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outoftown

Offline (the 12/11/2014 at 3:23am) | Search for a member

outoftown

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5603
  • Number of comments : 1580
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About outoftown : Yes, I'm a newbie.
Update: Now, not so new.
Update: I came, I lurked, I did a little commenting. I like it here!

outoftown's page activity

Visits<b>Attacksloth</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 11:42am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 6:07pm<b>bardo264</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 3:12pm<b>christinamarie17</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 2:07am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 6:44pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 12:15am<b>dingleberriet</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 8:09am<b>KMoBear</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 5:31am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 2:10pm<b>teotsi</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 9:50am<b>oops993</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 9:47am<b>Tinad01</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 7:02pm<b>conman531</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 2:55am<b>chelseaalise</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 10:46pm<b>Alhamdulilah</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 3:40pm<b>ChloeLentin</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 3:13am<b>persianninja</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 12:31am<b>tagallopes</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 9:26pm

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outoftown's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a phone call out of the blue from a young man, who screamed that he was going to kill me for sleeping with his fiancée. I told him I am a 49-year-old man who hasn't been laid since my wife passed away, four years ago. He stammered, shouted "Well she was a slut too" and hung up. FML

#20027025
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33280) - you deserved it (1527)

On 08/17/2012 at 8:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I bought the only cat on Earth that doesn't like chasing after a laser dot. Goodbye, hours of sick, sick entertainment. FML

#20026951
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12160) - you deserved it (22603)

On 08/17/2012 at 7:33pm - animals - by lonelygirl (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, at age eighteen, I finished moving out of my parents' house and into my own. The only person to even remotely give a shit was my sister, and that was only because I was taking the cat with me. FML

#20026624
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19905) - you deserved it (1986)

On 08/17/2012 at 3:55pm - misc - by CollegeBound (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend was coming home after a month of being away. When I heard him knock on the door, I rushed to open it and jumped into his arms for a hug. It wasn't him; it was the mailman. FML

Today, my fiancée showed me her wedding plans. It will be themed on one of her video games, the best man will be dressed as an alien warlord, and the vows talk about how we'll beat the odds and be blessed by the "Goddess Kalahira". Apparently, I have no say in this. FML

#20021119
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21597) - you deserved it (5438)

On 08/14/2012 at 6:50pm - love - by cestquoicebordel?? (man) - France

Today, my cheating, psycho asscricket of an ex texted me and asked me back out. I said no, and didn't think any more of it, at least until an hour later, when I looked out my window, only to see him smearing a bag of dog crap all over my porch. FML

#20020463
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22774) - you deserved it (1855)

On 08/14/2012 at 11:02am - love - by WELLFUCKYOUTOO (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it's my birthday. Today is also the day my grandma died, six years ago. Since then, I get to sit through any sort of attempted celebration while my mom sobs and drinks herself into a stupor in the background. FML

#20020164
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23806) - you deserved it (1366)

On 08/14/2012 at 3:57am - misc - by BirthdayFail (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, yet again, I had to dye my hair brown in advance of the new school year, because my school doesn't allow "unapproved" colors, even if they're natural. FML

#20018767
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28768) - you deserved it (1970)

On 08/13/2012 at 1:50pm - misc - by youmothERFUCKErs (woman) - United States

Today, at work, I was forced to nod and smile as a pregnant, fifteen-year-old, brain-dead Jersey Shore wannabe cussed me out for being rude by using words from a "foreign language" during our conversation. I used the word "pretentious." FML

#20015372
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34241) - you deserved it (2119)

On 08/11/2012 at 3:37pm - work - by mikeissad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found one of my mom's old diaries that dated back to my infant days. I couldn't help but read a little. I'm now in great concern over how many times my mom wrote that she wanted to dunk me in the toilet or throw me against a wall. FML

#20010632
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23093) - you deserved it (3451)

On 08/09/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, the highlight of my day was that I could afford name-brand ketchup. FML

#20008728
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21754) - you deserved it (2401)

On 08/08/2012 at 12:19am - money - by Heinz (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I surprisingly found two empty seats on the subway. Before anyone could get to them, I rushed and triumphantly sat down, enjoying my victory, until I noticed why they were empty. I had just sat down next to a guy vigorously trying to fellate himself. FML

#20007431
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21685) - you deserved it (5739)

On 08/07/2012 at 9:19am - intimacy - by Nightmares - United States

Today, my girlfriend's parents took pictures of my tattoos to make sure I'm "not affiliated with any gangs." I have never even been arrested. FML

#20005337
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19041) - you deserved it (3642)

On 08/06/2012 at 4:13am - love - by awkwardparents - United States (California)

Today, I discovered how pathetically introverted I am when during a car ride with my family, I said, "I really like this song" and my parents gasped because they didn't realize I was in the back seat. And I'm their only child. FML

#20005160
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25163) - you deserved it (2075)

On 08/06/2012 at 1:41am - misc - by mississippi123 - United States (California)

Today, while I was getting intimate with my husband, he moaned someone else's name. He actually tried to explain himself by saying that he'd had a "divine encounter," and while "possessed by the Lord," he'd been told the name of our future daughter. FML

#20003981
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35417) - you deserved it (2572)

On 08/05/2012 at 1:45pm - intimacy - by lils (woman) - United States



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