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outoftown

Offline (the 12/03/2015 at 7:15am) | Search for a member

outoftown

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8681
  • Number of comments : 1580
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About outoftown : Yes, I'm a newbie.
Update: Now, not so new.
Update: I came, I lurked, I did a little commenting. I like it here!

outoftown's page activity

Visits<b>PVXCRunner15</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 3:22pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 10:39pm<b>Frowny</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 2:15pm<b>winchester818</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 11:02pm<b>idefka</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 7:08am<b>yank3321</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 9:45pm<b>Dman1791</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 3:03am<b>Doberman101</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 12:43am<b>PadfootLovesPie</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 11:31pm<b>anonymuse</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 3:31pm<b>creeperdevon</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 7:13pm<b>mattzawesome</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 9:08am<b>izkiz</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 1:36pm<b>clairesucks</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 3:05am<b>SoliDSt33L</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 1:24pm<b>iSonia</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 10:15pm<b>soak_25</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 10:15pm<b>Attacksloth</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 11:42am

Fucked!<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 4:39am<b>Blackadder</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 12:05pm

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outoftown's favorite FMLs

Today, my kitten tried jumping into a hot oven, a dryer, a dishwasher, a toilet, and a fish-tank. Curiosity is going to kill my cat. FML

#20470154
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35298) - you deserved it (3526)

On 01/20/2013 at 8:47pm - animals - by AnonCat (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up following one of the worst nightmares of my life. I was sweating, clutching the sheets, and feeling sick to the stomach. I'd been dreaming of my wedding that's taking place next week. FML

#20468290
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33141) - you deserved it (6926)

On 01/19/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Somerset)

Today, I attended my aunt's open-casket funeral. My sister spent the first quarter of an hour neither grieving nor celebrating her life, but whining that the "cute" clothes my aunt was dressed in could have been handed down to her, instead of being "wasted". FML

Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML

#20464395
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33570) - you deserved it (15647)

On 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my current boyfriend and my ex-boyfriend got into a fight about when my birthday is. They were both wrong. FML

#20464240
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44544) - you deserved it (5436)

On 01/17/2013 at 9:06am - love - by EmberLove (woman) - United States

Today, while making dinner I cut my finger badly with a knife. When I yelled for my dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste my blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML

#20458321
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38092) - you deserved it (3328)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:52am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

#20449894
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53658) - you deserved it (5133)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by kk - United States

Today, my dad made a voodoo doll out of a melon. This seems to happen a lot. FML

#20449532
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24052) - you deserved it (2628)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Israel

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

#20448629
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37920) - you deserved it (3055)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, at the reading of my mother's last will and testament, I found out that despite having cared for her for the final years of her life, she denied me an inheritance. She basically said I'm an embarrassment, because when she wrote it, I was 31 years old, with no wife or children. FML

#20445078
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28338) - you deserved it (2209)

On 01/06/2013 at 4:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, while on a first date with a charming guy, I excused myself to the bathroom. I tried to bring my purse along, since my pads were in there, and mother nature was calling. He vehemently insisted that I leave my purse, in case I was planning on stiffing him on the bill. FML

#20442878
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27214) - you deserved it (2539)

On 01/04/2013 at 7:33pm - love - by but i make different stiffies (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had to beg my husband not to shave his pubic hair into a handlebar moustache. FML

#20442876
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22547) - you deserved it (4086)

On 01/04/2013 at 7:31pm - love - by marisa (woman) - Ireland (Carlow)

Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML

#20437796
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41651) - you deserved it (4360)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:07am - animals - by catdog - United States (California)

Today, I'm sharing a hotel room with co-workers on a business trip. The walls are paper-thin, you could hear a pin drop, and I'm trying to make my explosive diarrhea as close to silent as possible. FML

#20431241
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36981) - you deserved it (2716)

On 12/30/2012 at 1:14am - work - by avoid the sour cream - United States

Today, I came home to find a pregnancy test in my trashcan. I live alone with my boyfriend and I'm not pregnant. FML

#20430574
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41987) - you deserved it (2611)

On 12/29/2012 at 7:22pm - love - by melas303 - United States



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

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  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

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