osm1989

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osm1989

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Thursday 10 August 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5338
  • Number of comments : 77
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About osm1989 : Find the book Shit My Kids Ruined. There is a picture of a wall where a kid had written on it that he is "osm." It's his spelling of "awesome," which I have since adopted into my own vocabulary because I too am pretty osm. Ask anyone, except for most people. Don't ask most people. Just ask me. I will give you my unbiased opinion about just how osm I am. Also, my daughter is amazingly osm. Also also, I've got another daughter on the way, who I can only assume will be osm as well.

osm1989's page activity

Visits<b>buckdharma</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 11:47am<b>starlandmarie</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 2:20pm<b>DerSuldam</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 3:07pm<b>liv1222</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 9:19pm<b>Matheo</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 3:30pm<b>apineapple</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 8:50pm<b>BeautifulLiesx</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 10:17pm<b>happysmile987</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 7:19am<b>Stormcloak</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 12:12pm<b>Anthonymm2</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 3:07am<b>chylew</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 10:38pm<b>Dumbledore911</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 5:36am<b>allforyoux3</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 9:58am<b>hunteryager</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 12:45pm<b>SgrA</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 2:55am<b>Glitter_taco_</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 1:15am<b>Marmarfarfar</b> - the 04/30/2013 at 2:59am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 04/29/2013 at 3:16am

Fucked!<b>buckdharma</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 2:45pm

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osm1989's favorite FMLs

Today, my son, who seems to think that he is a "gangsta" despite being a white boy from the suburbs, cried because I accidentally burned his grilled cheese. He's 28. FML

by Anonymous / 08/28/2012 at 12:29am / Canada (Quebec) / Kids

Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2012 at 7:39pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2012 at 7:39pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2012 at 12:50pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I found out that my parents don't know the difference between a foreign person and a deaf person. They've been yelling at our exchange student for the past 2 days. FML

by anonymous / 08/21/2012 at 7:17pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at Starbucks after having a rough day. The old man beside me was talking to his friend. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him point at me and say, "See that beautiful girl over there?" Flattered, I listened closer, until he finished his statement with, "She's gonna die." FML

by scared to leave the house / 08/20/2012 at 5:14am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at Starbucks after having a rough day. The old man beside me was talking to his friend. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him point at me and say, "See that beautiful girl over there?" Flattered, I listened closer, until he finished his statement with, "She's gonna die." FML

by scared to leave the house / 08/20/2012 at 5:14am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML

by Sarah / 08/17/2012 at 3:45am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend used various infomercial phrases like, "Wait, there's more!" during sex. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2012 at 1:16am / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my fifteen-year-old son and his friends attempting to set up a rudimentary meth lab in his bedroom. I'm not sure whether to be angrier that they simply tried this, or that they thought burning up baking soda would somehow produce methamphetamine. FML

by JAdams / 08/12/2012 at 8:49pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Kids

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, after my boyfriend and I had gotten frisky last night, I found a note on the front door of my building that read, "Dear girl in apartment 3D, from now on please close the blinds all the way or lose 30 pounds. Either would be acceptable." FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2012 at 1:29am / Europe / Intimacy

Today, it's my girlfriend's birthday. To celebrate, I spent the day with her and then took her out to a really nice dinner. She is currently giving me the silent treatment because I didn't write "happy birthday" on her Facebook wall. FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2012 at 1:15pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, my friend and I were discussing music bands, and I asked who her favorite Queen member is. She looked at me like I was from another world and said, "I don't have a favorite British queen. That's like, so weird." FML

by fuckingbeliebers / 08/04/2012 at 1:15pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to be nice and pay a social visit to my slightly deranged grandpa. I ended up politely sitting through two hours of him lecturing me on how he "invented the modern tap", then on how sex is an Illuminati invention to "give sluts the STDs they need to kill us all". FML

by yeah okay then / 08/03/2012 at 7:50pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Miscellaneous