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outoftown

Offline (the 03/01/2015 at 8:31am) | Search for a member

outoftown

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7460
  • Number of comments : 1580
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About outoftown : Yes, I'm a newbie.
Update: Now, not so new.
Update: I came, I lurked, I did a little commenting. I like it here!

outoftown's page activity

Visits<b>anonymuse</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 3:31pm<b>creeperdevon</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 7:13pm<b>mattzawesome</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 9:08am<b>izkiz</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 1:36pm<b>clairesucks</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 3:05am<b>SoliDSt33L</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 1:24pm<b>iSonia</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 10:15pm<b>soak_25</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 10:15pm<b>Attacksloth</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 11:42am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 6:07pm<b>bardo264</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 3:12pm<b>christinamarie17</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 2:07am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 6:44pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 12:15am<b>dingleberriet</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 8:09am<b>KMoBear</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 5:31am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 2:10pm<b>teotsi</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 9:50am

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outoftown's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML

#19938552
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38802) - you deserved it (4619)

On 07/14/2012 at 8:50pm - intimacy - by checkup (man) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I had to slowly explain to my boss that in some parts of the world, it's currently winter, due to the different hemispheres. He scoffed, accused me of "making shit up," and said that if I took him for a fool again, I'd be looking for a new job. FML

#19938153
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27937) - you deserved it (2130)

On 07/14/2012 at 6:47pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally went to the DMV to replace my lost license. After waiting for almost two hours, I casually rummaged through my purse. Something strange inside the lining caught my eye. It was my license. FML

#19932233
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8619) - you deserved it (22724)

On 07/13/2012 at 11:19am - misc - by HellisLikeTheDMV (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I walked too close to a first-aid kit sticking out of a wall at work, and it cut my arm. Laughing at the irony, I opened it to get a band aid out. It was empty. FML

#19928485
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25228) - you deserved it (2427)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:28pm - work - by Ian Artis - United States

Today, I was running late for an important job interview because I couldn't find my keys. I place the keys on my kitchen counter every day to prevent exactly this type of situation. After few minutes and missing my interview, I finally found my keys, in my hand. FML

#19927965
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9920) - you deserved it (29134)

On 07/12/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I discovered I'd left my coffee on top of my car when it fell through the sun roof whilst I was driving, showering me. FML

#19927767
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12229) - you deserved it (23029)

On 07/12/2012 at 11:17am - misc - by hot coffee - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I tried to trim my dog's nails. After about a half hour of barking, biting, and general freaking out, I gave up and decided to pay someone else to do it. I'm a vet, and do this for a living. FML

#19923772
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21550) - you deserved it (5668)

On 07/11/2012 at 1:54pm - animals - by cutup (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my brother had a party with over 60 people in my basement. It turns out that five different couples had sex under the same comforter. The comforter was mine. FML

#19923012
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31619) - you deserved it (2761)

On 07/11/2012 at 9:29am - intimacy - by Sherry - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend treated me to a surprise romantic dinner, and got me a huge balloon bouquet, a dozen roses, a beautiful card for my birthday. Too bad it's his ex's birthday and not mine. FML

#19921886
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33699) - you deserved it (2346)

On 07/11/2012 at 1:09am - love - by forgottenbday (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I'm having heart surgery. The doc came in, donut in one hand and papers in another. While I was filling them out, his hands kept trembling, and he dropped the donut on the floor. He fumbled to pick it up and kept eating. The guy I'm entrusting my life to doesn't even respect the five-second rule. FML

#19914869
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24987) - you deserved it (1990)

On 07/09/2012 at 2:25pm - health - by deadman (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, my wife is giving birth to our first born. I am an officer stationed overseas. Apparently, I am not only missing the birth, but I also missed the conception. FML

#19911168
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58749) - you deserved it (2692)

On 07/08/2012 at 8:30pm - love - by moodyreallyrocks - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my over-protective husband went into an extreme fit of jealousy at the sight of me breast-feeding our newborn baby boy. He's trying to make me bottle-feed our boy, because apparently it's "wrong" to let another guy touch my boobs. FML

#19900187
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43582) - you deserved it (4445)

On 07/06/2012 at 1:44pm - love - by wife of a shithead (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML

#19806269
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28923) - you deserved it (2902)

On 06/18/2012 at 7:38am - misc - by DwarfFrog - United States

Today, I was cashiering, and a customer's change came to $5.51. She looked pretty stinking rich, so I just gave her $5.50. She demanded the extra penny, and I asked if she really needed it. She said, "No, but they do, asshole," and dropped her $5.51 in the charity donation box. FML

#19781749
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8482) - you deserved it (105877)

On 06/13/2012 at 12:00pm - money - by ouch - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML

#15154591
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13544) - you deserved it (35002)

On 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm - health - by stupiddrunk (man) - United Kingdom (London)



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