About osm1989 : Find the book Shit My Kids Ruined. There is a picture of a wall where a kid had written on it that he is "osm." It's his spelling of "awesome," which I have since adopted into my own vocabulary because I too am pretty osm. Ask anyone, except for most people. Don't ask most people. Just ask me. I will give you my unbiased opinion about just how osm I am. Also, my daughter is amazingly osm. Also also, I've got another daughter on the way, who I can only assume will be osm as well.
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Today, I had my girlfriend over to meet my parents. After dinner, we were in the living room talking. My dad thought it would be funny to grab our cat, stick it down his shirt, then pretend to give birth to it, with sound effects. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16452) - you deserved it (1374)
On 09/13/2012 at 8:37am - misc - by Sprtsgeek13 - United States (Maine)
Today, I had just bought a new $60 basketball and decided to go try it out. Five minutes into playing, the ball decided to roll into the hands of a little girl, who then said, "Mine". I thought it was cute, until she skipped over to her parent's car and they drove off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23118) - you deserved it (4179)
On 09/12/2012 at 4:52am - kids - by Bitchjackedmyball - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I came home from work to be given $1 by my mother. This normally would have been nice, had my mother not said, "I just sold that ugly old black and white picture frame you always leave lying around in your room." Which also would have been nice if that "frame" wasn't my Kindle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28063) - you deserved it (1266)
On 09/12/2012 at 4:44am - money - by humorizer - United States (Texas)
Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36537) - you deserved it (2906)
On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my teacher assigned us teams in a class debate. I landed on the team that had to argue the obviously wrong point of view. When I finished, my teacher told me and the entire class how much I disturbed her, and how I reminded her of Hitler and Napoleon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19039) - you deserved it (1411)
On 09/05/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I were watching TV and there were penguins laying eggs. He said, "Penguins are mammals, they don't lay eggs." I replied, "Penguins are birds." We fought about it for ages until he realised that I was right, and has since stopped talking to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15346) - you deserved it (1540)
On 09/02/2012 at 8:10pm - animals - by difference between birds and mammals. - Australia
Today, my boyfriend got a new tattoo. It was a big tattoo of Pikachu on his hip. I told him now I'd feel like I was having sex with an 8-year-old boy. His defense? "No, no, think of it as having sex with Pikachu!" He still refuses to understand why that's weird. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16282) - you deserved it (3159)
On 08/30/2012 at 9:08pm - intimacy - by Kat (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27054) - you deserved it (1361)
On 08/30/2012 at 8:58am - misc - by Sarah - United States (New York)
Today, I announced to my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He immediately denied that it was his because "a childhood accident" supposedly left him sterile. He has a child from a previous relationship. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18770) - you deserved it (3790)
On 08/28/2012 at 7:08pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my boyfriend told me that he had once been possessed by demons, and that he now sleeps with a knife under his pillow for protection from, "The dark spirits that are feasting upon his soul." I'm not sure that I'll be sleeping over anytime soon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14538) - you deserved it (1474)
On 08/28/2012 at 11:56am - love - by StillBetterThanTwilight (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my son, who seems to think that he is a "gangsta" despite being a white boy from the suburbs, cried because I accidentally burned his grilled cheese. He's 28. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22653) - you deserved it (4099)
On 08/28/2012 at 12:29am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19490) - you deserved it (2465)
On 08/26/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19490) - you deserved it (2465)
On 08/26/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6661) - you deserved it (15801)
On 08/23/2012 at 12:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out that my parents don't know the difference between a foreign person and a deaf person. They've been yelling at our exchange student for the past 2 days. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15578) - you deserved it (847)
On 08/21/2012 at 7:17pm - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Monday 20 May 2013
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