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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 983
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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ouchthatsux's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 5:47pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 4:13am<b>Sakura13</b> - the 01/28/2011 at 2:30pm

ouchthatsux's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

ouchthatsux's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to find that all my porn magazines have been "censored" with a black sharpie. FML

by Username / 04/21/2011 at 2:30pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was at the beach with my parents. They were walking hand in hand, when they spotted a crab. My Dad turned to my Mum and said "Oh, must've crawled out of my pubes!" they both laughed and kissed. I don't think they realized I was within hearing distance. FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2010 at 9:12am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, a wild squirrel managed to get into my house. I can't see him but I hear him in the walls. FML

by Anonymous / 02/28/2010 at 6:16am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML

by disgusted / 02/23/2010 at 1:09pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I lied to the treadmill about my weight. FML

by Holly / 02/05/2010 at 2:33am / United States / Health

Today, I hurried into the bank to cash in the $5,000 check my grandparents had given me for college money. I found out that instead of my name, they wrote 'our sweet iddle pumpkinbutt'. I couldn't make eye contact with anyone after. FML

by pumpkinbutt / 01/17/2010 at 4:08pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the movies. Not only did the movie end up being awful, but I came to my car to find out someone drew Squidward from "SpongeBob" with large letters spelling "I LIKE POTATOES!" on my windshield. In permanent marker. FML

by squidwardpotatoes / 11/14/2009 at 6:08am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, my parents had a fight, which is a pretty normal occurrence at our house. But today, they fought over an orange. Dad is now sitting in his bedroom with the aforementioned orange. FML

by Roida / 10/26/2009 at 6:15am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML

by PanFace / 10/13/2009 at 2:54am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I was camping. Me and this really cute girl were hitting it off real nice. It was the last night so we both headed over to my tent to have sex. I was just about to get it in when a raccoon ripped my tent causing the girl to scream and runaway. I got cockblocked by a raccoon. FML

by Baggabbles123 / 06/08/2009 at 7:24pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I allowed my five-year old daughter to paint my fingernails during a living-room "picnic" we were having. A while later I got called back in to work for an emergency meeting. When I arrived at the meeting I noticed my fingernails were still neon-green. I am a 40-year old man. FML

by psychortiz / 06/03/2009 at 1:40pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend invited me over so I went, not thinking anything of it. To my surprise, he broke up with me. I was pretty upset, and as I was leaving his mom hands me a box. When I got home I opened it. His mom baked me a break up cake. FML

by cakegirl / 05/25/2009 at 9:15pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I decided to use my mentor's advice. I told her I had been having some trouble controlling my anger, she told me to throw rocks at trees. I threw a rock at a tree, very hard. It bounced back hit me above the eye. I'm still pissed as shit. FML

by untitledentity / 05/24/2009 at 12:03pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, a girl called me asking for one of her friends. She wouldn't believe me when I told her she had the wrong number, and I spent a few minutes convincing her she did. After a while she said "what the fuck" and hung up. That was the longest conversation I had with a girl in months. FML

by Anonymous / 04/30/2009 at 7:08pm / United States (California) / Love