am<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 10:54pm<b>ToxicPlant</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 10:22pm<b>seetei</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 4:45pm<b>Gillett</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 2:40pm<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 3:08pm<b>jryan2</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 8:21am<b>Cads1</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 1:17am<b>LoganGillease</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 6:41pm<b>int15</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 4:19pm<b>3051628</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 10:40pm<b>0XBlazeX0</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 10:27pm<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 11:05pm<b>Tarlachia</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 5:18pm<b>Wutdafuqq</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 11:07pm<b>michaelaranda</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 4:13am

Fucked!<b>Acerhawk</b> - just now<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 4:54am<b>ToxicPlant</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 4:22am<b>Gillett</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 8:40pm<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 9:08pm

owlishes's FML badges

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I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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owlishes's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to slowly explain to my brother that spooning has nothing to do with using a spoon to clean out a woman's vagina after sex. FML

#21410748
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30072) - you deserved it (2303)

On 05/15/2015 at 10:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML

#21410586
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20939) - you deserved it (10110)

On 05/15/2015 at 4:26pm - health - by hedayk - United States (New York)

Today, I had to pick my brother up from work because he broke down crying. I arrived to find that apparently, you can get so stoned that serving a pregnant woman at a fast food joint moves you to tears over the miracle of life. FML

#21409953
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29085) - you deserved it (2196)

On 05/14/2015 at 10:23am - misc - by sistertaxi - Australia

Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML

#21409928
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31400) - you deserved it (6932)

On 05/14/2015 at 8:42am - work - by HiddlePuff - Australia

Today, I realized that my new haircut makes me look like a movie star. Not Scarlett Johansson, no. I look like Lord Farquaad. FML

Today, I kept hearing a child creepily giggling in my living room. I couldn't sleep and got so scared that I started considering hiring an exorcist. Long story short: be careful if you have Bluetooth speakers, because your dickhead neighbor might hack them and start fucking with you. FML

#21401745
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33789) - you deserved it (4516)

On 04/29/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my fiancé freaked when he noticed the tattoo on my wrist, and demanded to know when I got it. It was two years before we even started dating. FML

#21395494
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28113) - you deserved it (2189)

On 04/17/2015 at 11:12pm - love - by pandapantsMD (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after locking myself out of my house, I let myself into my car to wait on someone with a spare key. It took me 15 minutes to realise the house and car key share the same ring. FML

#21390076
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19084) - you deserved it (15433)

On 04/08/2015 at 3:36pm - misc - by losing the plot (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, my mom called 5 times and I didn't pick up due to being in class at college. I was later called to the front desk, where my mom was crying. She said she was worried about me because I didn't say "I love you" to her after she dropped me off at college. FML

#21387594
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31778) - you deserved it (3624)

On 04/04/2015 at 3:32pm - misc - by gooddaydude (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I asked my 5-year-old son how school went today. He sighed and said "Fuck off, dad." I thought kids only became such colossal douchebags in their teens. FML

#21387117
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28918) - you deserved it (5469)

On 04/03/2015 at 5:15pm - kids - by no, YOU raised him (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I went to see my ill granddad in hospital. I saw lots of doctors around his bed, and they pronounced him dead, so I ran out crying. A little later, I found out that my granddad had been moved, and it was a different man in his bed. FML

#21386936
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32073) - you deserved it (3394)

On 04/03/2015 at 9:41am - health - by Ravhi Karia - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, on my day off, I received a call from my boss asking why I wasn't at work yet. After getting dressed and an hour-long train ride later, I got there only to find out that it was an April Fool's prank. I had to take the train back home. FML

#21384991
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26309) - you deserved it (5202)

On 03/31/2015 at 10:15pm - work - by IDontGetPaidEnoughForThisShit (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a really drunk couple staggered into the store I work at. One of them yelled at me, "Hey you! Kid! Tell us where the booze is at!" This would have been funny if these people weren't my parents. FML

#21384902
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26319) - you deserved it (2286)

On 03/31/2015 at 7:32pm - work - by DrunkParents - United States (Montana)

Today, I fell asleep in class... And woke up hour later. My teacher let me sit there till I woke up to see what my face would be like waking up to a new class. FML

#21382364
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25803) - you deserved it (16323)

On 03/27/2015 at 11:27am - misc - by BERNDTOAST - United States (Michigan)

Today, I managed to take an entire shower without realizing my socks were on. I washed my feet. FML

#21382179
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22398) - you deserved it (8745)

On 03/26/2015 at 11:28pm - misc - by comfort_ - United States (Georgia)



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