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outoftown

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outoftown
  • Town/Country : Elsewhere, US
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2664
  • Number of comments : 1546
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About outoftown : Yes, I'm a newbie.
Update: Now, not so new.
Update: I came, I lurked, I did a little commenting. I like it here!

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outoftown's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML

#20098468
393 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31364) - you deserved it (2396)

On 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to explain to my 22-year-old boyfriend that mice do not grow up to be rats. FML

#20096649
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19118) - you deserved it (2222)

On 10/01/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I was so happy to be leaving the hospital after breaking my arm the night before. Just as I walked out of the doors, a huge ambulance team was running in at the same time and knocked me down full force. I now have a broken ankle. FML

#20091853
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26322) - you deserved it (1960)

On 09/28/2012 at 1:34am - health - by red_headforlife - United States (Arizona)

Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment for the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do you read?" FML

#20091837
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21568) - you deserved it (2978)

On 09/28/2012 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I found out why the girl I like won't give me the time of day. Apparently, I called her ugly and pushed her into a puddle when we were in kindergarten. FML

#20091625
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14803) - you deserved it (23127)

On 09/27/2012 at 10:41pm - love - by thatwas10yearsago (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out why the girl I like won't give me the time of day. Apparently, I called her ugly and pushed her into a puddle when we were in kindergarten. FML

#20091625
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14803) - you deserved it (23127)

On 09/27/2012 at 10:41pm - love - by thatwas10yearsago (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML

#20089182
394 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26357) - you deserved it (4698)

On 09/26/2012 at 2:57am - misc - by bacon lovers worst nightmare - United States (California)

Today, I went to my gynecologist's for a check-up. After the doctor checked me I went to the bathroom. It turns out the walls aren't soundproofed, because I could hear the doctor telling his assistant, "God! How did she ever find a husband?" FML

#20087510
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18458) - you deserved it (1626)

On 09/25/2012 at 12:13am - health - by N/A (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, one of my regulars approached me at work, arms extended for a hug. He's always in a bad mood, so I figured for once he wasn't grumpy and I enthusiastically hugged him. Turns out he was just stretching his arms. He told me I was crazy and pretty much ran out of my store. FML

Today, my sister stopped by to visit me with her pet bird in tow. She asked me to hold the animal while she went to the toilet, and put it on my shoulder. It promptly shat on my only clean shirt and tore away a good deal of skin from my hand when I tried to get it off me. FML

#20084743
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16159) - you deserved it (1957)

On 09/23/2012 at 7:11am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after months of believing my house is haunted, and years of being scared of the dark, I finally had to admit to myself that the only way I can go to the bathroom in the middle of the night is if my cat follows me and sits outside the door. I'm 23. FML

#20084083
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14236) - you deserved it (6164)

On 09/22/2012 at 8:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss told me his cancer test results came back positive. I congratulated him and asked how he planned to celebrate. It turns out a positive cancer test result is a bad thing. FML

#20083093
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5094) - you deserved it (39865)

On 09/22/2012 at 2:24am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I decided to give blood for the first time in my life. As an 18-year-old, 5'1", 110lb woman, I guess I shouldn't have been allowed there, much less permitted to leave the room to get some food. I ended up passing out in the middle of the dining hall. FML

Today, I was excited to get my first writing assignment since starting law school. I found out that I have to write a paper defending free speech. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have to defend the Westboro Baptist Church and if I weren't a former Marine. FML

#20079105
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27033) - you deserved it (2823)

On 09/19/2012 at 10:54am - misc - by LawStudent (man) - United States (Indiana)



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