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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Thursday 10 August 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5178
  • Number of comments : 77
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About osm1989 : Find the book Shit My Kids Ruined. There is a picture of a wall where a kid had written on it that he is "osm." It's his spelling of "awesome," which I have since adopted into my own vocabulary because I too am pretty osm. Ask anyone, except for most people. Don't ask most people. Just ask me. I will give you my unbiased opinion about just how osm I am. Also, my daughter is amazingly osm. Also also, I've got another daughter on the way, who I can only assume will be osm as well.

osm1989's page activity

Visits<b>buckdharma</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 11:47am<b>starlandmarie</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 2:20pm<b>DerSuldam</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 3:07pm<b>liv1222</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 9:19pm<b>Matheo</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 3:30pm<b>apineapple</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 8:50pm<b>BeautifulLiesx</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 10:17pm<b>happysmile987</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 7:19am<b>Stormcloak</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 12:12pm<b>Anthonymm2</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 3:07am<b>chylew</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 10:38pm<b>Dumbledore911</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 5:36am<b>allforyoux3</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 9:58am<b>hunteryager</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 12:45pm<b>SgrA</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 2:55am<b>Glitter_taco_</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 1:15am<b>Marmarfarfar</b> - the 04/30/2013 at 2:59am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 04/29/2013 at 3:16am

Fucked!<b>buckdharma</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 2:45pm

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osm1989's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2013 at 2:18am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to sneak out of work early to pick my 14-year-old son up from school. He and a friend had been found covered in Astroglide, racing each other down the corridor on their bellies. My boss noticed my absence from work, and now my son and I are both on suspension. FML

by Anonymous / 02/28/2013 at 7:15pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, my elderly neighbor had asked me to take her to her early morning doctor's appointment. I arrived at her house at 7:30 as agreed, and she appeared to have forgotten who I was. She started lobbing eggs out of her window at me, telling me she wasn't interested in what I was selling. FML

by she sure has an arm. / 02/28/2013 at 6:57am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML

by Chelsea / 02/27/2013 at 5:39pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my boyfriend where he went to lunch. He said he went to Wendy's. I teased him and asked if he got tired of eating burgers and Frosty's all the time. His response? "What? No, I mean at Wendy's. You know, the hot girl from work?" FML

by Anonymous / 02/27/2013 at 12:36pm / United States / Love

Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learned from my immigrant mother and her family, I started a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turned out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML

by Jan / 02/26/2013 at 11:50pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my mother's funeral, as everyone was around her casket for the viewing, my 5-year-old son in cluelessness of what was going on shouted, "Grandma is more fun when she isn't sleeping." Everyone cried. FML

by Anonymous / 02/25/2013 at 6:00pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML

by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison / 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm / France (Languedoc-Roussillon) / Health

Today, my parents told me that I'm no longer allowed to come home from boarding school on weekends because it will confuse my cats and disrupt their lives. FML

by incendiaaa / 02/24/2013 at 6:17am / Australia / Animals

Today, I met my new class. There are two Kevin Smiths. Neither will agree to a nickname, they have the same hair color, and their middle names both start with J. They have told me to call them Kevin 1 and Kevin 2. They both want to be Kevin 1. FML

by Anonymous / 02/18/2013 at 7:26pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I asked my mother if I could have my boyfriend sleep over for Valentine's day weekend. Her response? "If you're on your period he can. Unless he's into that. Then no." FML

by dab1230 / 02/06/2013 at 7:26pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my husband started a conversation with, "In Pokémon" and ended the same conversation with "and that's why we should divorce." FML

by PokeWife / 02/06/2013 at 8:38am / United States (Nebraska) / Love

Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML

by dr mamour / 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm / Love

Today, I found out that my roommate has been switching my protein powder with chocolate milk mix and brown sugar. Since I work out frequently, I've been consuming large amounts of this and have gained at least 10 pounds of fat. His reason? I turned his bookbag inside out. Once. FML

by fatty milkshakes / 01/29/2013 at 5:56pm / United States / Health

Today, I had to slowly explain to my son that an "analogy" is a literary device, not a genre of porn. FML

by Anonymous / 01/27/2013 at 1:50pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids