Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

osm1989

Search for a member

osm1989

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Thursday 10 August 1989 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1906
  • Number of comments : 77
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About osm1989 : Find the book Shit My Kids Ruined. There is a picture of a wall where a kid had written on it that he is "osm." It's his spelling of "awesome," which I have since adopted into my own vocabulary because I too am pretty osm. Ask anyone, except for most people. Don't ask most people. Just ask me. I will give you my unbiased opinion about just how osm I am. Also, my daughter is amazingly osm. Also also, I've got another daughter on the way, who I can only assume will be osm as well.

osm1989's page activity

Visits<b>buckdharma</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 8:37am<b>chylew</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 10:38pm<b>Dumbledore911</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 5:36am<b>allforyoux3</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 9:58am<b>hunteryager</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 12:45pm<b>SgrA</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 2:55am<b>Glitter_taco_</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 1:15am<b>Marmarfarfar</b> - the 04/30/2013 at 2:59am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 04/29/2013 at 3:16am<b>DeidaraAkatsuki</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 7:39am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 3:44pm<b>Davenomore12</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 10:19am<b>NaN101</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 5:24am<b>Thenextguyover</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 8:15pm<b>BMF96</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 7:57pm<b>mangoboy1</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 10:59am<b>Rob4614</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 6:32am<b>Matthew86</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 4:30am

osm1989's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of osm1989's badges

osm1989's favorite FMLs

Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML

#20139786
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9027) - you deserved it (37347)

On 10/30/2012 at 2:08am - love - by Andrew (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I broke a nail at school. The edge kept getting caught on things, so I thought I could file it down by rubbing it on my jeans. Apparently it looked like I was doing something else, because I was called into the principal's office to discuss why "certain things" should be done in private. FML

#20139255
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26530) - you deserved it (4501)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom called me an asshole. She was embarrassed when she saw that a visiting family member had overheard, and tried to cover it up with, "Honey, you are a casserole! You are just delicious, any guy is gonna want you sweetie!" She honestly thought this would work. FML

#20133203
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27539) - you deserved it (2243)

On 10/25/2012 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Agirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my daughter told me that she wanted to convert to a Christian. Not because she has a strong relation with God, but because she wants to post Facebook statuses about Him and "get a lot of likes." FML

#20131695
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24207) - you deserved it (3082)

On 10/24/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I came home from college to find my favorite silk nightie that I had left behind being modeled by Bernie, the family dog. Nobody will admit to who put it on him. I don't know what's worse, that my family is a bunch of assholes, or that my nightie is big enough to fit a Saint Bernard. FML

#20129867
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17767) - you deserved it (3102)

On 10/23/2012 at 2:05pm - misc - by nicedoggy (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I came home to find an almost completely devoured cheesecake, The Notebook playing on the TV, and a shoe thrown at my head. It's safe to say my girlfriend is just about on her period. FML

#20128340
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25805) - you deserved it (4730)

On 10/22/2012 at 3:08pm - misc - by jesushelpme (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

#20128322
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27399) - you deserved it (4252)

On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dad saw on TV that in some parts of Africa, it's not uncommon for people to attach make-shift flamethrowers to their cars to defend against carjackers. He's now lost his mind and is forcing me to help him put one together to scare off Jehovah's Witnesses. FML

#20124199
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16943) - you deserved it (1924)

On 10/19/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Watchtower? More like fortress. (man) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I got a job babysitting two really sweet kids. When their parents left, they told me that their cat had died. I told them how sorry I was, to which one of them replied, "That's okay. We still have him in a box. Wanna see?" FML

#20123166
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19187) - you deserved it (1686)

On 10/18/2012 at 9:57pm - kids - by Jessica - United States

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

#20110144
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25820) - you deserved it (4535)

On 10/10/2012 at 4:43am - animals - by assholecat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went out and made build-a-bears that looked like my daughter and her new boyfriend. It turns out she had been insisting that I didn't for a good reason; upon sight of his, her boyfriend screamed and fled the house. Turns out he was nearly mauled to death by a bear. FML

#20108200
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14904) - you deserved it (26389)

On 10/08/2012 at 9:51pm - kids - by ScaryBears (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend learned how to somersault. He now thinks that he's a ninja and somersaults into every room. FML

#20105538
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19026) - you deserved it (4122)

On 10/07/2012 at 10:20am - love - by justabitembarrassed - United States (Ohio)

Today, as an introduction to the history of China, I asked my APA World History class to write a 500 word essay on a historical Chinese person. Out of a class of 18, five of them were about Mulan. FML

#20102571
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17959) - you deserved it (3983)

On 10/05/2012 at 5:47am - work - by desperate (woman) - Malta

Today, I got sent to the principal's office because my Dad decided that instead of signing his name, he would sign, "Ms. Bigtits", because he wanted to make sure the teachers were paying attention to what their students handed in. FML

#20088535
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20212) - you deserved it (1381)

On 09/25/2012 at 7:20pm - misc - by PerpetuallyHappy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I bought my nephew some giant green Incredible Hulk fists for his birthday. He thanked me by Hulk-smashing me in the nuts. FML

#20086472
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19367) - you deserved it (5605)

On 09/24/2012 at 10:33am - kids - by smashed (man) - United States



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: