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otisnme94

Offline (the 08/19/2014 at 4:59am) | Search for a member

otisnme94

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 384
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About otisnme94 : I'm a country girl. I love my truck and family means the world to me

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otisnme94's favorite FMLs

Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML

#3456534
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67328) - you deserved it (4892)

On 07/03/2009 at 3:06pm - animals - by RachelDC (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML

#2656270
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43957) - you deserved it (11332)

On 06/06/2009 at 10:03am - animals - by imfromtexas02 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

#2532710
1165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82299) - you deserved it (218918)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I picked up my 4-year-old daughter from day care. As we're driving home, a butterfly lands on the windshield. Just as my daughter comments on how pretty the butterfly is, I turned a corner and accidentally hit the windshield wipers and smeared the pretty butterfly across the windshield. FML

#2405014
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45154) - you deserved it (11132)

On 05/29/2009 at 4:13pm - animals - by reb2632 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
435 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31913) - you deserved it (141229)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to see a fortune teller. She said one of my closest friends will die soon because of me. Frightened I hurried home to avoid meeting anyone I know. At home I found my goldfish floating on its back. Apparently I forgot to feed my closest friend for the past 3 days. FML

#1973503
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14917) - you deserved it (53547)

On 05/16/2009 at 8:21am - animals - by killer (woman) - Latvia (Riga)

Today, my 3-year-old said, "Mommy, I can share my teddy grahams with you." I said, "Thanks, honey, you're so sweet." And I ate a few. When I popped the last one in my mouth, I said, "Oh no, all gone!" She said, "That's okay, I have more." Then pulled the next handful out of her underwear. FML

#1918683
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57662) - you deserved it (6849)

On 05/13/2009 at 9:45pm - kids - by chelserusera (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took my lunch break to buy my mom a pretty orchid. I took it to her apartment (to which I have a key), placed it on her coffee table with her card, and went back to work, pleased with my surprise. She called me later to ask why I got her a stick in a pot of dirt. Her cat ate the orchid. FML

Today, my first graders released the butterflies we've been raising. The kids were sad that one had died in his cocoon and wouldn't be set free. Turns out that butterfly may have had a better fate: a flock of birds ate half of the others. Immediately after releasing them. In front of the kids. FML

#1454784
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65697) - you deserved it (4820)

On 04/29/2009 at 12:30pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML

#1177912
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51074) - you deserved it (23933)

On 04/20/2009 at 11:11pm - animals - by whymommywhy (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was with my girlfriend in her room. She starts screaming. Her father bursts in and, thinking I'm some kind of rapist, hits me in the head with a baseball bat. Not bad enough? I wasn't the one making her scream. There was a huge spider on the wall. FML

#927361
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (96397) - you deserved it (4567)

On 04/12/2009 at 2:11pm - animals - by spiderhater (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML

#896114
412 comments

I agree, your life sucks (220509) - you deserved it (27655)

On 04/10/2009 at 1:11am - animals - by lanbon182 - United States (California)

Today, I was getting ready to get in the shower. Completely naked, I pulled the curtain away and there was a huge spider on the wall in the shower. I screamed and my husband, disoriented from sleeping, came running in and knocked me over. I killed the spider with my forehead and broke my nose. FML



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