otisnme94

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Offline (the 11/26/2015 at 7:01am)

otisnme94

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 999
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About otisnme94 : I'm a country girl. I love my truck and family means the world to me

otisnme94's page activity

Visits<b>Leo619</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 7:02pm<b>chefcow</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 12:41am<b>XlDeathshadowXl</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 3:41pm<b>snorgia</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 11:35pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 8:18pm<b>ThunderKunt</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 2:24pm<b>Calibur64</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 1:25pm<b>bobman3355</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 1:20pm<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 1:16pm<b>Demonface54</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 12:32pm<b>lb562</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 12:12pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 12:11pm<b>Pwib</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 5:50am<b>MrABomb</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 4:58am<b>Sebastian2022</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 4:33am<b>pwnapple99</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 4:20am<b>cupcakeminella</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 7:16pm<b>Misses9098</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 6:52am

otisnme94's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of otisnme94's badges

otisnme94's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML

by BlueBirdWings / 03/06/2012 at 2:20am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went swimming in a pond. I came out covered in leeches. Terrified, I screamed, flailed about and cried out for help until half a dozen people ran over. One of them was kind enough to point out that those leeches I was so afraid of were actually patches of mud. FML

by asdfBUTT / 03/05/2012 at 8:36pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my therapist clapped for me when I told her I'd made a friend. FML

by ohdang / 03/01/2012 at 12:12pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was making breakfast. My microwave door was already open, but I couldn't figure that out so I kept pressing the button. According to Einstein, I'm now insane. FML

by lol / 01/25/2012 at 10:54am / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, I found out why my room-mates and I have been ill for the past week. Apparently a rodent climbed into our water cooker and died. I have been drinking tea and eating noodles that have been tainted by a corpse all this time. FML

by hannaaaahr / 01/11/2012 at 3:08pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, as I was just finishing my grocery shopping, a little girl and her mother walked past. Seeing the little girl staring at me, I waved. The girl then pointed to me and asked her mother "Mommy, is that man pregnant?" FML

by Anonymous / 12/31/2011 at 1:21am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML

by Santa / 12/12/2011 at 4:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I saw a 10 dollar bill on the street, as I went to grab it, it was pulled away by a string. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I was tricked by teenagers or that I tripped and fell as I went for it. FML

by aceshot97 / 12/06/2011 at 9:33am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I learned if you dream you're having a piss, you most likely are having a piss. FML

by rj93 / 11/05/2011 at 9:43am / United Kingdom (Ballymena) / Health

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

by mannydanny / 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was hosting a pool party, when my husband and his friends got the bright idea of lighting one of the party balloons on fire. Needless to say, it immediately exploded. In shock, he jumped back straight into me, sending me and my $400 cell phone splashing into the pool. FML

by Anonymous / 08/27/2011 at 3:21am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, while riding in the car with my mother, we got into an argument, at which point she pulled the vehicle over, took the key out of the ignition and used it to turn off the passenger airbag. She then continued driving in silence. FML

by W1D0 / 08/20/2011 at 2:23am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML

by candymansvan17 / 08/17/2011 at 5:50pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, my potbellied pig ate my neighbor's award-winning flower garden, that she has been growing for almost three years. She'd told me that she was bringing the judges of the competition, in which she was in line to win $300, to her house in two days. I have yet to tell her. FML

by otter / 08/16/2011 at 10:05pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, the guy at Subway asked if I wanted to make my sandwich a footlong. I'm not sure what came over me, but before I realized what I was saying, I'd told him that I couldn't handle 12 inches. FML

by Username / 08/14/2011 at 1:44pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous