About osm1989 : Find the book Shit My Kids Ruined. There is a picture of a wall where a kid had written on it that he is "osm." It's his spelling of "awesome," which I have since adopted into my own vocabulary because I too am pretty osm. Ask anyone, except for most people. Don't ask most people. Just ask me. I will give you my unbiased opinion about just how osm I am. Also, my daughter is amazingly osm. Also also, I've got another daughter on the way, who I can only assume will be osm as well.
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osm1989's favorite FMLs
by fml / 07/29/2012 at 8:20am / Japan (Saitama) / Kids
by Just Me / 07/26/2012 at 1:04am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML
by justlittleoldme / 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
by Unlucky / 07/25/2012 at 9:03am / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Love
Today, I auditioned for the role of Rizzo in a local production of Grease. The director told me I wasn't tough enough, and that my persona too sweet and childlike for the part. I asked if I should instead try out to play Sandy. He replied "I was being nice. Honestly, you're ugly and can't act." FML
by anonymous / 07/18/2012 at 12:02am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/17/2012 at 9:54am / Greece (Attiki) / Health
by Marjorie / 07/13/2012 at 1:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by shorty4 / 07/13/2012 at 10:36am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, my wife and I decided to try role-playing. I started cleaning the pool. waiting for her to come out and be sexy, but she never did. I'd cleaned the entire pool before going into the house to ask why she never came out. She said she tricked me into cleaning the pool. FML
by CantPublish / 04/12/2012 at 1:54pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Jayde / 02/04/2012 at 12:12am / United States (Texas) / Love
by britanyann / 01/05/2012 at 10:45pm / United States / Animals
by Anonymous / 12/29/2011 at 5:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML
by MLGreco / 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm / United States / Kids
Today, I was driving when a guy in a truck swerved in front of me. I didn't realize I'd sworn until I'd come to a red light and my one year old daughter yelled her own version of what I said. She now yells "Chicken in the hole!" whenever the car comes to a stop. FML
by Mommy / 06/26/2011 at 4:47pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids
by Anonymous / 12/05/2010 at 3:10am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
- Today, as usual, my boyfriend referred to his penis in the third person as "Mr. Willy". Even during… Today, my mom walked in on me and my boyfriend having sex. She was completely embarrassed (as was… Today, my mother was trying to have yet another "helpful" conversation about how to fix my anxiety.…