About osm1989 : Find the book Shit My Kids Ruined. There is a picture of a wall where a kid had written on it that he is "osm." It's his spelling of "awesome," which I have since adopted into my own vocabulary because I too am pretty osm. Ask anyone, except for most people. Don't ask most people. Just ask me. I will give you my unbiased opinion about just how osm I am. Also, my daughter is amazingly osm. Also also, I've got another daughter on the way, who I can only assume will be osm as well.
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osm1989's favorite FMLs
Today, I have to take a midterm, which is worth a large part of my grade. All our teacher has taught us so far is how to roast s'mores over a Bunsen burner, and how to make gummy bears explode. Our test is on kinetics. FML
by Anonymous / 01/21/2013 at 4:26pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Sydney / 01/15/2013 at 6:16pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by anon / 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/13/2013 at 1:25pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, my 17 year old boyfriend's mother bought him a giraffe onesie. He refused to take it off and insisted on wearing it everywhere we go. We live in Australia and it's our summer now. So far he has passed out 3 times in public because he over heated, but he still won't take it off. FML
by GiraffeLover / 01/11/2013 at 6:36am / Australia / Love
Today, my husband and I found the perfect house, in our price range and everything we wanted in a house. However, the street it's on is called "Arbour Butte Road". My husband refuses to buy it because he doesn't want it to sound like he lives "in a tree's ass." I'm married to an idiot. FML
by it's just a name / 01/10/2013 at 12:53am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by ugh / 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids
by christmaswillneverend / 01/01/2013 at 7:18pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
Today, my wife and I had a fight, which I thought we resolved. Later, while painting the kitchen, I told her to change into an old shirt she didn't care about. She made a huge show of putting her wedding gown on, veil and all. FML
by Anonymous / 01/01/2013 at 4:33pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/01/2013 at 1:12am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad asked me when I was going to start looking for a job. Jokingly, I told him next year. He got pissed, started to yell, then realized Tuesday is New Year's Day and grounded me for "being a dumbass." FML
by BAMN2187 / 12/30/2012 at 10:51pm / United States / Work
Today, my psycho grandma yelled at me for being an "immature brat" by not offering to wash the dishes after dinner. I reminded her that when I offered last time, she raged at me for being "condescending". She responded by faking a heart attack and getting me indefinitely grounded. FML
by really mature, GRAN / 12/25/2012 at 3:59pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Kate / 12/23/2012 at 3:24am / United States (Missouri) / Animals
by Anonymous / 12/20/2012 at 11:05pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
by jsmills92 / 12/20/2012 at 7:26pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my future father in law motorboated my breasts as I bent down to give him a hug goodbye. The… Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob".… Today, while in bed with my boyfriend of 2 years, he mentioned what it would be like if he had sex…