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owlishes's FML badges
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
owlishes's favorite FMLs
Today, I had to deal with a snobby rich woman who asked me to cure her daughter's "unhealthy obsession" with playing outside instead of watching TV with the rest of the family. She called me a liar when I said playing outside is a normal thing for a 6 year-old child to do. FML
by anonymous / 05/01/2016 at 1:59pm / United States / Work
by ShouldICallYouDaddy / 04/30/2016 at 7:49am / United Kingdom (Lincolnshire) / Intimacy
Today, I got mugged. Trying to be brave, I attacked my mugger, who then broke my nose. Suddenly, I was saved by someone: A 15 year-old goth girl who promptly tackled the mugger to the ground. I'm a 21 year old man. FML
by Anonymous / 04/27/2016 at 1:32pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, my wife's paranoia reached a new level. She spent a half hour fretting over the idea that one of the cleaning ladies at our hotel might have taken a used condom from our room and tried to get pregnant with it. FML
by she won't see a therapist / 04/23/2016 at 12:37am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/22/2016 at 11:26pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by WhoaZombie / 04/18/2016 at 11:06pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals
by Anthony / 04/14/2016 at 7:15pm / France / Intimacy
Today, I joined my grandpa on his morning jog. I didn't last 15 minutes before nearly passing out from exhaustion. He came jogging back home nearly an hour later looking even better than he did when we left. FML
by Anonymous / 04/13/2016 at 12:41pm / United States / Health
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to clean our apartment, and then we went out to grab a bite to eat. When we returned, I found a baby's sock in the middle of the floor. Neither of us have a baby, and nobody we know does either. Now I'm just waiting for the doll-themed nightmares tonight. FML
by Squeepy / 04/09/2016 at 11:45pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 12 and 14 year olds told me they'll be doing whatever they like from now on and there will be no rules or bedtime, otherwise they'll tell their teachers that my husband and I abuse them. Where did I go wrong? FML
by Anonymous / 04/08/2016 at 5:43pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids
Today, nearing the end of my pregnancy, I went to a local pool. While attempting to swim on my stomach, I turned a little to the left, and buoyancy took over and I ended up belly-up and flailing, causing a very large man to then laugh so hard, he choked. FML
by ciammmm / 04/07/2016 at 8:23pm / United States (Arizona) / Health
Today, I was snorkeling when a stingray suddenly appeared when I thought I was just looking at sand. It startled me, so my heel made contact with a sea urchin so that then startled me, and my other foot hit another one. FML
by Stingraybeemonster / 04/07/2016 at 4:51am / Thailand / Miscellaneous
Today, I spent hours putting together a beautifully intricate jigsaw to give to my grandmother, who likes to frame them and hang them on her wall. Just as I was about to finish it, I discovered my dog chewing the last piece. FML
by Anonymous / 04/06/2016 at 4:34am / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Animals
by Anonymous / 04/05/2016 at 4:13pm / Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my boyfriend of 2 years on a family vacation to meet my family for the first time. We all got really drunk and he made out with my dad. This was day one and we don't fly back for another 16 days. FML
by Anonymous / 04/02/2016 at 1:48pm / United States (Oregon) / Holidays