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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
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owlishes's favorite FMLs
by shrek / 08/29/2016 at 6:26am / United States (Tennessee) / Love
by MissMoonpie / 08/27/2016 at 8:21am / Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant) / Love
Today, I saw my new pet fish completely missing the food at the bottom of his tank and sucking up the little rocks instead. My last dog died from eating rocks. I think I'm doomed to have insanely stupid pets. FML
by StupidPets / 08/23/2016 at 11:09pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
Today, at work I did inventory with my boss. He did the top shelves and I did the bottom ones. By the end, my knees were dirty and sore. I went home and my roommate asked me how my day went. I absent-mindedly said, "My boss had me on my knees all day." He hasn't stopped laughing. FML
by inappropes / 08/18/2016 at 5:41pm / United States / Work
Today, my boyfriend came home from a trip early without telling me. When I got to his house and saw his car there, I texted him and said, "Oh you asshole". About five minutes later, I got a text from my boss asking if that text was for him. FML
by DuckyDew / 08/16/2016 at 1:51pm / United States (South Carolina) / Work
Today, I asked out this girl at work who I've had a crush on for a while. She looked oddly familiar, aside from the fact that we worked together. It was almost like we'd met outside of work. Two hours and one Snapchat story later, I realized I'd asked out my best friend's girlfriend. FML
by okaythen / 08/14/2016 at 3:21pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by Ummm / 08/03/2016 at 3:45pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I walked up to my sister's car to give her some money I owed her. She refused to open the window and take back the money. After begging her to open the window, a passer-by mistook me for a beggar and gave me some loose change. FML
by Marmarfarfar / 08/01/2016 at 1:23pm / Canada (Ontario) / Money
Today, my first day on the job, I locked up the office after everyone left and set the alarm. An hour later, my new boss angrily emailed me that I locked him inside the building, setting off the alarm and prompting the entire police department to show up. FML
by mrsimintrouble / 07/29/2016 at 2:01am / United States (California) / Work
by Yocherrypicker / 07/28/2016 at 9:04pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out why my husband doesn't want me to go to the doc. It's not because of the reasonable copay. It's because he has let 3 other women use my insurance to give birth, in the last 4 years. They are all his. FML
by NoDocVisit / 07/26/2016 at 10:27pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, after 6 dentist visits, 2 root canals, and $1,500 that I'll likely have to sell vital organs to pay, the agonizing tooth pain I've had for months is unrelenting. Apparently, shrugging and offering to experimentally yank all my bottom teeth is my smurf-shit of a dentist's actual plan. FML
by aintgotnoteeth / 07/19/2016 at 1:53pm / Health
by DidNotExpectThat / 07/18/2016 at 3:30am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I had to work a double shift as a server with a multi-fractured foot because my boss decided… Today, my best friend of 12 years told me she couldn't attend my wedding. What was so important to… Today, I found my daughters hiding spot. Yeah there was dolls, matchbox cars and coloring markers.…