About osm1989 : Find the book Shit My Kids Ruined. There is a picture of a wall where a kid had written on it that he is "osm." It's his spelling of "awesome," which I have since adopted into my own vocabulary because I too am pretty osm. Ask anyone, except for most people. Don't ask most people. Just ask me. I will give you my unbiased opinion about just how osm I am. Also, my daughter is amazingly osm. Also also, I've got another daughter on the way, who I can only assume will be osm as well.
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Today, I had a sex dream, which I interrupted by having an OCD-induced panic attack because apparently we weren't using protection. My brain won't even let me enjoy the fantasy action I get in my sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19477) - you deserved it (1873)
On 11/21/2012 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Dead_Fox (man) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, my girlfriend looked me straight in the eye and said, "I know about the sea turtles." I asked her what she was talking about and she said, "Next time, shut up or I'll show you pain." I have no idea what she's talking about. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14517) - you deserved it (1243)
On 11/19/2012 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I awoke in the midst of the night to find my half-naked dad drunkenly arguing with the microwave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12857) - you deserved it (935)
On 11/18/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by mountains - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, after I spent two hours trying to teach my girlfriend to play sudoku, she broke up with me, tearfully claiming that I'd made up a fake, imaginary game to make her feel stupid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25158) - you deserved it (2664)
On 11/18/2012 at 7:13am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I asked my manager if wearing makeup was a requirement for the job. She told me, "Not if you're naturally pretty... So for you, yes". FML
I agree, your life sucks (19533) - you deserved it (2168)
On 11/17/2012 at 4:15am - work - by satega - United States (Missouri)
Today, my older brother thought it would be hilarious to sneak up and scare me in the grocery aisle at the store. I screamed and jumped, knocking half the shelf's contents all over the floor. We're now banned from the only grocery store in town. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15485) - you deserved it (1734)
On 11/17/2012 at 1:42am - misc - by sarahhbear - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to a big job interview. Everything went well at first, with the interviewer being impressed by my CV. I was then interrogated over not having a Facebook account, and practically accused of being a criminal, because people without them "always have something to hide". FML
I agree, your life sucks (17488) - you deserved it (1055)
On 11/16/2012 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)
Today, my boss told me to cut my long hair. After coming back to work with a clean cut hairstyle, he apparently thought I was the new guy, and said I was going to be trained by "The long-haired girly-looking idiot." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17700) - you deserved it (2317)
On 11/14/2012 at 1:10pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend snapped at me for being lazy and incompetent, and declared that if I was going to behave like a child, she would be treating me like one. This includes safety-proofing the house, talking to me like a 3-year-old and slapping me with a wooden spoon when I do something wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5159) - you deserved it (19227)
Today, I arrived home after a hard day's work to see my 12-year-old sister had greased up my 8-year-old brother with butter and olive oil, and was attempting to slide him down the wooden floorboards in the hallway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13776) - you deserved it (1269)
On 11/13/2012 at 5:00am - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, I was at the library using a computer to order a package. A man sat down next to me mumbling to himself while staring at me. As I got up to go to the printer, he pointed at me and screamed, "I will burn you alive and enjoy it!" All of my info including my address was still on the computer screen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16861) - you deserved it (3273)
On 11/13/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by sarahcurtis213 - United States
Today, I found my childhood diary stashed in a box in the attic. I flipped to the last page and noticed a little note written by my now deceased father. It read, "Well son, this diary proves that you're a whiny asshole - Dad." Thanks Dad, from beyond the grave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17504) - you deserved it (3270)
On 11/12/2012 at 9:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I came back home in tears, and eventually told my dad what was wrong. He immediately excused himself to the living room, where I heard him tell my mom, "She's gone all Taylor Swift again." FML
I agree, your life sucks (142) - you deserved it (6023)
On 11/11/2012 at 5:48pm - love - by notalovestory (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I accidentally bumped into another car on the road. The worst of the damage was a slight chip to the other driver's paint, but she played it up so much that she ended up being taken away in an ambulance. I'm now terrified that the crazy bitch is going to sue me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19297) - you deserved it (2346)
On 11/11/2012 at 2:11pm - money - by youfuckingslut (man) - United States
Today, the father of my unborn child told me he isn't sure he'll be able to make it to the birth, since there's no guarantee of when it will happen, so he can't schedule time off. This would be understandable if he actually had a job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16932) - you deserved it (4248)
On 11/11/2012 at 1:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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