Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (yesterday at 7:01am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 865
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About otisnme94 : I'm a country girl. I love my truck and family means the world to me

otisnme94's page activity

Visits<b>chefcow</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 12:41am<b>XlDeathshadowXl</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 3:41pm<b>snorgia</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 11:35pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 8:18pm<b>ThunderKunt</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 2:24pm<b>Calibur64</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 1:25pm<b>bobman3355</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 1:20pm<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 1:16pm<b>Demonface54</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 12:32pm<b>lb562</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 12:12pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 12:11pm<b>Pwib</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 5:50am<b>MrABomb</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 4:58am<b>Sebastian2022</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 4:33am<b>pwnapple99</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 4:20am<b>cupcakeminella</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 7:16pm<b>Misses9098</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 6:52am<b>ashtol98</b> - the 03/29/2013 at 10:26pm

otisnme94's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of otisnme94's badges

otisnme94's favorite FMLs

Today, as part of my medical anatomy course, I had to give a presentation about an STD and the effects it has on women. The class was comprised almost entirely of girls. I become extremely anxious and accidentally stated "Vaginas are smelly" as my opening statement. FML


I agree, your life sucks (15503) - you deserved it (27268)

On 05/17/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I walked in on my dad introducing his stuffed gorilla to his cat. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21989) - you deserved it (2729)

On 05/14/2012 at 11:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20079) - you deserved it (34029) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/08/2012 at 11:48pm - misc - by Mouhahaa (man) - France

Today, I heard the ice cream truck. Being the idiot that I am, I ran down the steps and almost immediately fell down them. I needed four stitches. I didn't even get my ice cream. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21196) - you deserved it (9086)

On 05/08/2012 at 9:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while at the store, I realized how socially inept I am when I said "excuse me" to a shopping cart because it was in my way. FML

Today, I finally found out what the horrible smell at work was. A rat had decided to make its home in our emergency exit sign and had been fried by the electricity. I now have to fix this. Hello scorched dead rat. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23218) - you deserved it (1920)

On 05/03/2012 at 5:17pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boss overheard me singing, "I need a shit, I need a shit" on my way to the bathroom. FML


I agree, your life sucks (8332) - you deserved it (32555)

On 04/26/2012 at 6:44am - work - by NoPrivacy (woman) - United States

Today, I witnessed a car accident. Being an experienced paramedic, I rushed to the scene to see if anyone needed help. As I assessed the people involved, one of them pickpocketed me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29421) - you deserved it (1907)

On 04/19/2012 at 6:33pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while driving my car near a farm, I hit a man on the side of the road. I started freaking out and got out of the car to help him. It was then that I found out that I'd hit a scarecrow. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21184) - you deserved it (6823)

On 04/12/2012 at 7:53pm - misc - by questionmark707 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was stopped and searched by a cop, and he quickly found the bag of weed in my pocket. He didn't arrest or fine me, but he did confiscate my weed and told me to "get lost." Pretty sure I just got legally mugged. FML


I agree, your life sucks (15730) - you deserved it (39667)

On 04/11/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by erockinthesuburb (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom was put in jail for beating the shit out of my dad. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38903) - you deserved it (2930)

On 03/17/2012 at 12:53am - misc - by Taylor Easley - United States (California)

Today, my husband started getting frisky, but I wasn't in the mood, so I said I'd just like to cuddle and talk. He decided a good topic of conversation was whether or not it would be physically possible to smoke my grandma's ashes from the cremation urn. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21775) - you deserved it (9021)

On 03/14/2012 at 9:32pm - misc - by solyana vr1 - United States

Today, I was watching a kid at school walk like a gangster. My teacher was standing there, so I stood behind the kid and walked like him, laughing to myself, at which point my teacher took me to one side and told me the kid was handicapped. FML

Today, I woke up sweating and gasping for air after having a terrible nightmare. The nightmare involved my deceased mother-in-law bitching me out for being a bad influence on her daughter and threatening to cut my nuts off. Even in death, she won't leave me be. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27908) - you deserved it (2412)

On 03/13/2012 at 12:13pm - misc - by lanu (man) - United States

Today, I was debating if I actually do talk to myself. I was having this conversation with myself. FML


Mselle Risa's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML Pics : The top 4 pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a boring bunch of words thrown at you by a corporate robot. That's true. Corporate robots are the worst. Anyway, the FML Pics app is still being downloaded all over the…

Tuesday 24 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: