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outoftown

Offline (the 12/11/2014 at 3:23am) | Search for a member

outoftown

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5589
  • Number of comments : 1580
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About outoftown : Yes, I'm a newbie.
Update: Now, not so new.
Update: I came, I lurked, I did a little commenting. I like it here!

outoftown's page activity

Visits<b>Attacksloth</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 11:42am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 6:07pm<b>bardo264</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 3:12pm<b>christinamarie17</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 2:07am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 6:44pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 12:15am<b>dingleberriet</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 8:09am<b>KMoBear</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 5:31am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 2:10pm<b>teotsi</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 9:50am<b>oops993</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 9:47am<b>Tinad01</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 7:02pm<b>conman531</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 2:55am<b>chelseaalise</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 10:46pm<b>Alhamdulilah</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 3:40pm<b>ChloeLentin</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 3:13am<b>persianninja</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 12:31am<b>tagallopes</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 9:26pm

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outoftown's favorite FMLs

Today, my roommate pressed "snooze" on his alarm 14 times. I counted. FML

#20200321
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21136) - you deserved it (2182)

On 12/11/2012 at 10:57am - misc - by roommateprobssss:( - United States

Today, in my AP Biology class, a student informed us she'd read that Antarctica had completely melted due to global warming, to which my friend gushed, "Yeah! It's been melted for, like, months." FML

#20193921
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21325) - you deserved it (1846)

On 12/06/2012 at 3:47pm - misc - by bieberslayer (woman) - United States

Today, as I was about to walk across the street, a girl in front of me who clearly wasn't paying attention to the traffic, almost got run over. I grabbed her arm and jumped back. She was fine. I fell and fractured my arm and wrist. FML

#20182568
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23225) - you deserved it (1959)

On 11/28/2012 at 12:43pm - health - by williebees - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking home, when I realized I didn't have my phone on me. After retracing my steps, I realized that I'd been listening to music from my phone the entire time. FML

#20177683
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7050) - you deserved it (26350)

On 11/25/2012 at 2:12am - misc - by Jocelyn - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML

#20174027
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22404) - you deserved it (1523)

On 11/22/2012 at 4:03pm - work - by DocFUCKINGHATESSTUPIDPEOPLE (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML

#20173351
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20873) - you deserved it (3693)

On 11/22/2012 at 1:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was messing around with my wife. I grabbed her boobs and said, "Honk honk". Unbeknownst to me, my daughter saw it. Now my 3-year-old girl runs around honking everyone. Even her grandparents. FML

#20172916
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11278) - you deserved it (27355)

On 11/21/2012 at 8:20pm - kids - by piemasterzim (man) - Canada

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

#20172584
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7349) - you deserved it (32372)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by waking him up with a blowjob, because he had always told me that it was a sexy fantasy of his. When he finally woke up, he got pissed off, rudely accused me of interrupting his beauty sleep, then soundly lay back down and fell asleep again. FML

#20169340
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34581) - you deserved it (4301)

On 11/19/2012 at 10:12am - intimacy - by nextcontestant16 - United States

Today, I had my wisdom teeth taken out. I vaguely remember telling the doctor that I'm a virgin. Several times. FML

#20169028
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22723) - you deserved it (2432)

On 11/19/2012 at 1:21am - health - by NOIDIDNOT (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had a booth at a very expensive craft show. My grandma came to show her support. While there, she managed to knock over my display, get in the way of potential buyers and take down a rather old lady when she supposedly stumbled. This all happened in the first five minutes she was there. FML

#20167730
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19385) - you deserved it (1591)

On 11/18/2012 at 5:02am - work - by soldnone - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML

#20151986
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19694) - you deserved it (6384)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:11am - misc - by Squid (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while studying liver pathology and highlighting important lines in my textbook, I realized that I could count the number of words I hadn't highlighted on one hand, over the last six pages. FML

#20143160
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15866) - you deserved it (7930)

On 11/01/2012 at 5:18pm - misc - by ThisisMedSchool - United States (Tennessee)

Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML

#20142866
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24203) - you deserved it (4303) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/01/2012 at 7:48am - love - by Anonymous - France (Picardie)

Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

#20142294
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33145) - you deserved it (2346)

On 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm - kids - by ananymous - United States (New York)



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