About osm1989 : Find the book Shit My Kids Ruined. There is a picture of a wall where a kid had written on it that he is "osm." It's his spelling of "awesome," which I have since adopted into my own vocabulary because I too am pretty osm. Ask anyone, except for most people. Don't ask most people. Just ask me. I will give you my unbiased opinion about just how osm I am. Also, my daughter is amazingly osm. Also also, I've got another daughter on the way, who I can only assume will be osm as well.
osm1989's FML badges
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
osm1989's favorite FMLs
by idontevenlikebuttsthatmuch / 12/18/2012 at 4:44pm / United States (Arizona) / Transportation
Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. FML
by Dog_Lover / 12/18/2012 at 10:30am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
by kidyounot / 12/17/2012 at 7:29pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
by Bonding_boys / 12/17/2012 at 11:21am / United States (Minnesota) / Kids
Today, my car window got smashed in. The cop that came to take the report said they'd already caught the guy doing it, he'd smashed in several other car windows, all of the exact same model and color. His reason for doing it was simple: he was drunk and "hated red Jeeps". FML
by Cold / 12/17/2012 at 12:08am / United States (Virginia) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 12/13/2012 at 7:37am / United States (California) / Kids
by maxedoutidiot / 12/12/2012 at 9:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by JPPUDLY / 12/11/2012 at 6:03pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML
by Tonguetied0496 / 12/10/2012 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Love
Today, a senile old lady came up to me and offered me chocolate. I noticed that it was ex-lax, so I politely told her no. My 4-year-old daughter pushed me aside and ate the ex-lax, because she thought it was candy. I now have a stinky child on a 3 hour bus ride, with no stops. FML
by Anonymous / 12/09/2012 at 11:29am / United States (Texas) / Transportation
Today, I came home to find all of the wood in my house either broken or gone. On the now legless table there was a note from my mother, saying that she needed the wood to build a boat, and that I will thank her when the world ends. FML
by woodless / 12/09/2012 at 10:29am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by whaleninjapoop / 12/06/2012 at 3:24am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Likian5 / 12/04/2012 at 8:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/03/2012 at 2:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house when I got a call from my parents. They told me to come home immediately. Panicking, I rushed home. My dad pulled out a clear tube filled with dried leaves. They accused me of having marijuana. It was catnip for my kitten. FML
by potheadloljk / 12/01/2012 at 9:01pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…